“When the going gets tough, the tough takes a coffee break.”

- Tough’s wife in an interview to Tough’s drinking habit weekly      

…. And that is probably the only time this tough ever drinks coffee, if tough under consideration goes by a name that start with M, ends with L, and has R I D U in the middle, in the exact given order.

People have written ballads in extolment of coffee, some of whom I personally know. Others go overboard with adulation for it to show unswerving loyalty in a manner which suggests it gives them pleasures of the kind one does not talk about when old or children are part of the audience. For such, the worshippers and not the old and c., I have only one thing to say: next time you skim through the pretentious menu of the overpriced coffee shop, try a pint of beer sometime. It works better.

By now, you would have figured out that, I am no coffee worshipper, and I hate anyone who does so. To be completely honest, on a larger scale of things, I am a misanthrope, but I have a singular dislike for people with piety for the beverage.

However, it would clearly be a case of deceiving the audience if I say I do not drink coffee. I do drink coffee and in no small quantity for that matter. In fact, on very busy days, strong smell of coffee has been reported to emanate from my workspace, and a very similar scent has been sensed in restrooms as well. My boss has been seen noting a hurried point or two, presumably positive ones for my appraisal, as and when he gets a strong odor of the beverage with a justified presumption that Mridul Greenwold is working hard.

To cut a long story short, you must extend the story by at least a few sentences, for it to be noticed. Therefore, I resume. Coffee, one might say, is only my bad-weather friend (as in opposite to fair weather friends).

We are like two war-weathered comrades, having roughed many a fiery battles and breached many an enemy lines together. We first came together for 2003 War of Boards. We were together once again when boards reattacked in 2005. After the second attack, peace treaty was signed and we returned to our respective homes, into arms of our respective lovers. And when we thought we have already seen the last of each other, the chemists started their crusades and continued for three years, until truce was called and sanity restored.

The Joint Venture is mostly avoided but we would rather see each other, than face the battles of our lives alone. We do not share fond memories but the bond runs deeper than it seems.

Have you ever found yourself wondering why there's so much unhappiness in the world? I think it's actually contagious, which if this is true might partially explain the epidemic. Is it possible to have an epidemic of unhappiness? I think so. But what does that mean really. Clearly it isn't possible for everyone to go about being peppy and joyful all the time. After all, there's a lot of serious business to attend to. But that's not what this is about. Look around; pay attention next time you're out and about. It's something deeper than this. Maybe it's just my sphere of existence; maybe I'm misreading things. I don't think so.

But if all this is true, if the world really has become deeply cynical and unhappy...what do you do with that? How do you respond to it? Do you join the club, let it overtake you? Kind of hard not to if you're paying any attention. Much easier to lower your expectations. Write it off and tell yourself things like, 'That's just the way it is' or 'Things are never gonna change' or 'It's normal for young people to behave that way' or 'This is just the way I am.' Hmm...Well if you've read this far then you may be thinking that this is all very depressing (or you disagree and think things aren't nearly so bad). Aren't they? Could they be better? Couldn't they be much better? Remember, I'm not talking about the big stuff, like genocide, totalitarianism, widespread denial of basic Human Rights (those are topics for another day). I'm just talking about the basic way things are nowadays - the way people treat one another, how we talk to one another, the kinds of public behaviors we deem acceptable now, the kinds of things that qualify as 'funny,' how we treat the elderly, how we treat our women, how young men treat young women. Looking around and paying attention to these things can really make it tough not to get cynical. Because they really could be better. Probably they could be a lot better.

But maybe the real trick is figuring out what to do with it. Instead of getting cynical about it; or worse, joining in and adding to the misery, what if there's another way. Not a big sweeping 'Let's change the world' kind of way but something much smaller and more personal. I wonder if it's possible to be able to look at the state of things, feel sadness about it but choose not to let it drag you down. Is this possible? I think so. I hope so. In fact, I bet you there's someone out there right now who already has this down pat. Maybe it's because they're more optimistic than you or I, maybe they just have a lot more faith in humanity, or maybe they just have a gift of loving and caring about people with little regard for the other person's merit. It isn't one of my natural gifts to be sure. But I've seen these people - even had the fortune of bumping into them from time to time. And it reminds me that this whole cynicism thing doesn't have to overwhelm a person after all, that there's a choice in there somewhere.

