Personally I blame dell. Oooooo look my 1680x1050/1920x1200 15" screen display is so crystal clear. All the marketing schemes claiming extra screen estate is bull crap of low shit(whatever that means). Low way low... All I see is tiny images, buttons, fonts crammed together with out of this world dpi setting. The result is a horrendous depiction of already sicken HIG.

Who watches bluray on their laptop? with a TN panel screen? Apple seems to have some sense of the issue. Macbook and Air stay at 1280x800 while Macbook pro 15" comes with 1440x900. In the latest news, Sony Z 13" does 1600x900...

Reference: 1216114411

Edit | 15th July 2008 at 10:33 BST by Nikki Ambler. Permalink.

Our client is seeking a Rotating Equipment Engineer to be based in Saudi Arabia.

Location Al-Jubail, Saudi Arabia

Salary

Competitive salary depending on qualifications and experience

Job Responsibilities

Responsibilities: Supervise the day-to-day administration of the installation of all rotating machinery, e.g. pumps, compressors, fans, etc., including those fitted as part of a unit.

Ensure work of contractors is carried out safely and efficiently in a competent manner and that they adhere to the Permit to Work System.

Organize and direct the site engineers and inspectors controlling the works.

Resolve contractor raised queries in conjunction with technical support group, raise and close out engineering queries as applicable.

Witnessing of any testing as required in the codes and standards.

Ensuring correct compilation of certification by the contractor as agreed with the Completion’s Leader.

Compilation of punch lists in conjunction with the contractor and client.

Ensuring that the contractor generates the required as built drawings as required by the project procedures.

Carry out inspections, surveys and checks to ensure machinery installation and alignment pre and post pipe work testing is as per Project Specifications.

Assist in the resolution of interface problems with other contractors.

Ensure safety and security of all construction activities and workers under his control.

Advise site planners on the realism of construction programs and advising of amendments.

Ensure work is completed as per specification and drawings, and that the requirements of engineering queries are incorporated.

Progress and direct contractors to ensure work is completed in a timely manner.

Ensure costs are controlled and site instructions monitored during work progress.

Interpret contract documents and liaise with the contractor on all aspects of the work.

Undertake vendor inspection and testing acceptance as required.

To create a preservation and maintenance schedule, ensuring all equipment listed is preserved and maintained in accordance with the guarantee requirements of all Vendors.

Direct labor to carry out the preservation and maintenance of equipment in an efficient manner and as per schedule and contract requirements.

Co-ordinate Completion’s Groups responsibilities for providing "First Fills" of equipment as per schedule and contract requirements.

Overseeing the installation of all mechanical equipment, including organization and monitoring of vendor representatives´ site visits.

Assist contractor with the preparation of method statements to meet permit requirements.

Contact ERS on +44 (0) 1454 203 460  or submit a CV to CV@energyrs.co.uk to register your interest or apply for this position.

Reference: 1216114411

Edit | 15th July 2008 at 10:33 BST by Nikki Ambler. Permalink.

Our client is seeking a Rotating Equipment Engineer to be based in Saudi Arabia.

Location Al-Jubail, Saudi Arabia

Salary

Competitive salary depending on qualifications and experience

Job Responsibilities

Responsibilities: Supervise the day-to-day administration of the installation of all rotating machinery, e.g. pumps, compressors, fans, etc., including those fitted as part of a unit.

Ensure work of contractors is carried out safely and efficiently in a competent manner and that they adhere to the Permit to Work System.

Organize and direct the site engineers and inspectors controlling the works.

Resolve contractor raised queries in conjunction with technical support group, raise and close out engineering queries as applicable.

Witnessing of any testing as required in the codes and standards.

Ensuring correct compilation of certification by the contractor as agreed with the Completion’s Leader.

Compilation of punch lists in conjunction with the contractor and client.

Ensuring that the contractor generates the required as built drawings as required by the project procedures.

Carry out inspections, surveys and checks to ensure machinery installation and alignment pre and post pipe work testing is as per Project Specifications.

Assist in the resolution of interface problems with other contractors.

Ensure safety and security of all construction activities and workers under his control.

Advise site planners on the realism of construction programs and advising of amendments.

Ensure work is completed as per specification and drawings, and that the requirements of engineering queries are incorporated.

Progress and direct contractors to ensure work is completed in a timely manner.

Ensure costs are controlled and site instructions monitored during work progress.

Interpret contract documents and liaise with the contractor on all aspects of the work.

Undertake vendor inspection and testing acceptance as required.

To create a preservation and maintenance schedule, ensuring all equipment listed is preserved and maintained in accordance with the guarantee requirements of all Vendors.

Direct labor to carry out the preservation and maintenance of equipment in an efficient manner and as per schedule and contract requirements.

Co-ordinate Completion’s Groups responsibilities for providing "First Fills" of equipment as per schedule and contract requirements.

