Yaw Eno floated the Illinois River in Tahlequah.  Because of all the recent rain, the river was more treacherous than usual.

Yaw Eno ended the night at a hot nightclub.

(I checked and although the Yaw Eno's replacement has been there for two weeks, Yaw Eno is still standing.  Long live Yaw Eno!)

The girls in the back of the classroom had been whispering about something - "It was a funeral home ad - I said, 'Die Cheap!,' and she said, 'Right Now!'" So the teacher minding the end-of-day study session held the class over 10 minutes, and another girl had to run for the school bus to get home. The girl who ran teased the girl who got the class held after at the first girl's retirement lunch in a rural Middle Tennessee county this afternoon, about 30 years later. Die Cheap - made me laugh, sounded like a cross between an Ian Fleming and a Raymond Chandler title.

I worked away from the office today in that rural county. The women there were holding a retirement party party, and needed the room I'd reserved for testing. I was happy to oblige them by using a cubicle and small conference room to work with my charges. One of the ladies invited me share their lunch, which I did. Ate two huge helpings of spiced greens, some sliced tomatoes, two potato wedges, two small handfuls of popcorn fried chicken I at first mistook for fried okra, and three chocolate-chip cookies. Yep, Loggie, thought I'd try the okra, but lucked out and got chicken instead :)

I could've used the funeral ad exchange on the Chattanooga Chu Chu thread. I miss the nonsense.

always happy to be of service to our Elderly Community!

A couple of weeks ago, we attended the postal retirement dinner held in honor of my husband.  You might think it is odd to have a retirement party five months after the fact, but hey, they don’t call it Snail Mail for nuthin’.  Truthfully, they always have them in March, and all those who have retired during the entire previous year get their moment of glory ... unless they have died before it gets a chance to happen.  The party happens even if no one has retired -- because of the free dinner.

This year there were two retirees -- a conventional one and the not-so-conventional one (my husband).  They both wore suits and ties, much to my surprise.  Beebee and I managed to keep our man from wearing the bowtie, so we were happy.  The conventional guy’s suit was ill-fitting, in keeping with how postal workers normally dress when not in uniform.   I have noticed this tradition before, at every retirement dinner I have attended over the last thirty years.  Mr. Not-So-Conventional looked dapper.  His suit fit him.  It did not sag and bunch in weird places.  My coaching on attire had absolutely nothing to do with it this time.  He pulled off a proper appearance all by himself.  I was proud of him.  (I married him for his elegant figure.)

We ate the standard banquet affair victuals.  Postal parties truly must be abhorred by banquet facility owners, due to letter carriers eating so much.  I do not know where they stuff it all.  Even the skinny ones manage single-handedly to put more chicken in their gullets than a whole pack of foxes invading the hen house could ever hope to accomplish.  I suppose a ten-hour day out in the cold contributes to this talent.  They slide it all down with the help of the cole slaw and jellied cranberries.

They all talked about the ten-hour days. Sixty-hour work weeks are the norm right now for everyone, and have been for the last few years.  It costs less to work them to death and then get new ones than it does to hire more help.  The morale is low.  They all thought the Emancipation Proclamation was signed in 1863, but it has not taken effect in the U.S. Postal Service yet.  (They must have an exemption clause.)  Paul was one of the fortunate ones: he had a bum ankle and a consequent doctor’s excuse that kept him to a forty-hour work week.  If that had not worked, he might have tried what some of the others did: mental distress exemptions from the psychotherapist.  (I would have felt bad if he had had to stoop that low, but some did, in order to survive.)

The union representatives’ speeches were all the same as they are every year.  We heard about how much better working conditions are now than they were before the Rebellion of 1970 (the year of the illegal postal strike, which brought the Postal Service, the President, the Congress, Wall Street, and Joseph’s Fish Market to their knees, and introduced collective bargaining).  Even with working sixty hours a week, the guys were encouraged to be grateful that they no longer work seven days a week for $.35 an hour (my slight exaggeration) and live on cat tuna and welfare assistance.  Whenever the president of the union’s name was mentioned, there were little ripples of reverence in the speaker’s voice.  Someone should have played ethereal music to enhance the moments of awe, but I guess they didn’t think of that.

