however, i will say that it seriously sucks going through one's menstrual cycle.

for those 5-7 weeks, it is just terrible.

not only is there the constant bleeding involved, but it also comes with stomach pains, bloating, and the overall feeling of ickyness.
so you may think: eh, not too bad.
then i will ask you this question: do you know what it feels like to constantly be paranoid about whether or not you will bleed through your pants/skirt/dress because you forgot to bring that extra pad/tampon and there is no way of getting a hold of either one in the next few hours?
have you ever had an accident like that ever happen to you and have not been able to somewhat discreetly cover it up (even though there really isnt any possible way to do so anyway)

when girls say that they feel "bloated". it means that there stomachs literally do kind of puff up and it seriously affects them when they try to wear those jeans that just came out of the dryer.
have you ever thought that you wouldnt be able to get out of bed because your stomach hurt so much? and then those cramps reoccurred throughout the rest of the day for a week and you cant just stay in bed because you have to go to work/school/do stuff?
do you ever have to tell your friends that you cannot go to that waterpark or swimming marathon with them because it is your second day on your period (which is kind one of the heaviest days)?
have you ever been asked by one of your friends "is it that time of month?" or "are you on your period?" just because you snapped back at them and NO, YOU WERE NOT ON YOUR PERIOD. a girl has a right to get mad too.
have you ever been so irregualar that you never know when you are going to get your period and are basically left helpless in mother nature's hands?
I HAVE, AND PROBABLY MORE...(uhh, too much info eh?) anyway, i could seriously go on. but i wont because i kind of want to start a slightly different sub-topic.

i think that the physical pains that women feel during their menstrual cycle is just prepping them for the big one. yes, actually giving birth.
the terrible stomachaches that women go through is to train them so that when they are going through actual labor pains, it wont be as bad. or at least the pregnant women will be able to brace themselves and sort of comfort themselves knowing that this is the moment theyve been training for ever since they were 14 years old.
um...unless labor pains are totally wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy different and 289349823 x's more painful. then that just sucks.

okay i am done.

by the way, i dont understand why guys get all uncomfortable over topics like menstruation. if you like girls, and you want to get a girlfriend/married, you have to understand that your significant other goes through that every month so you should just get used to it.

and if you get uncomfortable just over that, how the heck do you plan on being able to openly take a huge dump in the bathroom and consciously know that your girlfriend/wife also knows that as well? you cant be embarressed about stuff like that because it's natural.

To become a great school, the school should try to offer programs like night school, or G.E.D programs, for those students who want to graduate from high school, but cannot make it day school whether they have become seriously ill or  have to work daytime jobs in order to support there life.  Most school’s offer a summer school program, which personally i feel is great. If a student needs more academic help, then they should be able to get that extended summer school help.

To become a great school, I think the school needs to be open to new ideas and suggestions. I think they need to listen to what there students have to say, know matter what it is, or how important it is to you. No student should be tossed aside like a piece of trash. Now trash may be a bit of a strong word to use, it’s definitely wasn’t my first word of choice, but i thought it was school appropriate.  I do not believe a student should be kicked out of a classroom for disrupting a class because they are bored, being loud or do not understand the lesson the teacher is trying to explain. The teacher should take the time to listen to the disruptive student, and here there explanation for why they are acting the way they are. Maybe the student disagrees with your teaching style; maybe the student has no idea how you solved that equation or how you translated a sentence in Spanish. Maybe that student learns differently from the way you teach.  The teacher should take the time to listen to the student and try to understand them better; so that way eventually they will be able to focus on their education, and improve there grades. Students should be taught in a comfortable class room setting. Maybe outside a discussion group or somewhere were the atmosphere is good for everyone.
The requirements for graduation should be the four main basic classes that the school says you need in order to lead an adult life. Like in math, english, history, and science.  Once you have completed those classes than I think the students should have more chances to take the courses they want to take. The school should definitely offer more elective classes. We want to learn more, we need a bigger variety.

Pretty much, that’s all I have to say for now. :]

So jot me a response sometime if you actually do any of these things.....

I had a pretty good Wednesday. It's that time of the month for me, so....... I need a little humor. Enjoy......

1. Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

A Fab Woman

But nope, not me.  Apparently since losing the babies, my body has decided to have 26 day periods, a couple of 32 day periods; not the usual 28 day regular periods that I used to be able to set a clock to.  Aunt Flo just comes and goes whenever she pleases, breezing in and out like a crimson tide.  So I get to sit here and hope and pray that I am pregnant and then the day that I miss my period, I run out and buy a test and when it's negative, plunge into a downward spiral.  Disappointment sets in and I get to wait for the inevitable cramping and bleeding.  I'm cranky and mean because I'm sad and disappointed that I have to wait another month.  I'm confused as to why it was so easy last time and worried that I am doing something wrong this time.  I'm fearful that it's never going to happen.  I'm mad at myself for being so quick to lose hope.

Basically, I'm in Baby Limbo and it really sucks.

BTW, did you know that Sarah Palin's 17 year old daughter is pregnant?  I know, it was a shock to me the first 500 times I heard it.  Just what I really want to hear on an hourly and sometimes minute by minute basis.  Not only can I not go into Target now but I can't turn on NPR or CNN without being reminded that I shouldn't have wait to have my children until the ripe old age of 33.  I should have bailed on college and law school and started my family early.  Instead, I get to be reminded every month that I have aging eggs and get to listen to people talk about how "brave" Bristol Palin is for having her baby.  What the hell?  Brave?  Brave are the women who have lost babies, had many, many rounds of fertility treatments and still, everyday hope and pray for a baby.  Brave is the girl who knows she can't care for a child and makes the best decision she can for herself and her baby.  That's brave.  Political Panda out.

And to all that I say: Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala. In other words, I don't want to hear about it, okay? When did menstruation, or the lack thereof, get to be polite conversation? I guess around the time they started running ads for tampons on prime time TV. But to me it's just, ew, gross.

What's so interesting about menopause, anyway? What is this wisdom they keep talking about, this freedom, this huge change that demands hormones or maybe not hormones -- sorry, I can't keep track. The only thing more boring and unseemly than discussing getting your period is, it seems to me, discussing not getting your period.

Some of you might say my feeling on this issue is old, and that the modern stance is to be openly affirmational about the feminine circle of life. Well, I can get all woman-y with the best of them, girlfriend, but I still say keep the whole blood in your cooter thing to yourself.

On that note, I'll change the subject to something younger: cool music. I have no idea what group or song this is, but the video got millions of views on YouTube and it features thematically-related red flags. At least I guarantee it will be more educational and entertaining than hearing about anyone's adventures in menopause

Let's just hope your desk doesn't look like this after an extra day off...

My day went pretty well. I did some work around the house.

I have had a head ache for the past few days off and on. It's soon that wonderful time of the month us women just simply love. The time when us women turn from the beautiful creatures we are, to sometimes crazy obsessed not so pretty creatures......

Anyway hope you had a Happy Tuesday. I went surfing the net and came across these pictures. I am amazed on the funny pictures I find....So enjoy....

[gallery]

Lady O

Men are not going to be able to relate to this at all and I apologize ahead of time. But gain an understanding, if you will.

Heartache, heartbreak, whatever you want to call it, is just like when a female gets her period. Heartache will probably stay with you forever until you eventually learn to deal with it and file it away or it dissipates over a GREAT amount of time. Kinda like when you have your period for 40+ years and then menopause stops all that shit. LMFAO. Ok ... no. Seriously. Depending on how long your cycle is and what your threshold for pain is, this can also be applied to how well you deal with your heart being broken.

Let's put it out there. I have a 3-5 day cycle. (Well the days I actually menstruate.) It used to be 7 but it's slowly dwindled down to 3-5 days. ANYWAY, when I look back to the few times I've had my heart broken I've realized I only need 3-5 days to be functionally ok. The first day or two are usually the worst. Really uncomfortable. The pain is unbearable. You get that "I just wanna lay here in bed all day" attitude and nothing matters except for the time when the pain will stop. After that initial pain, you just realize the period is an annoyance and so are these feelings of depression and despair. You no longer want to cry you just want it to be over. No more tampons, panty liners or pads. (If you are having trouble following me, it's ok. Don't worry about all that hahaha.)

Once you are done menstruating you'll say: "Man oh man! I was such an idiot, such a pussy (pun not intended) to be crying and holding my tummy so long! That's two days wasted!" You'll probably call yourself a loser and vow to be stronger next time and not waste your days laying in bed and crying and begging for a hot water bottle.