Overseeing the installation of all mechanical equipment, including organization and monitoring of vendor representatives´ site visits.

Assist contractor with the preparation of method statements to meet permit requirements.

Contact ERS on +44 (0) 1454 203 460  or submit a CV to CV@energyrs.co.uk to register your interest or apply for this position.

Call me a control freak, but when finding myself in flux, I tend to rebel against that uncertainty in the most destructive of ways.  I will force a resolution, doing whatever is necessary to restore the status quo or to bring about circumstances poles apart from the one responsible for the ache in my heart.  In fact, if I knew of a big Fast Forward button in the sky, I would push it.  Hard.  Not to see the future, but to be in the future, past the uncertainty of the moment.

So, I have begged ex-boyfriends to stay and I have quit jobs (not resigned, that's different).  I have thrown myself into new relationships with senseless abandon.  I have discarded friends, without conscience.  I have used sex as a cement (it is a poor one).

Ironically, I do still describe myself as someone who is in tune with my gut.  And I am.  But as you know, hearing and listening are two separate behaviours.  One's gut doesn't always speak what one wants to hear.  Sometimes what it says is so scary that one must run swiftly in any opposite direction.

Of course, it is clear now that no resolution at all was achieved, not in the long term.  I wonder now what the Universe may have had in mind on each of these occasions, had I just taken the time for all to have been revealed. 

Yesterday was a bit of a roller coaster, I received an email from my mom around 1 telling me my grandmother was in the ER with what they believed to be a stroke. Constant updates all day and worrying about my family kind of took its toll on me, and I was relieved later to find out that her tests all came back a-okay, that it was not actually a stroke, and that the doctors were releasing her to go home. Whew. It's kind of a reminder, of sorts to take stock and take note of your blessings. So, I'm tripping over to the corny side and making a list today of what I'm grateful for:

• My grandmother is healthy
• Well, my whole family is healthy for the most part. That's good stuff
• I got my kid potty trained (I set her 3rd birthday as a goal)
• Long hot baths in my big ginormous tub
• My kids make me smile
• My youngest made me laugh so hard last night which made her laugh harder which made me laugh harder - it was hilarious
• My mother's helper is hanging with the kids so I can get work done today (I'm not just blogging - I swear)
• Resolved yucky tense argument with my husband
• Coke Zero
• Warm, not stifling temperatures
• Heath Ledger's kick-ass performance in "Dark Knight" (seriously, better than I'd anticipated - even with all the hype. It's not just hype).
• Super cold water with ice
• Got a magazine in the mail so I can ditch this trashy novel I'm reading
• Saw that WordPress has an iPhone app (yay)
• Counting Crows released a new album on iTunes yesterday of live stuff
• I've managed to avoid buying the new Miley Cyrus cd for my kiddo
• I bought the movie "Juno" on DVD the other day, and plan to watch it til I can't stand it anymore. "Oh my blog!"
• Sent my friend a box of Tootsie Pops and Sharpies for her birthday and she got it already! I love sending presents.

I'm gonna stop. I keep thinking of stuff. Which is good. Very very good.

Our client is seeking a Production Manager to implement and manage tasks as directed by Operations Manager and planning team. To provide management of the process supervisor and process workers within the operational area. To review and approve process and procedural documentation for implementation.

Location

Aldermaston

Salary

Competitive salary depending on qualifications and experience

Job Responsibilities

Accountable for delivery of programme requirements within the Production Area.

Accountable to the Facility Manager for the safe operation and practices within the Area.

To ensure that all operations are conducted safely, to approved procedures and correct behaviours.

To manage the operational interface with Manufacturing Engineering and facility process engineers.

Management of resolution to technical issues relating to Unit manufacture.

Deputise for the Operations Manager in their absence or as otherwise directed.

Management of resolution to technical issues relating to Unit manufacture.

Review and approve process and support documentation as required.

Undertake toolbox talks and staff briefings as required.

Initiate orders for the procurement of equipment and consumables to support production activities.

Please contact ERS on 44 (0) 1454 to register your interest in this position.

To be honest, I didn't expect much support in response to my complaint which I outlined in Tags Gone Wild. But come to think of it, the reason I didn't know what to expect is because I've never had to send in a complaint before. Seven months with WordPress and not a single issue. That says a lot for these guys, in my opinion.

Anyway, I wanted to let everyone know that Nick @ WordPress has been just great about helping with this problem. He's followed up periodically throughout the day and I just received another email from him. He wanted to let me know which of my posts he could still see in the public listings and to ask if I was having trouble with any others. That was very cool!

I appreciate the prompt attention that was given to this matter. They could have easily ignored me, but they took my concern seriously and treated me respectfully. I get the feeling we have a really nice bunch of people behind the scenes here at WordPress!

When it comes to monitors there are many things to consider. I will tell you more than you probably ever wanted to know, at the end of this you will be a monitor expert and know more than almost any clerk at any store you walk in to. It may be a bit long with stick with it, you will be glad you did.