Even for those of us who aren't blessed with the gift of always seeing the good in people maybe there's another way. Maybe we can make a choice, a simple choice to remember that even if things seem so far from where they could be to remind ourselves that we don't have to let it consume us. To not let it dictate our behavior toward others. Maybe it's possible to cautiously (with good judgment) give more people the benefit of the doubt - instead of assuming upfront that everyone is selfish, or has an ulterior motive. Not easy, even less so for some of us. But I think probably this is doable. It's a small, simple, conscious choice that probably presents itself to most of us every day of our lives. And you know what. Even if we only managed to pull it off half the time I bet we'd be doing ourselves and everyone around us a favor. To see things for what they are, but to not add to the bad stuff, and to not let the overabundance of bad stuff drag you down into cynicism or despair...now there's something to work toward.

And to those who do this naturally, who probably can't even explain why or how they have so much love and compassion toward others...you are a true blessing in this world. I know you're out there even if you are rare and rarely appreciated. Thank you for simply being you.

"I will take revenge;

I will pay them back,

says the LORD.

20 Instead,

"If your enemies are hungry, feed them,

If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.

In doing this, you will heap

burning coals of shame on their heads."

21  Don't let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.  That is saying in essence; let the Holy Spirit convict them.  He will convince them that they are in desperate need of a Savior, and that Savior is Jesus Christ.

We can' t change anyone and it is not our job to.  That is God's job.  Our job is just to love them, right where their at, just like God loves us right where we're at.

James 1: 19 says: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to becomes angry.  Sometimes people just need a sounding board, a chance to vent.  We need, as difficult as that can be at time, to just let them.  Alot of times they just need to know that we love them even in these difficult times.  When we talk to much and don't take the time to listen to others, we are saying to them that what we want and what we think is more Important than who they are or what they think.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Gal. 6:9

We can't really know the depth of our character until we see how we react under pressure.  God wants to make us mature and complete, not to keep us from all pain.  Instead of complaining about our struggles, we should see them as opportunities for growth.  Thank God for promising to be with you in rough times.  Ask him to help you solve your problems or to give you the strength to endure them.  Then be patient. God will not leave you alone with your problems; he will stay close and help you grow.

Heb.  10:36 says:  You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.  Place your trust in God.  If you do, He will never let you down.  If you don't know Him, it doesn't have to stay that way.  Just confess from your heart that you are a sinner in need of a Savior, and ask Him to forgive you and come into your life.  He will wash you clean as snow and He will take up residence in your heart.  God Bless You.

Mr. Demonic doesn't want to play with me. He thinks I practice scales too much. He plays the piano, but I have to beg him to accompany me. Ms. MiniD played the flute, but now that she is 18, she has fulfilled her obligation to music lessons and playing music, and she has retired. Mr. Demonic Junior, starting his fourth year studying piano at a prestigious West Coast Conservatory, says I still can't count worth a darn.

This leaves me with my teacher. She's nice enough, and competent enough (her husband was 1st violinist at our local symphony before he retired about 30 years ago), but I never see any of her other students. We also don't have any opportunities to play in front of others, which I thought was helpful for my own children.

I've now progressed to 6th and 7th position, which means I am way, way, way high up on the neck of my violin. If I thought the instrument was tough before, now it's practically devilish. It's taken me two months to do four pages of exercises. Part of my problem is that my elderly brain is not able to comprehend a lot of this all at once. I know what's right, but making my fingers do it is nearly impossible without hours of practice. The other thing is that I only have an hour or so a day to practice. I wish I could do more. (When I go on vacation, I bring my violin and find I can practice for hours at a time.) Being old, I'm also not as fearless as the little four year olds I know who can play circles around me.

My teacher speaks quickly. I am great at puzzling looks, so she takes the hint immediately. I know what she is saying, especially when it comes to relating my fingers to each other, but it seems to take me forever to put the theory into practice.

You can teach an old dog new tricks, but you have to be prepared to outlive him.

From an evolutionary point of view, there are lots of different theories about why men have facial hair and why women, for the most part, don't.
I actually tried to find this out, but there were so many theories out there, it seems the scientific world really doesn't know for sure.
There's the theory that men went out into the cold the most to do their hunting, so they needed beards for warmth.
There's a theory that it's just a simple fact of hormones.
There's the belief that mens' facial hair is just another evolutionary development to attract females as a sign of masculinity. And there are more.
Whatever, to me it doesn't make much sense.