The speakers encouraged us to vote for Obama or Hillary, whichever gets the upper hand, so that all our postal workers do not have to go back to cat tuna or worse.  And the guys were also encouraged to think about using the hours left after working sixty hours a week to campaign for whichever Democrat eventually wins the nomination.  They wanted them to work hard campaigning for the incumbent Democrat in Congress, too, but most of the guys probably aren’t fool enough to do that, because in the last election, he promised the postal workers at our office a big box of free doughnuts if he won, and he never came through with the food.

When the union mucky-mucks got done with their speeches, the retirees got their chance.  The conventional guy made a standard speech of gratitude which was very nice.  He had to behave himself, because he had brought a whole tableful of his relatives to the dinner.  Mr. Not-So-Conventional behaved himself relatively well, considering he can always be a bundle of surprises.  He paved the way for the rest of his speech by telling what a wonderful support his wife had been to him through thirty years.  (I was, too!)  He had gone to all the effort of tallying up how many sandwiches I had made for his lunches in all that time (about 6900, by his count -- that’s a lot of Wonder Bread!).  He went on to tell his funny dog stories in his engaging way.  And he topped it off the way they had all known he would, by telling them about Jesus, and how they could be as happy as he is, if they would give their lives to Him.

They gave us gifts.  Paul received a watch, and I got a green plant the size of a cedar tree.

I think Paul enjoyed his evening immensely, and the rest of his little family were pleased for him.

leeannrubsam.com

Hier kommt nochmal der direkte Link: Business Meeting

Doch die Jungs und Mädels waren nicht untätig: Retirement Party

Wär lieb, wenn mir einer den ersten Kommentar der Katze sagen kann. Da bringts mich bei dem umgangsprachlichen, abgekürzten Englisch echt ins Schleudern. Und das mit dem "Left" kapier ich auch nicht so ganz. Aber egal, viel Spaß beim Anschauen.

As with any party, whether it be a milestone birthday party, anniversary, graduation, etc., we recommend that you center your theme around the guest of honor's interests, hobbies, passions, or hopes and dreams for the future . To get your creative juices flowing, we have outlined a few theme ideas in the sections that follow. After you make your selection, choose invitations, decorations, favors and games/activities that match your theme.

…Because life should be more fun…don't forget that even as the host or hostess, you should absolutely enjoy yourself and reap the rewards of your good planning. Choose a theme that you are excited about, and take pleasure in the little moments of satisfaction you'll encounter along the way. Let the celebration reflect the caring and joy you have put into your planning. If you need additional ideas or suggestions more specific to your party, please email us anytime…we're here to help make all your parties a huge success.

HOBBIES/INTERESTS OF THE RETIREE:
1. SPORTS
1. Golf – "Teeing up for an awesome Retirement!", "Retirement suits you to a Tee!"
2. Baseball – "A Grand Slam of a Career!", "Take me out to the Ballgame!"
3. Tennis – "Serving up wishes for an Ace Retirement"
4. Fishing – "Casting Wishes for a "Reel" Great Retirement!'
5. Sailing/Boating – "Bon Voyage", "Setting Sail for A Brighter Tomorrow", "Anchors Aweigh!"
6. Sports Spectator/Couch Potato – "King of the Remote", "Sports Fanatic!", "Take me out to the Ball Game!"
2. BOAT BUILDING- "Building a Better Tomorrow", "Anchor's Away!"
3. TRAVELING- "A World of Wonder Awaits!"
4. NATURE - Hiking/Camping – "The Great Outdoors awaits!" Environmentalist – "Rainforest Safari"
5. JIGSAW PUZZLES- "You've made this picture complete!"
6. MUSIC- "Set the Night to Music", "You've never missed a Beat!"
7. MOTORCYCLES/HARLEY DAVIDSON- "Hog Wild!"
8. PRO WRESTLING- "Stone Cold Steve (retiree's name) retires at the Peak of his Career!"
9. WINE CONNOISSEUR- Wine Tasting party-"A Vintage Career!"
10. GARDENING- "Everything's Coming up Roses" or "Time to Blossom"
11. WOODWORKING/CRAFTING/SEWING- "Crafting a Brighter Tomorrow!"
12. RODEO/SQUARE DANCING-"Wild Wild West!", "Bye-Bye Buckaroo!"
13. FLYING/HOT AIR BALLOONING/SKYDIVING- "Flying High Into the Future!"