First we will start with the difference between a CRT and a LCD. By now the LCD has won the game for new monitors, but many still debate whether to keep the OLD CRT or to upgrade to the LCD. Well there are many reasons that a LCD is better, the only reason to use a CRT is if you don’t have the money to get a LCD.

But even with that it will still cost you. The average 19” LCD uses only about 50W of power, while the average 19” CRT is over 250W. In Arizona we have cheap power, costing only on average 9 cents per KWH. After taxes and such it is about 12 cents. If you count the heat created by the CRT and the power to cool this heat during the summer you would have to count about 24 cents per KWH during the summer and 12 cents during the winter. This is an average of 18 cents per KWH. A 200 usage will result in 3.6 cents per hour. I use my monitor about 10 hours a day, 7 days a week. That is $2.50 per week. With an average 19” monitor costing less than $170 it would only take 68 weeks for a new 19” LCD to pay for itself. If this is not reason enough to get one then let me give you a few more.

The LCD monitor will take up much less space on your desk.
The LCD monitor will allow you to work longer with less eye strain. Think of a CRT monitor as a particle accelerator aimed at your head.
The LCD monitor has a much crisper picture.
The LCD monitor is much less heavy in case you need to move it.

So now that you see clearly that a LCD is the best choice PLEASE don’t do what most of my customers want to do, they simply select a size and shop for the absolute cheapest LCD of that size. That is a very bad idea. Like anything else you get what you pay for, and in monitors if you pay a bit more you really get a lot extra. Well there are a lot of things to look for.

LCD monitors work by having a white light in the background, then each pixel blocks anywhere from no light to all of the light, it does it in Red, Green and in Blue. So to make purple it will only block the green, red and blue shine through and purple is created. Most LCD monitors can block each color in any of 256 different levels. This gives each pixel 16.8 million different color combos.

Monitors also have different speeds at which they can change these colors. Most are 5ms, meaning 5/100th of a second, or 20 times per second. Most humans can only see about 20-25 updates per second, the older you are the lower this number is. For anything except video or games 5ms is fine, but if you want to have faster refresh rates 2ms is a much better for only a little more money. The eyes of most people can not tell the difference between 2ms and 5ms so don’t get all caught up in this. Beware that some cheap monitors are 8 or even 10ms, this costs them less to make and many unaware customers looking only at price buy these, even people with bad eyes can notice video slowness in these monitors.

As I said there is a white light at the back, if you want great bright graphics you need this light to be brighter. They measure this brightness in cd/m2 which means Candle power per square meter. A rating of 250 cd/m2 would be like having 250 candles in a square meter. For me the higher this rating is the better. If you are in a bright room such as an office you really need to focus on this feature. Again many cheap monitors are in the 200-250 range, simple because it is cheaper and people often only look at price. 300 is actually much nicer and the most popular brightness level, but for a bit more money you can find 400 and 500 cd/m2 models.

Now because your pixels are blocking the light you have to be concerned of how good of a job they are doing. This is called Contrast Ration. 500:1 means that the whitest white is 500 times brighter than the darkest dark. We already know exactly how bright the white is by the brightness measurement so what we really are talking about is how dark the monitor can get. Dark is great for video games, and movies. If you are in a typical office environment just doing normal typical office stuff then forget this number, it means very little to you. But if you want great crisp colors and dark darks in you movie then look for a large ratio. 700:1 and 800: are good and very common, only the cheapest or oldest monitors will have numbers lower than this. 1000:1 is the most common, but 3000:1 is getting very popular among high end quality monitors.

Now you have to decide if you want speakers or not, I have a great set of speakers so I don’t care either way, but for most offices your computer probably does not have speakers. About half of these monitors have at least basic speakers. Because I don’t need them I will look for one without them or one that has them hidden. If you need them you may want to look at the different sound out put but I have found that almost all of them are a very poor 1 to 2 Watts of power.

Now you will see monitors that are grey, or black or silver, even white. For me a black border is by far the best. It is much less distracting to the eyes.

You also need to decide if you want the Widescreen 16:9 ratio or the normal 4:3 ratio. Because the size of the screen is measured diagonally a monitor of the same diagonal size that is 4:3 will be about 10% larger than a widescreen. But if you are watching a movie and 40% of your screen is the black bars on the top and bottom then your movie will be larger on a 16:9. For me I like to have wide screen monitors, because I can then put things side by side. It is better for writing things surfing the web. Humans see much wider than they see high, so it makes sense.

Now you also have the choice of inputs with most nicer LCD monitors. The cheapest ones only have VGA (15-Din), but the nicer ones also offer DVI and recently HDMI. Some even have component input. If your monitor has more than 1 then you usually have a button that lets you select which input you would like to use at any given time, this is useful for the people with more computers than monitors, like techs often are. DVI is digital and if your computer has a DVI out I would look for a DVI monitor for sure, it is much nicer, but if you computer only has VGA then only get DVI if it is free or you are fairly sure you are upgrading soon.