Basically, upon reflection, I remember getting man-hairier when i was in my 12th std...which seemed cool to me, then. I was around 17yrs old! I was told that, it will grow thicker and in a more proper way, only if you start shaving. So, i wanted to shave.

A few of my friends, had started shaving regularly. For some reason, this insulted me, coz it made me feel like a small boy. “I’ll show them!” I thought. “I’ll have crazy thick hair on my face!”
And, unfortunately, that’s exactly what happened. Crazy Hair!

The first time i shaved was as soon as i finished my 12th std. I went shopping and bought the Razor, Shaving Cream, Brush, After-Shave Lotion, etc etc! The next day morning i woke up early, all charged up to do my first shave!
I Grabbed the razor, popped in a fresh blade, and made everything ready with what is quite possibly the perfect shave setup. After rinsing my face, lathered up thickly and shaved whatever small mustache and beard that was there! And then there was the aftershave.
I was only shaving fuzz, but it was cool.

After that i started shaving once in 2-3 months, then every month and now it has become every week!

I have suffered many cuts and scrapes and various other outrageous misfortunes whilst trying to maintain a clean-shaven look and feel!

Once during my second year, frm the study hols till the next semester beginning, i didnt shave. I was too lazy and so let it grow. Having a beard was kind of cool! I think it made me look tough! I really hate shaving and it was fun not to for a while. In the end I gave up. I just couldnt find the right balance or scruffiness and sophistication!

Besides that, professionally, I can't go around looking unshaven and unkempt. I either have to be clean-shaven or have a beard...I can't BE in between, unless I've decided I'm growing a beard.

The task went from a "do it when you want to feel like a grownup" thing to a "do it every day if you don't want to look like Grizzly Adams" thing.

Now, I’ve certainly reached a point where shaving has become a chore.

I hate Shaving! :((

I wish, i knew magic, so that i could control the amount of hair on my face. I could make it grow to exactly the size and shape i want it to be! But, unfortunately, in reality, i cant make do without shaving.

So, shaving is a necessary evil in my life!!!

Hey... Catch U ppl later... I gotta go shave now...!!!

A lot of manufacturers have notebook computers that they consider ruggedized in some form or another, but it's not always clear just how much they can take. Panasonic gave Geek.com access to their testing facilities in order to see some of what their notebooks go through. Some tests include temperature shock, drop testing (from various angles), a 360-degree shower with pressurized water, and more. In addition to describing parts of the test process they got some video of a Toughbook 30 standing up to a few drops and a lot of water.

After purchasing a few final additions for my cycle ride on Friday, I made my way to the Condor ferry terminal at St Peter Port terminal. Unfortunately, as the ferry was due to arrive at 18:20 in Weymouth, I knew I would have a fairly full on ride to make it by the time it got dark.

Things did not start well; the ferry was over an hour later departing. It had been due to rain all day Friday and to my great fortune, the weather had abated. Indeed, on the journey over to the mainland, the skies cleared and large swathes of blue were visible. This perked my spirits up as I realised that I would have about 2 hours of sunshine to cycle 50 miles. No problem on my road bike but how would the Thorn perform?

Matters became instantly more complicated when us cyclists were hemmed in by a ferry load of cars waiting to disembark. We had to wait almost 30 minutes until we were able to leave the boat. Precious time was slipping away and the evening light was already beginning to filter through the progressively more patchy sky.

I had prepared my route at Pete’s place and listed out a series of directions. Alas, I was not able to find the first marker and ended up having to follow the queuing line of traffic to exit Weymouth. Here, the cycle was in its element as I was able to jump most of the tailbacks.

It was at this juncture that the sneaking suspicion that the evening’s ride was not going to be as straightforward as I had hoped began to creep in. The landscape around Weymouth is quite spectacular and decidedly hilly. With the additional weight of the steel framed bike and the three panniers, the cruising speed was down from 25mph to a far more modest 12mph. I did some quick maths in my head and realised that I would not make it to Ottery St Mary until after dark. My original expectations were that I would arrive in Weymouth and be off the ferry by 6.30pm followed by a leisurely saunter to Ottery, arriving at around 9.30pm riding the coattails of sunshine for the day.