Anyway. What I'm saying is this. The first few days after a break up will always be the worst. I tend to need a good 3 days before I can hold my head up high again, smile, laugh and my every thought isn't consumed by the break up. I think that's a good and healthy amount of time. Once I get through those few days I'm ok. I'm not FINE or BETTER but I'm OK. The long healing process takes much longer of course. 3 days is a good time frame. Always try to break up on a Friday, ha! Once those 3 days come and go, I'm able to go on about my day and not make that connection with "him" through songs or words or ideas or memories. I can hear or see something and not want to break down. Only takes me a couple days. But it used to take me much longer. Sad to say, but maybe I've become used to having my heart broken.

Heartbreak stays with you and makes you cautious and hesitant for the next time around. That in itself is almost a damn shame because you can't really know what is what and who is who so you don't really put yourself out there. And you don't really trust anyone the same way, either. BUT, in spite of all that, you know that you have to do better to take care of yourself.

Ladies, when a man breaks your heart, it's hard to not show it and be vulnerable. You want to talk to him and hold him and yell at him and kiss him and slap him and see him. All these riled up, confusing emotions. But you know what? Never make it about him. Make it about you. Don't let a man see that vulnerability. I'm speaking from experience. When you show that side of you, they don't care. At all. They just blink two times and turn their face. And then they focus their attention on other females. Almost immediately. So, I say do the same.

The best thing to do is focus on family first, then your friends, then your work and if nothing else fails: focus on another man. I recommend that last because you put yourself and the dude in a bad position but it DOES work. I won't lie.

And know above ALL else. You are NOBODY'S fool. Don't give anyone the benefit to sit there and see how much you love and miss them if they can't even say the same back. They don't care so why should you? Be strong, hold your head up high and do you. Always. Because you come first. And the only person that matters right now is #1.

#1 will never let you down. #1 will always have your best interest at heart. Even when Midol and herbal tea aren't doing shit for your recovery ;)

I started earlyish.  Around 9am.  Just me and my dog and my Garmin 405 (I don't leave home without it).  I left the Ipod at home.  I didn't feel like having it around my head, getting all sweaty and getting caught in the wires, and having the wires get yanked out the bottom and then it stops and I have to plug it back in.  I couldn't be bothered today.  I was focused on finishing.  I had a goal of doing it in 10 minute miles.  BUT, I really didn't care.

I didn't have a running belt with water bottles (the next thing on my wish list - hey!  I thought all you needed was a pair of sneakers and shorts, nope, this running thing is getting mighty expensive)  so I planned my route around the known fountains. At mile 4, I ran right into the "Nike Race for Human Race."  There were even little cups of water at a stand.  I was tempted to take a cup.  I mean I was racing, I love humans.  But,   I didn't.   I went to the water fountain instead, took a gulp, gave water to my dog and moved on.

There was a male runner ahead of me at about mile 5 and we were waiting at the light.  (I love lights because you HAVE to stop and wait for traffic....yay!)  We started out when the light turned green and he was ahead of me-of course.  That's not unusual.  What was unusual was that he kept looking back.  He looked as if to see whether I was catching up.  Ya OK.  Do I look like I am competing guy?  For about a minute I matched his steps with mine, and I noticed that when I did that I got even further behind him.  His stride was longer and I actually had to take more steps to keep up with him.  So in reality I am actually a better runner.  Ha, well I let myself think that anyway.  Soon, he was just a speck in the distance.

At around mile 10 I encountered a problem. Before that, I stopped 2 more times, once to get water and once to let my dog poop.  I don't count the times I wait blissfully at the lights - those are just bonus stops.  All of a sudden, I had an incredible, I mean incredible urge to use the bathroom.  I thought I was going to pee my pants.  Seriously.  I knew where there was another restroom and I hoped to hold until there.  All of a sudden, I guess I wasn't really paying attention and lost my bearings, and I ended up at the Nature Center, which was closed.  Now, where was I going to go?   I eventually had to run this way but I was going to wait until I was relieved.  So, I am stuck in no mans land and I had no choice but to run  to the park with the restrooms.  I felt like a ball was pressing down on my bladder.  I didn't want to walk because of my time.  (Don't ask me why I cared, I don't know why.)  So, every step was agony, running, holding, running, holding, running, holding.  If you have ever done that, you know that how obsessed your mind becomes about just wanting to let it all go, and release that pent up fluid and be freeeeeeeee.  I was so tempted.  I wish I was a guy who could just whip it out behind a tree and be done with it.  I do not like crouching in the woods, especially since they are public.  And with my luck I would end up with poison ivy or something equally as undesirable. I finally reach my destination.