I saved the two most important considerations for last, Size and Resolution. Most people think too much about money and they instantly think that smaller is better, but in todays market a 15” and a 17” screen are the same price, and in many cases the 15” is more money. Also a 19” is often only $20 more than a 17” and a 22” is often only $40 more than the 19”. For most people I suggest a 19” for offices and a 22” for home use. If you use the computer a lot at the office then get the 22”. See you are already paying for the monitor, and if you want to upgrade at a time in the future you will not be able to get the full value for your smaller one, thus it will cost much more to upgrade later than it will to do so today, so buy the size you really want right now.

Next is resolution, this comes back to the eyes question. Most sizes have a resolution that makes up about 90% of the market for that size. Almost all 19” widescreen monitors are 1440x900 while most 22” monitors are 1680x1050. Every now and then you can find monitors for about 20-30% more money that jump to the next level, such as a 1680x1050 for a 19” Monitor. Most monitors are designed for what looks good at that size. I would only suggest someone to go to the higher resolution if they have very good way above average eyesight.

You should always try to run a LCD at the highest resolution that it can support, if you don’t then your images will look very bad. It works like this. If the monitor can display 1280 pixels wide but you select 1024 then that means that 5 pixels in the monitor are trying to display every 4. So they will not line up, it works like this. Imagine pixel 1,2,3,4,5 and data pixels a,b,c,d. Pixel 1 will show the color of a and 25% the color of b. Pixel 2 will show 75% the color of b and 50% the color c. Pixel 3 will be the average of half the color of b and half of c. This is easy math for your computer and monitor but it will make everything look blended and blurry. For all the people who can not see well lowering your resolution will make your screen look even worse than running at the correct resolution and resizing as much as you can to make things larger.

One of the first things that I tell people is to think about their eyes. How large do they like text. Computers today STILL mostly render things based upon resolution. In a dream world you should always run your monitor at the highest resolution, so things would be the most smooth but be able to resize things based upon your taste BUT this is NOT the case. Unfortunately MANY things in computers are still a set number of pixels in size. At least in vista they allow you to change most of your OS to make it larger, you really only have this problem on the web. So if a person with bad vision buys a really large 24” monitor and has a resolution of 1920x1200 and they use that resolution things will still be small, so they sent the resolution to something like 1280x768, now things are only about half as crisp and clear as they should be, there is no winning this game. They could always use the zoom feature of their OS but that is not very user friendly. I hope they fix this problem but I don’t see this ever being fixed.

Last, monitors die sometimes, also they often have dead pixels, a pixels that will not change to the correct color all of the time. Most of these are covered under warranty, but many companies will not return a monitor unless it has at least 6 or 8 dead pixels. You want to be clear of this before you buy. And if you are buying a really cheap monitor then test it before you leave the store. Almost every year a new company starts up and dumps a ton of cheap monitors on the market, they sell millions of units promising a 3 or even 5 year warranty, then after a year they go out of business, change the name on all the boxes and do it all over again. Now there are some really good quality monitors from companies you may never have heard of, just because you have not heard of them does not mean that they are not good, but if an expert has not heard of them beware. We currently sell Hanns-G for many of our mid range monitors and we sell Samsung or Viewsonic for our high end monitors. We have had great experiences with all three of these. We have had bad luck with KDS, Acer and a few other brands that are now gone.

So bottom line, think about what your needs are. Don’t shop for the cheapest. If you have more questions then contact me, I will be happy to help you select your monitor, and I will probably be able to find a much better one at a better price than you ever thought.

This ended up being much longer than I thought, thanks for reading all of it, please forward this to anyone you know who is thinking of getting a new monitor, they will be happy you did. Leave a comment if you liked this blog.