With the much reduced pace, my delayed arrival in Weymouth and the fact that I managed to get completely lost so early on, I estimated my time of arrival at closer to midnight. Thankfully I had some lights with me but they were small, city lights, to ensure that motorists could see me on well lit urban streets. They were really not up to the task of illuminating a jet black road as I ploughed through the night on the A35.

Another problem was that after just two hours, I had exhausted almost all of my 2litre water supply. Having originally believed that I would be cycling earlier in the day, I had concluded that I would be able to refill my water bottles at service stations en route. Regrettably, it became abundantly apparent that this would not be the case as each and every petrol station I cycled past was closed.

I had also not counted on the road being so perilous. Cars hurtled past me at 60mph, inches from my rear panniers, buffeting me with strong gusts of displaced wind in the process. With the ever dimming sky, I prayed that my pathetic lights were up to the task of forewarning these motorists of my presence.

The route I followed took in some very long hill climbs, which many cyclists are not fans of. With the additional weight and my inexperience of handing the bike, I wobbled precariously as I steadily scaled each hurdle.With all the weight hanging over the rear wheel, the front end tended to weaver frantically as I spun the pedals in 4^th gear, averaging a speed of around 5-6mph.

Finally, after more than three hours of exertion, cycling through the undulating Devonshire landscape, with no light save for the modest pool afforded by my front LED, I stopped in mid ascent, exhausted. It felt like I was climbing Mount Olympus to speak with the gods. I lay down next to the road and drained what little water I had left. It was dark. The stillness of the evening was broken only momentarily by the infrequent, speeding cars that whirled past me. I was running on empty. I had no chocolate bars or water to consume or a mobile phone to contact Bryony with, to inform her where I was. Indeed, I had no real idea at that point where I lay. Determined to make the remaining journey as fast as possible, driven by the need to quench my insatiable thirst, I pressed on after a 15 minute rest.

Finally, with an exultant whoop, I pulled in to Honiton and located a phone booth to call Bryony. After an emotional conversation (it was 12.30am I and was in fact 3 hours late), she said she would drive over to collect me. I asked a local policeman where I could acquire some water and he took me back to the Honiton police station where I drank to my heart’s desire.

It was quite an adventure; exhilarating, exhausting, educational. I realise that I am capable on my road bike, unencumbered by the weight of the panniers. However, my cycle ride across the UK was going to take more effort than I had first thought. Bizarre as it sounds, one of the reasons I was keen to undertake such a physical test was to push me well out of my comfort zone. This cycle ride informed me that I would indeed be pushed hard but that the reward afterwards would be far more than I had first thought.

Only through a great challenge can one achieve a great victory.

Google map of today's cycle route

            Sincerity, it seems everyday it’s a little bit harder to show to others. Not because we don’t care but our days are becoming increasingly more hectic and busy. Instead of little moments where we take the time to give a genuine complement or allow someone to squeeze by during the morning traffic jam. We fill our day with moments of hurriedness, a little road rage at nearby cars or our half smiles and weak waves given to those we acknowledge daily.

            I have learned a lot from working a few different jobs. In particular is some conclusions about those programmed responses everyone has. How often do you automatically respond “Good, and you?” when asked how you’re doing. And often, the conversation doesn’t make it much farther than the greeting and “How are you?” bit when it dies off. No we don’t need to feel them in on every detail about our day. I do think it would be good to start to stray away from those all too well know programmed responses.

            As I begin to enter the “real world”. My schedule is being crammed with more and more work hours, money concerns, and other errands. It has been rough going from large amounts of free time to choose what I did and when I did it. Running with my high school Cross Country team, sluffing photography to talk hang out in Coach’s room, and spending Friday and Saturday nights at friends house just hanging out. While I know these moments won’t all be gone forever, I do recognize the significant shortage of them. It’s rough being shot straight into the realm of responsibility after spending four years in our little secluded sanctuary we know as high school.

            I’m beginning to see a change in the way I behave now, frustration from crummy days at work or just needing a relaxing break away from it all. Many of my friends now lie about an hour of driving and ten dollars in gas to the north west of my new home. A price I would be willing to pay any day. Even when I do head back to visit, it isn’t quite the same. All my friends work also, so coming up with a day for us all to see each other and have some fun proves difficult. I miss the inside jokes that we laugh about years after they happened and having toilet papering and car “decorating” wars, boys vs. girls of course. It’s hard when moments arise at work or around new people that remind you of those inside jokes you have with friends. While you can laugh about it in your mind, it isn’t the same as turning to a friend and laughing out loud together. And try as you might to explain the humor of the past situation to someone on the outside of the joke, it just doesn’t work.