I didn't even tie my dog up. No time.  I took him right in there with me.   I WAS DESPERATE!!!  I sat down.  Three drops came out.  NO KIDDING.  What the @%#&?  All that agony for three drops.  I wash up and the pressure was still there.

I had 2 miles left.  I tookmy dog to his favorite swimming hole and let him swim for a couple of minutes.  I had 1 mile left.  (As you can see I take a lot of breaks- my goal is to finish a  marathon, I didn't say I wasn't going to stop in between).  As I ran home, I was now thinking that I might  have cancer or something.  The pressure on my bladder was still intense   I was so thirsty ( I need a running belt).  My mind had no distractions but to focus on the fact that I had to go pee but I didn't have to go pee.  I played tricks with myself and just said let it go.  But nothing happened.  Now I was convinced something's wrong with me.  Running  jarred something loose in my body and now I was dying. Great.  I wouldn't  even be able to finish this damn marathon before I croaked. Finally, the 14 miles showed up on my Garmin, and I thankfully stop the timer and walk the rest of the 3/4 of a mile home.

I got home.  I ran to the privacy of my commode. Perhaps it was just the anxiety of being in a public restroom.  You know what I am talking about don't you?  It's just not as comfortable.   everything just work sbetter in your own bathroom. And finally, in the comfort of home, I find the cause of my pain.  Let's just say my next move was to the medicine cabinet for some Midol.

*** WARNING - I NEED TO VENT ABOUT THE WOMANLY TOPIC OF PERIODS ***

For the last couple years, I've been taking my birth control pill consistantly so that I never get my period... Besides last Christmas, when my Mom convinced me for a brief moment that this practice was unnatural and unwomanly, I have been blissfully period free.

In the last couple weeks, however, even though I am still on the pill I have been feeling twangs - wicked ass cramps... and now it is as if my body is saying a big "fuck you" to me... followed by "you cannot avoid me (your womanly curse) forever"  

It is sooooo painful. After eight months of blissfull period-free freedom... Here I am, feeling like I want to rip heads off of flowers, yell and scream at kittens, squish unassuming ants, and perform other such unjustified acts of aggression.

I have no energy.

I don't feel like talking.

I don't feel like socializing.

I just got my period tonight, so maybe I am on the upswing???  Maybe tomorrow I will be more sociable and energetic...

Okay, I feel better now that I have vented.

Kicks: Violence, Sadism and Masochism, Dominance and Submission, Rape, Sexual slavery, Whipping, Smacking, Romance, Period

In the early 1980s Anne Rice wrote an "erotic trilogy" based on the Sleeping Beauty story by Charles Perrault (more recently redone by Disney) under the pseudonym A.N. Roquelaure. I read the first book and quite enjoyed it, though it took me a while to get around to buying the rest of the trilogy... The three books make a sturdy set, I was excited at the prospect of an erotic story that spanned more than a short story, the potentials of a longer story were very exciting! The idea of reworking a fairytale as an erotic story was also very intriguing (what other fairytales would work?!) and really when you think about it Sleeping Beauty is a pretty fucked up story. That said, Rice takes Perrault's themes of male dominance and feminine submission to a whole new level. This is a bed time story for adults only! It's through line is the joy of submission, and it is full of rape, violence and humiliation. The story is mostly from the point of view of Beauty, as well as other sex slaves of the Prince's kingdom.

The first of the trilogy, "The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty", begins with the handsome prince awaking Beauty and her kingdom from their extended slumber with quite a bit more than the true love's kiss that was all Disney required. The beginning is very voyeuristic from the Prince's point of view. His description of the sleeping Beauty are a little creepy, ie: "He cut her sleeves away, lifting her ever so gently to free the cloth, and the weight of her hair seemed to pull her head down over his arms, and her mouth opened just a little bit wider". However, once the story focuses on Beauty's point of view it really picks up. The prince takes Beauty back to his kingdom and trains her up as his pet sex slave. However, Beauty is unfulfilled and her attention is caught by another slave, the Queen's favourite no less! But even Prince Alexia does not quell her rebellious urges, and her rebeliousness peaks with her intentional banishment to "the Village" to follow another slave.