Dalam perkembangannya, teknologi kamera digital mengalami perkembangan yang amat pesat.
Dalam dunia imaging dan kamera digital, seringkali terlintas istilah PIXEL. Berapa megapixel (mp) kemampuan rekam kamera anda ? 3mp, 6mp, 10mp, 12 mp?
Mungkin dalam perbincangan sering kita mendengar " Jangan beli kamera yang mp nya kecil, hasil gambarnya jelek. beli yang lebih besar, lebih bagus, lebih tajam ". Hm, benarkah demikian ?
Apa sebenarnya pixel itu? Saya tidak akan membahasnya terlalu detail, terlalu teknis dan memusingkan bagi kita. We are end user, not developer scientist right ? All we have to do is enjoying the product they've created.
Singkatnya, pixel itu = titik. Ya, titik. Meski bila dicermati bentuknya tidak bundar, tapi persegi. ada yang segi empat, ada yang segi enam sarang tawon.Pernah lihat teknik melukis dengan cara membuat ribuan titik titik yang akhirnya membentuk suatu gambar? Semakin rapat titik titik, semakin halus dan presisi lukisan yang dihasilkan. Seperti itulah cara kamera digital memproses gambar sehingga menjadi foto yang kita lihat.
Jadi betul donk, harus beli kamera yang resolusi pixelnya tinggi kalau mau image yang tajam dan bagus?
Betul, kalau anda ingin melihat hasil foto anda tetap tajam walau dizoom sampai sebesar papan iklan raksasa di tepi jalan.
Pertanyaannya? monitor sebesar apa yang anda bisa pakai untuk hal itu? Berapa besar ukuran monitor anda sekarang? 17inch, 21inch, atau mungkin 32inch? rasanya saat menatap layar komputer, dalam jarak 50 cm, mata anda tidak akan bisa mengcover seluruh bidang monitor lebih dari 21 inch.
Mata kita merupakan lensa yang sempurna, namun teknik digital bisa 'menipu' mata kita. Ada batasan dimana mata kita tidak mampu membedakan 2 gambar yang dihasilkan dengan resolusi yang berbeda. Semakin kecil bidang gambar, semakin sulit membedakan kualitas dari 2 gambar digital yang berbeda resolusinya. Apalagi bila telah dicetak dalam ukuran yang umum (postcard atau A4).

Hal lain adalah pengaruhnya pada saat melakukan saving image. Image dengan resolusi lebih tinggi tentunya memerlukan waktu saving lebih lama. Tahukah anda bahwa pada saat kita melakukan continuos shoot (foto secara simultan dalam satu detik), kebanyakan system kamera akan secara otomatis mengurangi settingan resolusinya ke tingkat yang bisa mendukung kecepatan yang dijanjikan. Misalnya dijanjikan bahwa kamera anda yg mempunyai resolusi maksimal 12 mp mampu melakukan continous shoot 5fps (5 frame image per detik). Silahkan cek di manual booknya, apakah 5fps tsb mampu dilakukan dengan settingan resolusi tertinggi 12mp? Sebagai referensi, Nikon D3 yang merupakan salah satu top level kamera DSLR Nikon saat ini, tentunya dengan harga selangit, berkemampuan 12mp. Dan mampu melakukan continous shoot sampai 11 fps! Luar biasa! TAPI, dengan catatan, resolusi diturunkan menjadi 5mp.
Kalau kamera high end saja begitu, apalagi kamera mid level / low level yang dimiliki kebanyakan orang?
Ada sebagian kalangan yang memandang perlu resolusi tinggi untuk keperluan cropping image, yaitu mengambil image yang diperlukan saja dari sebuah foto, tanpa menurunkan kualitasnya. Well, bagi saya 6mp tetap bisa menjaga hasil cropping. Lagipula, bila ingin dapat detail untuk suatu objek, do the macro thing! Buat apa ada fungsi makro di kamera digital?
Personally, bagi saya yang bukan kalangan profesional, yang hanya melihat hasil foto di layar pc berukuran 17inch, kamera 6mp sudah sangat menyenangkan baik secara performa maupun kualitas hasil fotonya. Selisih 2 juta sampai 3 juta antara kamera beresolusi 6mp dengan 10mp rasanya lebih baik digunakan untuk membeli peralatan lain, seperti lensa dan flash.

Jadi, masih perlukah kamera 10mp kalau nantinya hanya mencetak foto ukuran postcard atau A4?

I finally got what I was looking for. Not face-to-face closure, and not reciprocation. I got a thank you. There was no apology, no empty words, no regret or wistfulness. It was a genuine, straightforward appreciation. I could paraphrase. The words took me by such surprise.

When everyone else left, you were still there. You tried so hard. You gave me everything, and I don't understand why, but it meant a lot to me. Thank you.

Saying you're welcome in Spanish translates loosely as of (or it is) nothing. It is nothing. In retrospect, I think all we need is a good thank you. Thinking back, I would have traded difficult times, obstacles, stress, heartache, for that recognition of my efforts. A simple tip of the hat will do, you know what I mean?

As my head calmly reminds me of all that has brought me to this point - the broken promises, the unreturned efforts, the special loneliness one can only feel within a relationship - with a quiet assurance that comes from much reflection, my heart squawks in protest.  For my heart knows that the consequence of stepping away from ‘love' (and love) is never finding it again.  Ever.  My heart visualises the inevitable nights filled only with cats.  My head repeats, "You're being ridiculous".  And, "You need this".  And, "Be brave".

I don't want my blog to become a forum for unrepentant ranting (there are enough of those), so I'm not going to provide lurid details of the years, months and weeks that have resulted in my being single at 27.  Instead of almost married at 27.  I don't think there is an honest story left anyway.  Bias and hurt and resentment do that.  Unbinding me includes letting go of those details.