            I think the “real world” needs a slight tweak. Take the time to just be sincere or kind during the day, at least once. I love stumbling upon someone willing to do something nice, such as letting me merge onto the busy street while I have been waiting in the exit to the bank parking lot. A man in his white vehicle bettered my day with that simple gesture today. The amazing thing about these small acts is while they seem so small and minuscule when we do them, they often give a relieving thankful moment to the recipient. So, give it a whirl! Our world is in constant need of some betterment and, it isn’t going to happen on its own. Tomorrow when you’re out and about and have the opportunity to be kind, take it!

            I’m not sure why I started writing about this tonight. It’s rough getting put in an unfamiliar location, let alone a totally different lifestyle. But, those little sincere and friendly moments really do give me a break from all the bad and help to keep me going. I know I appreciate them and I hope that I’m doing my part to hand a few out also.

Second Application...................First Application

Quite frankly my tattoo is looking pretty gross. It looks much worse compared to the first application. The tattoo doesn't hurt whatsoever though, which is good. The skin where I applied the TCA feels tough.

The principle here is simple: have you seen an ant ever gathering food before, across your wall, or some place else? I’m sure you have. If you haven’t go check your kitchen, as neat as it is :) you will still find one “hunter ant” searching for food. If you have seen ants carrying food before, you would have notice that: the ant most of the time, if not all the time carries stuff bigger than it. Yeah! What are you waiting for? That’s the principle. ;)

When the knowledge dropped in me I realized something about us humans. Yes! You reading this script right now, I’m talking to you. So many times, in our lives we comes face to face with obstacles, trials, temptations, mountains bigger than us, however we want to describe it in other words. When these difficult times come what do we do? Do we blame God for allowing it to happen to you? Do you blame your father or mother? Do you blame your friends? Maybe your teacher even, for not teaching you well enough? Look face reality, things happen all the time, if you haven’t face a difficult time before, then maybe we should check the death records if you are dead (just kidding); but then what’s important is that we have to come out of it. Yeah so why did I bring the ant into all this at all?

That little creature faces the toughest challenge of its life trying to gather food, thinking of it how much do you suffer to bring food in? The food falls but the ant picks it up, putting the heavy stuff on its back once again, shifting it slightly, and changing its style. It never gives up! If it feels it can’t go on, if goes in for help, and a string of ants come and start breaking the stuff into bits. They never leave it there; they take it all in, little by little until they are done. As soon as they are done, they go searching for the next big pile.

I look at this little creature much bigger than we men, but its courage, strength, and not-giving up character is much bigger than our understanding. Hey! Doesn’t it just push you to move on? To go pass the so called THING that’s stopping you? Look at the mountain before you, my friend, you better start climbing it. You may think because you are single mother and moving in between jobs, you can’t take care of all those children. No! My mum, you can, like the ant piece by piece little by little, you can bring it all in. That difficult time you are facing can’t move if you don’t move it. If our friend, the ant doesn’t move the large chunk of stuff, it will never move. My father, my brother, my mother, my friend, my sister, start moving that load, walking over that mountain, and fighting back. Think about how to move on and MOVE! Stop staring at that load and fight on, it may seem difficult, a very heavy load, it may even fall, but like the ant, pick it up again and change how you carry it. If you can’t any longer, don’t give up, call me from your next door I will help you hull it in.

Little be little, piece by piece, you can hull it all in. You will be over that mountain. That difficult time will later turn to be a stepping stone for another person when you are telling it to another A moment you will smile over, because it made you stronger. Don’t give up! There’s more ahead! I have a saying that, “It’s never impossible; it’s just that you don’t know how-to, yet!” Now you know, take the principle from the ant, “HULL IT ALL IN!”

I already told you how cised I get for guys that open their own dojos. Bruce Lee founded his own martial arts philosophy. And I quote the good book:

"Remember that Jeet Kune Do is merely a name used, a mirror in which to see "ourselves". . . Jeet Kune Do is not an organized institution that one can be a member of. Either you understand or you don't, and that is that."