By choosing a theme that fits the interest of the guest of honor, you will have made choosing the perfect gift easier for your other guests…they can purchase something that will be useful for the retiree as they pursue their interests, hobbies, goals or fantasies. We've only hit the tip of the iceberg here…have fun being creative!

NOSTALGIA:
If a trip down memory lane would appeal to your guest of honor, choose a theme with a nostalgic mood:
1. "REMEMBER WHEN…"
2. "ROAST AND TOAST!"
3. "THIS IS YOUR LIFE!"
4. "NOSTALGIA NIGHT!"

Using a nostalgia theme is a wonderful way to highlight the career and life of the individual you are honoring. Do as much research before the party as you possibly can. Decorate a special chair for the honoree to sit in while they are being toasted, shine a spotlight on him or her, and preserve as many mementos as possible. A thoughtful scrapbook can then be assembled at a later date. If you are including a "Roast", ask the roasters to balance the silly comments with flattering comments…this party should make the guest of honor feel good! Ask each guest to come up with his or her own toast, tribute or remembrance. This can take many different forms: A note of thanks, a tape recorded message, a video segment, a telegram, a singing telegram, a poem, song, or skit, a photo collage, slide presentation, or a homemade music video. If you think you may have reluctant presenters in your group, ask an outgoing guest to serve as MC for the evening, and put everyone at ease. There's a ham in every group!

If the idea of spotlighting the life and career of your guest of honor doesn't appeal to you, but you'd still like to invoke a feeling of nostalgia, salute the era most appealing to the retiree, or the decade in which his/her career began.

These themes are always a big hit:
1. "RETRO THEME" – 60s & 70s
2. "FABULOUS FIFTIES" – A sock hop or just good old Rock n' Roll fun!
3. "SWING PARTY!" – A salute to the 40s!
4. FANTASY RETIREMENT LOCATION:
1. TROPICAL PARADISE? – "Hawaiian Luau"
2. SANDY BEACH? – "Beach Bash"
3. YACHTING AROUND THE GLOBE? - "Anchors Away", "Nautical" or "Bon Voyage"
4. A DUDE RANCH? – "Wild Wild West!"
5. LAS VEGAS/MONACO? – "Casino Night"
6. THE AMAZON? – "It's a Jungle out there!"
7. GLOBE TROTTING? – "A World of Wonder Awaits!"
8. SULTRY SOUTH AMERICA? – "Mexican Fiesta!"
Decorate your party rooms to resemble the fantasy retirement location as much as possible. Include lots of authentic music, lighting, and food to transport guests to a really soothing place!

GENERAL THEMES:
1. "YOUR SHOES WILL BE HARD TO FILL"
2. "DREAMS OF TOMORROW"
3. "HOW BRIGHTLY YOU'LL ALWAYS SHINE!" – Stars, stars & more stars!
4. "KING/QUEEN FOR A DAY!"
5. "EVERYTHING'S COMING UP ROSES"
6. "THE BEST IS YET TO COME"
7. "WE'LL BE INSIDE OUT AND BACKWARD WITHOUT YOU!" – Encourage guests to wear attire inside out, present food in reverse order (every meal should start with dessert!), have banners and invitations written back-to-front, etc.
8. "IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE!" – Take guests on a safari!
9. "PROGRESSIVE DINNER" – Include all the favorites of the guest of honor at different homes, or choose multiple restaurants, and transport all the guests from place to place on a trolley or bus, or in limousines!
10. "TACKY NIGHT" – Highlight everything tacky the guest of honor has embraced or avoided over the years!

Check out our theme party tips and birthday party tips for more ideas on how to throw an awesome retirement party.

Image courtesy of Complex Magazine, hip hop cops' brilliant mind and the Summer Jam Screen.

From the creators of the Lloyd Banks retirement party, comes what happens when Kanye West and 50 Cent cross paths, and acknowledge each other dropping the same day. Gotta love the fact that Kanye is played by a girl... can't front, I kinda chuckled.