I'm choosing to focus on the bits that swing me towards feeling strangely liberated.  I will inch back towards the happy space in which my humour and creativity reside.  I am determined to retrieve the parts of my soul that I have sacrificed to the last three years.  I refuse to shave my legs unless I really, really want to.  I will date.  I will be a rock star at work.  I will cook myself dinner, or at least, buy healthy take-aways.  I resolve to live in my city instead of just exist in it.  Perhaps, just maybe, I will even re-arrange my bedroom cupboards.

I need this.  I will be brave.

Picture courtesy of Duke LeNoir

Lest I be branded cruel and unjust, recognition is, well… recognized. And if you think you need improvement, you’re right. Go ahead. Do something. Take action. After all, you are what you think you are – and yes, you are a slob, to be perfectly honest about it – so why not do something then?

But let’s face it. We’ve been at this for quite some time now that it’s become tiring. At this point, the excuses have all been heard, digested and analyzed; and time and time again, it’s never made any sense. That recognition’s never led to resolution, much less, obviously, to taking some form of action. Then again, it doesn’t really matter. And neither does the two-part response that’s been left unspoken.

Maybe there’s just nothing more to say. Or perhaps, as with the passing argument with the jeepney driver charging me with seven pesos despite not having a legitimate fare matrix the other night, well, it’s just not worth it. So although there’s just this one five-word message that managed to get through, for once, I’m not wondering why I’m not as straight-to-the-point about the whole thing as I should be. After all, the thing with someone being overly speculative and, should I say, being too eager with his own defense is that he somehow gets to put just one word on this gigantic megaphone without you even doing anything: guilty.

So yes, if you’ll ask me, in the end, it’s not a matter of belief or mind reading or self pity or whatever. It’s what you do with it – or don’t – that makes the difference. Granted, constantly submitting to the whims of someone else to please others is never a good thing. Then again, if forty other people have tried to tell you that you’re just this insufferable bum, don’t you think it merits a long, hard look?

After all, try as I might to avoid the cliché, I find nothing else summarizes the whole crisis more powerfully. Actions do speak louder than words. And unless there's none of that, all you'll have at the end of the day is your own stagnation to deal with.

I mean, If you truly believe that. I do.

The PM took a few of us out for drinks.  It was great to sit, talk, relax and celebrate!  I've been invited back for the wrap up meeting, to teach and advise on video software and a process they can use for their newsletters, and for the celebration dinner sometime within the next few weeks.  Awesome!

In the field across the way there is a family or a bunch of families that seem to be playing cricket.  I don't really know if that's what it is, but they are playing something that looks like baseball but with a flat paddle thing and the pitcher is throwing the ball REALLY fast, underhand.  The kids attached to this group are the ones that asked the morsel if they could "ride her kite" a few months back when we were flying her kite in the field.  It was interesting and funny, the mistake in language and the awesome implication that they were going to ride the kite.

I talked to D1 tonight.  It was great to catch up, discuss things, plans, future, inspire each other and reflect on how things are going. He's sick, at home.  We talk about his getting out of his job, about options, goals.  We pump each other up and validate each other's skills and efforts.

And I looked again, for the missing sofware, After Effects, which I needed for a gig on Wednesday but had to turn down (for want of the software...)  And there it was!  Hidden from me by me, in a strange box in storage.  It should allow for some really great jobs here in the near future.

My acupuncturist was painting her attic when I called for an appointment yesterday, saying she would call me back to schedule.  I got a voice mail today telling me that she was now in Disneyland, and would call me when she got back to Seattle.  Funny, no?  I love it.  She's a very measured and careful person, so I'm actually enjoying this bit of silliness from her.  I hope it frees her in ways that she likes.

Tonight, after my one small glass of pinot noir, I almost started telling my companions about my blog.  I wanted to share some of the good parts but then realized I would be compromising my ability to disclose things from afar.  Darn.

I survived this week and not only that but it turned out well.  I'm spoiled by always having success, and think maybe this was a good lesson that it seemed that it wasn't going to work out.  That I'm not always going to be the rockstar and that there are so many possibilities.  But to tell you the truth, I don't really buy THAT either.  I always think there is a way.  Always.  I just can't see myself giving up.

This weekend is the family reunion with many people arriving from the East Coast.  I'm tired and don't want to attend.  I played hooky tonight but should go tomorrow.  There are times when an absence is to much worse than attending and having nothing to offer.

Last night in school, after a hard day, hard week, I felt as if I was stupid to even be trying to design, to start a company, to make a line of clothes.  I felt old and that it was too late.  The other girls were great, pointing out that there were many haute couture ladies who were 42, 56 when they started.  It's true, I know.  But I was feeling fragile and overwhelmed.