That's deeper than the Force. If I could be a member of the Jeet Kune Do, I would. But one can't. Besides being completely shredded and the sickest kung-fu artist ever, Lee could spring a 235 pound man several feet with a 1 inch punch (seriously), perform one-hand push-ups using only the thumb and index finger, and throw a grain of rice in the air and catch it with a pair of chopsticks. Then again, Daniel-Sahn kinda one-upped him by catching a fly with the chopsticks, so take the grain of rice with a grain of salt.

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18. Greg Valentino

If I could have any nickname in the world, here are my top three:

3) The Shlonginator

2) Richie Rich

1) The Man With the Biggest Arms in the World.

Unfortunately, my favorite nickname already belongs to Greg Valentino and his awesome guns. Greg Valentino knows the potential of the human body. That with the right amount of discipline, we can all achieve a Roman sculpture-like physique. Funny though that he's straight up disrespected in the bodybuilding world. If I were trying to get huge, I'd hate on Greg Valentino too. Look who accomplished my goals before me. Greg Valentino.

Their chief complaint is that he juiced. Look, I don't know anything about that. I mean, he looks okay to me. But if juicing gets you arms like that, so perfectly chiseled and well-defined... shit, stick me in the biceps right now. Cause if being awesome is wrong, me and Greg don't want to be right.

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17. Kimbo Slice

I Googled "Kimbo Slice Loses" and it came back asking "Did you mean "Kimbo Slice is Ridiculously Awesome?" And I was like, "yes, that's exactly what I meant." Kimbo's business is leaving guys with bloody eye sockets like Joe Victim in the vid. Back before his debut in MMA, Kimbo walked through the gate of a backyard. A dozen or so of the shadiest guys you had ever seen all had cash neatly arranged on the patio. Joe Victim stepped, and then got beat down. Lastly, Kimbo collected his duckets. And that, my friends, is how Kimbo rolls.

Check out :26 in the video where Kimbo gives Bloody Eye Socket Man three free punches.

Then check out the very last frame of the video where Bloody Eye Socket Man becomes Bloody Eye Socket Man.

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16. Steve Irwin

Awwwww Crikey! Steve Irwin was a naturalist, an animal lover and an environmentalist. Steve Irwin was also a bona fide lunatic. The way he called animals "gorgeous" was downright creepy. Be that as it may, when Steve Irwin slipped into those little khaki shorts, no man or beast could handle the Croc Hunter. Just ask that busta, Argo. And a man that can take a croc down, then stand above it and say, "you just got served, mate," is monster himself.

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15. Tiny Lister

He's not really tiny, silly. What he is though, is a man who suffers from possibly the worst lazy, cockeyed, Shaq eye I have ever seen. However, since he's 7'13" and tough as a piece of burnt steak, the only one who has ever mentioned it to him is the mirror. I know 14 is high on the list, but in reviewing his service to this country through various entertainment outlets, I feel justified in a ranking this high. His role as Zeus in the epic "No Holds Barred" opposite Hulk Hogan is nothing short of mesmerizing. In the Fifth Element, he played the president of the United States which I found a little less believable, but made me excited about the future of this great nation should it head down a similar path where a man like Tiny one day stands at the helm. And then, of course, there's "Friday," where he played Debo. Something tells me he didn't need to do a lot of research for the role. But his line, "stop bein' a bitch and c'mon," will go down in history next to "Rosebud."

Staring at empty spaces. Unlike Po, the dragon warrior kungfu panda, who would eat, mine is just the preceding phrase.

You thought you would marry the right one.  Nah!

You thought your kids would achieve as much as you had in the past.  Nope!

You thought your career would give you as much satisfaction.  Zilch!

And suddenly it is just a dead end. It is just an income substitution job. Yupp!

Imagine you have to face 'destiny that you can't tweak' everyday in your face.  And you can't do nothing about it.  Ahh!

It's a tough life!

Why does Tom Brady have so much, when others have so little? He's arguably the greatest quarterback in the NFL. Now traditionally that title is reserved for some of the most trifling looking mugs you'd ever see: Terry Bradshaw, Dan Marino, John Elway. God made them ugly but He also made them awesome. But not Tom Brady. Oh no, cannon arm, quarterback mind, and a model's face. Why? First he bags Bridget Moynahan. Then, when she turns up pregnant, he turns up gone. Next stop, the supermodel orchard where he picks Gisele Bundchen off of his supermodel tree. Plus, extra props for being the model for Stetson Cologne. If you like the fragrance, pick up a bottle at your local TJ Maxx. He's good enough for Stetson, but not Calvin Klein. You're good looking, but you ain't that good looking.