The sidewalk at the bus stop smelled like summer.  Dirt and heat, the smell of weeds and the air didn't move.  It felt freeing to prop against the little wall with the other women, waiting.  Ease and sun, exhausted and relieved.

there are some things i want to add to myself and some i want to remove from myself...

i want to be more regular and more concerned about my studies... i want to give time to Allah ... i want to read Quran as regularly as possible...

i want to be more careful about my health... i want to loose weight...

i know i can achieve these things but i have not started them...

first step is the key... inshAllah i will take the first step today...

May Allah help me in my journey...

Leaving the tap (faucet) open when you brush your teeth in the morning results in a wastage of 7 to 12 litres of unused water per minute. 7 to 12 litres per minute. That is how much water we need to drink in a day. Add to that other stuff that you do in the morning where you leave the tap running: shaving, combing your hair, etc, and you get a figure that is absolutely ming-boggling.

Resolution:

I will turn off the tap when I am not using it and will turn it on only when I need it. For shaving, I will fill water in a mug and use that instead of rinsing everything under a tap.

FACT: The body can only process about 350-calories an hour.

Googling through runners and running articles, my head nods with conviction as I have gone experienced few indicators lately on my run that hence leads to lack of hydration not just core preparation.

Let me share to you interesting facts which I'm sure ALL OF US will benefit.

The following five points are hydration and electrolyte problems (Karl King Ultrarunning Magazine analysis, matrix and format May, 2007)

1) Low on fluids and possibly electrolytes.

Symptoms: Plunging weight, lightheaded, shortness of breath, stop and go slower and wobbly pace, urine is yellow and sparse. Hint: Severe dehydration; the worst case scenario.

Solution: Consume liquids immediately. Further deterioration leads to dizzy spells, rust colored urine, fainting and hours of down time, which could lead to the ugly DNF; and will if an IV is used.

*** Immediate indication of dehydration: Squeeze all your toes together for five seconds. If they spring back you are OK. If they stay curled or curl up more you are dehydrating and need to remedy ASAP.

2) Low on electrolytes but fluids are okay.

Symptoms: Horrible cramping begins. Wham! They strike incredibly fast and are generally severe. You wind up on the ground curled up like a pretzel. Weight, urine output and color had been okay? Hint: You need electrolytes.

Solution: Immediately start replacing with S!Caps, Endurolytes, salt tablets, etc. Don’t lay there. Get up and start moving at an easy pace. In less than an hour the sodium level will balance and the cramping will subside. Yeah!

3) Too much water and electrolytes are okay.

Symptoms: The stomach begins to bloat (easy to spot as you begin to look pregnant) and urine output is normal and clear. Weight is up a few pounds and you feel a bit sluggish. Oops, I have gone to the starting line in this condition!

Solution: Correct this very common over-hydration condition by drinking less (until weight is normal). Drinking more fluids may lead to the next problem.

4) Too much water and low electrolytes.

Symptoms: The stomach looks like a water-filled balloon, there if puffiness in your extremities, your weight is way up, and at times there is excessive clear urination. You are sluggish and performance suffers because you have to stop to water the cactus every five minutes. Hint: You are super-hydrated.

Solution: Boost electrolytes and forget the fluids until your weight is normal. This may take several hours or more!

5) Too much water and high electrolytes.

Symptoms: You look and feel like the Pillsbury doughboy. Weight is much too high, the stomach is bloated and all the extremities are really swollen. Urine output is clear and sparse. You are sluggish and your performance is suffering dramatically. Hint: You are maxed out with water and sodium.

Solution: Stop fluid and electrolyte intake until you’re weight normalizes, which may take hours or days.

My trainings and mileage may not yet have reached half-marathons nor near 10k or 50k races but the advice of taking Half the mileage route is much more helpful once you attend on the flats and half in the hills. Do daily core strengthening and stretching workouts (at a fitness center) and cross train with long bike rides. (oh shoot. I hate hate doing such but I really have to get into such for maximum runners results)

Runners who intend to increase their mileage and reach through heights of distance should have this stamina and confidence boosting training regimen that may seem extreme; So, having 100 miles a week is plausible? Yes, even 120 mileage or more but It'll take sometime not overnight.

I don't recall Forest Gump training ever and thought through proper nutrition except for his anti-oxidant, Does that box of chocolate ring a bell?

But enough with the whining. I only have myself to blame, and there’s no fun in that! I think I’m at the point of my life where I have to do something to change the direction of where I’m going. I don’t want to end up old and bitter at the same time. I can’t do anything about getting old except plastic surgery, but I definitely can do something about the other part if only I have the guts to get out of my comfort zone.

Am I ready? There’s only one way to find out! First thing is to stop being so weak-hearted about this and try to have a bit of gumption! Hmm, now what can I do?

I think… I’ll start by joining a gym! I know, I know, it’s not as exciting as bungee jumping or white water rafting. But for a woman who thinks walking around the mall is enough exercise for anyone, I think I can be forgiven. Well, if my aim is to enrich my life, what better way to start than with my health. Am I right? Otherwise, I might not be able to do anything if I’m always out of breath.

Small steps, I believe, is the key to get where I want to go without losing my nerve.

Let it suffice to say, Lottie addressed one of the difficult questions/subjects -- and some found certain comments offensive because they inferred that they meant/could mean that a particular victim was somehow, partially or otherwise, to blame for what happened to them.

Although I was reluctant to get into the debate -- because, admittedly, it was not an area that I have any real experience in -- it brought to mind something that I had to write about in Children of the Resolution. Heavily autobiographical, I had to deal with my experience of the bullying of disabled children in integrated education during the 1970s and 1980s. Carl, my protagonist and, in effect, the me-guy, stated very emphatically that he'd never been bullied and that, in his experience, the bullying he had seen had had very little to do with actual disability. He was very quick to say that he'd never bought the victim explanation, that some people just naturally attract bullies. It is too simplistic for him. But he did stipulate in no uncertain terms that the reaction of the person being bullied decided whether the bullying continued. Carl was lucky. He acknowledges this and the complexity of the issue and its various scenarios. He'd always been able, even though he's in a wheelchair, to stand up for himself (pun intended.) He'd never been bullied, but they had tried.

It was a difficult piece to write, not least because I knew that a very good (able-bodied) friend who was reading it at the time had had a pretty unrelenting bullying experience. I was afraid of what reactions I might get but she at least understood the point and agreed with it.

Nobody could ever seriously blame a victim. And I for one would never want it to be thought that I was. But if we are to ever understand the complex dynamics at work in these kinds of relationships, we have to be prepared to ask and be asked the difficult questions. Questions of this kind are not (at least from intelligent, caring human beings) about apportioning blame, they are about finding a way to empower the victim. If we understand, we can fix (possibly.) Gagging people, holding personal offence up as a reason for not addressing serious points that taken objectively aren't offensive, solves nothing.

So let's keep asking the difficult questions, even if some people might not want to hear them. Maybe we'll find the answers, maybe we won't. I don't know. But at least we'll have tried.

Guitar Guy is starting to seriously piss me off.

I mean, okay, as a person, I'm generally pissed off by at least a few things at any given time, but this is ridiculous.  The man is managing to both validate me and try to reject me at the same time, and unless I can repeatedly slap him or (preferably) get him into a dark corner and have my wicked way with him, I see no obvious resolution before my departure for the motherland.

Last night, work seeming futile because one of our rare, all-day Florida thunderstorms was in the works (usually there's 20 minutes of apocalyptic downpour, complete with hail and lightening, and then we're back to tropical blue skies with very little fuss), we all went in with low expectations for business and a laid back demeanor.

While chatting at the bar with my roommate and the hot gay bartender about his recent tryst with an ex, whom he now knows is in a relationship, I pointed out to him that his ex's new beau is in no way his responsibility.  To which the roommate responded, laughingly, "Yeah, this from the girl who wants to hook up with someone in a --."

And then we were cut off.  By Guitar Guy.  Rounding the corner.  Awkward.  He definitely knew something was up as we all fell silent and looked at him expectantly until he expressed a want for a bottle of water, which I was made to retrieve.

Anyway, as the night progressed, Guitar Guy continued his futile attempts to distance himself from me, by trying to not let me catch him watching me.  Now, okay, honestly, Guitar Guy, if you're really trying to distance yourself, wouldn't you just stop staring all together?

It got so ridiculous that, not only were other co-workers noticing, with laughs, that as soon as I'd glance at the stage, he'd quickly jerk his focus down to the floor and stay there for several minutes, but guests started to pick up on it too.

Around 2/3 of the way through the night, he almost slammed into me as I turned away from a table, and he quickly said he was sorry.  I'm not sure why, but my reply was a snippy, "Are you?"

I'm not sure why I said it.  All I know is that as I walked away, I heard him say "Yes?" in a puzzled sort of way.

I guess I should be over it, and maybe I would be if he weren't so cripplingly touchable, and if there weren't these moments that broke away from the irritation.  Last night, for example, after ringing in another 17 beers for my drunken table of Brits, I turned from the computer to search for someone to help me take down some garbage bags, and unexpectedly caught his eye, as he'd been intently watching me from the stage.

The song being performed at the moment was "I can't make you love me," which, while lyrically inappropriate, was tonally just fine.

My smile immediately slipped from my face and we remained trained on each other for a good fifteen seconds or so until, though it seemed to pain him, he forced himself to look away.  I was unexpectedly jolted by this, deep in my stomach, and I'm not really sure what it means.  The moment itself was intense beyond description.

Aside from getting a light up tee shirt that flashes the word "Sex?" when I push a button and using it on him every time no one else is looking until he cracks, I can't think of a good way to resolve this in a quick and efficient manner.

He needs to get out of his relationship, as it clearly isn't fulfilling him.  And then he needs to come over, and fulfill me.