Okay, you totally are. I hate you, Tom Brady.

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23. Earl the Butcher

Duh. Name another man on earth bold enough to, not only compile a list of the 44 most awesomest men ever, but to do so in such a bulletproof fashion as to make it indisputable. They said it couldn't be done. And yet, here we are. Name another man who consistently posts awesome blogs while maintaining an audience that sometimes reaches as many as six readers. Again, they said it couldn't be done. And again, here we are. Church.

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22. Ron Jeremy

If you've ever been jerking it to a porno and lost your wood to the point of no return, you know exactly who Ron Jeremy is. Fat, disgusting, hairy, and awesome, his junk is the size of... well, let's just say he puts his pants on three legs at a time. If it weren't for porn Ron Jeremy would be the guy that little kids ask inappropriate questions about in public. But with a filmography that boasts titles like Honey, We Blew Up Your Pussy, and Fugly (you didn't know he was the voice of Mr. Penis in that?), you can guess why every used-up porn star says the same two things: "RJ the Hedgehog is the king of porn," and, "Gonorrhea itches really bad."

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21. Davey Crockett

Here's the recipe for awesome soup:

(1) nickname of "King of the Wild Frontier"

(1) personal accomplishment of killing you a b'ar, when you were only three.

(1) rifle

(1) death at the Battle of the Alamo.

(note: if you like your soup a little less awesome, omit previous ingredient)

Optional: (1) Coon Skin Hat

Mix ingredients.

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20. Hugh Hefner

Things are going well when wildlife officials names a subspecies of cottontail rabbits after you. Things are going way-awesome when your business card reads: CCO, Playboy Enterprises and Editor and Chief, Playboy Magazine. The stories of the 217 year-old playboy are epic, and often include him in a bed with six playmates while another dozen or so stand around and watch. And as if an old man getting laid isn't awesome enough, his get-togethers at the Playboy Mansion are also the sole exception to my life mantra: Pajama Parties are for Losers.

Most cultures have their own ways of preparing boys for the hardships of life, a kind of toughening process. As this line of thought goes, through this toughening, when the boys become men they will have been sufficiently tested to withstand even the most challenging circumstances life can throw at them. So, rituals develop or are developed to standardize this toughening process and infuse it with meaning. In western industrialized cultures, many of the rituals have disappeared, but there are remnants. Participation in sports and “hard” work continue to promote pro-social male gender roles but in less formal ways than the more primitive cultures.

In our culture, bullies are like rogue sentries that search for the outliers in a social system, like a predator circling the herd zeroing in on someone feeble. So, in the herd, some boy has escaped the ritual/s of toughening and upon discovery is pursued by or fed to the bully. The bully’s charge is to snuff out anything that is remotely soft. Destroying the boy is not the desired end, but witnessing the novice male cower, cry, plead and lie prostrate before the bully IS. Softness as well as sensitivity is always defined by the bully as weakness. Unfortunately, if this toughening process is done in excess, the softness necessary for relational warmth, empathy and compassion can be muted or disappears altogether.

So back to my original question, do bullies serve an important societal function?

Because the shoes are made of Croslite, and Croslite is a closed-cell resin, your natural body heat will soften the fabric and mold it to your feet. This is where the comfort comes from.

Wikipedia tells us that Croslite is actually ethylene vinyl acetate in disguise.

Its amazing how weird science turns into great shoes!

If I had to get fat, I mean, if I HAD to get fat, I'd try to be just like John Candy. His resume has more ridiculously funny movies on it than anyone's. Summer Rental, Splash, Uncle Buck, Planes Trains and Automobiles. Plus, name one other fat guy in history who could pull off a mustache. They all ended up looking like Dom Delouise.

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38. Charles Bronson

Take a good, long, look at that video above. Make it full screen and really watch it. There were only two people in every Bronson movie. Bronson, and victim. Most guys wouldn't dare touch a crotch... even in a fight. Charles Bronson was too busy kicking ass to be homophobic. Which is good, because the title of Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Clause sounds kind of gay. Not that I would tell him. He'd be like, "oh really? What about Deathwish? Does that sound gay too?" And I'd be like, "I warned you!" Then he'd do this to me.

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37. Howard Stern

There's really nothing cool about Howard Stern other than the women he pulls in. The only thing is he pulls in more women than most of us do air. He shows up on Leno with lesbians. He has strippers at his rallies. Female callers dial in to jerk off over the phone to him. Howard Stern gets more pussy than a tampon so welcome to the list.

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36. Jack Nicholson

This one is iffy. I go back and forth with him because one moment you're like, "Lakers' floor tickets." Very cool. But then, the Bucket List. But here's what you have to take into consideration: every time an actor wins the Oscar, they take a second out of the proudest moment of their life to pay their respect to Jack. And he's always sitting front and center at the coolest seat in the house. All right, I gotta stop contemplating this one before I remember the movie Wolf.

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35. General Zod

So this is the planet Houston? If Superman II were a documentary and not a fictional movie, it would have played out quite differently. The president would indeed kneel before Zod as he did in the movie. But then, all Americans would have to make a pilgrimage to the nation's capitol and wait in line outside the White House. One by one, President Zod would see us. And after pledging allegiance to him, we would KNEEL! KNEEL BEFORE ZOD. I'd be proud to, General.

BTW, I love the way the short-order cook decides to turn off the television just as the president of the US relinquishes control of the entire planet.

So I got to thinking; who are my Gary Coopers? Men so awesome, that no matter how tough you think you are, in comparison, make you feel like Buffalo Bill tucking your junk between your legs. I put together the list, and Gary Cooper isn't on it. I'm starting off with 44-40. I'll then be posting the subsequent entries in the order that they ranked. This way I won't exceed the maximum amount of awesome that this server can handle.

44. Lance Armstrong

First off, having the word strong in your name is exactly that. The seven TDF's don't do a lot for me. The fact that he did it with one nut... kinda huge (not the actual nut, just that he did it with only one). Then he went out and tagged Sheryl Crow, one of the Michelles from Full House, and Kate Hudson. Again, with one nut. Kinda huge.

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43. Johnny Knoxville

The rest of those Jackass guys are losers with nothing to lose. But Knoxville risks a pretty decent looking face to do the stuff he does. (I didn't just call him good looking.)

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42. Steven Segal

Slow down. Before you jump down my throat, I know, he's a douchebag. And if this was a fashion contest he'd be disqualified. Plus he got fat, which makes me throw up just a little bit in my mouth. Having said all of that, you have to respect his aikido style (if you don't , Segal will teach you to respect it). Plus, ask me if I think opening a real dojo is perhaps the coolest thing on earth. Aye Sensei. You know you're dying to check out aikidojournal.com. Please finish the blog first.

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41. John Basedow

His head is three times the size of his body? Why don't you say it to his face? Because of the following two words: FITNESS GURU. Oh, you work out? Are you a fitness guru? Didn't think so. John Basedow is. That's why he's number 41 on the list and you're only reading it.

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40. Henry Rollins

What do these three things have in common?

a) Black Flag

b) Appearing in the movie Heat

c) This Video

They all rule. So does Rollins.

Click image to see full size

Some people may be able to decode this very easily, but I think it is a pretty tough code to crack.  I am discussing it in the next paragraph, so if you want to try to decode it yourself, scroll back up.  For an explanation, keep reading.

The code uses two extra "characters" over the regular twenty-six.

• /-when decoding, it means one letter to the right of the one below it.  When encoding, it means one letter to the left of the one above it.
• \-This has the opposite effect

You decode it by translating each line from the bottom, up to the top line one by one.  The top is where your answer lies.  A few perks:

• It can be as easy or as complicated as you want.  This took me roughly 15 minutes to draw out.  My guess is that every minute it takes to make, it takes three minutes or more to crack (if you know how).
• The "\/" formations are very interesting.  You can offer them to confuse the decoder.  Basically, a "\/" can make two lines out of one.  The "/\" formations can make one line out of two.  You can give the decoder conflicting information in a line and force them to keep tabs on both bits of information until they find out which one fits.
• You can make a chain between letters if you want.

It's tough to describe these things.  I wish I could just project what I see in my head to you guys.  Maybe I'll release another puzzle/code.

In case you are wondering, the answer is "RENDIPEN"