The second instalment "Beauty's Punishment" follows Beauty and another slave Tristian's experiences in the Village (the ultimate punishment for a naughty slave). From about half way through this book the story starts to get a bit repetitive, the Village is just a bit more humiliating and violent than the castle. The third book "Beauty's Release" takes us politically incorrectly to a distant Arab Land, where the punishments are not as severe but the level of consensual submission is higher than ever before. The conclusion of Beauty's story is quite satisfying, which was a relief after such a drawn out story.

Overall I think that Anne Rice didn't really live up to the potential of an erotic trilogy, the story was to repetitive and there wasn't much character development (this is in part due to the fact that the secondary characters were all short lived, only Beauty's character features in all three books). It seemed like Anne Rice was trying to make a more accesable period version of The Story of O, which more men in stockings, castles and horses (not in the way you're expecting!). Nothing really compares to Reage's classic, though I'm also not sure if any story that deals with submission and sexual slavery can escape comparision. Depending on your kicks, and if you're a fan of Anne Rice you might really get into her trilogy. I enjoyed it and got off on it but was also found it to be a bit of a chore to get to the end of the third book. You could really skip the entire middle book!

My mood has been up n down since last night.  I spoke to MM on the phone before he started work and he was asking if I was ok, I said yes, I just wished I could see him more.  He said "I know, it's a shame I couldn't get a job in Glasgow or I could of met you for lunch all the time" I said yeah... but then I was thinking, I hope that's not all he thinks I want, or what he wants, to see him at lunchtime, I want to be going out with him, staying over at his house or mine etc etc.  So later I txt him saying something along those lines, and I woke up to a voicemail saying that he wasn't very happy I sent that text and that I need to stop thinking too much.  And he's right so I'm really trying my best not to.  He had also txtd saying that we were definately going to London :) So now I suppose I'm not going to Manchester.  I really want to go with MM it's just that I think I should see my friends more... and have more fun with them.  But not this time coz I love being with him and I love London.... Hmmm... have to stop thinking about that too much!  We went to London this month but it was kinda ruined as I got a bad headache.  Right, def going to London and I'm going to love it!!!

I think I've got to start thinking of my relationship as an added extra to my life and not a part of it.  Don't know if that sounds right but I mean I need to stop kinda expecting to see him so much and just take things as they come and if I see him I see him, and not rely on him so much for my happiness.  I need to learn to be happy without a man.  That sounds so strange because I have a man!!!!  But I can't let that be the only reason I'm happy.  If anyone does read this I hope you know what I mean ha ha.

Wavy hair again today :) also dying of cramp :( I'm back on the pill so it's not as bad as usual but still pretty hellish.

Going out with LC etc tonight.  Someone in their work is having a night out n they're all asking friends to go too.  Don't think I'll mention Roisin tonight I'll leave it for another time.

I'm wearing black bra, black & pink lacy knickers, grey pinstrip trousers, little navy top, hot pink cardi and my blue Lacostes!  And my hair is down n wavy.  Wearing usual make up (Benefit Boi-ing, Oh La Lift, High Beam & Posie Tint, and 2 Faced Lash Injection mascara) plus a dark blue Urban Decay eyeshadow called Adore (I think).

xoxo

Walgreens
2012 El Camino Real
Santa Clara, CA 95050-4051

Today I started my period.  I know, I know - after all the stress I've been under - Auntie Flo comes over.  I HATE it when she comes over.  UGH!  After lunch I went to Walgreens to pick up some more 'pons (ya know!).  So my fav 'pons were on sale... 2 packs for $11.   BARGAIN!!! Since I hate buying these so much, I decided to just go ahead and buy 2 at the same time.  I get to the register where this 19-20ish year old tall white boy helps me.  He rings up...

"$16.22" he says.

"Nooooo!  These are on sale!  They are 2 for $11!"

"Where are they?" he asked.

I told him where they were and he goes over to the feminine hygiene aisle.

He looks...

and looks...

and LOOKS.

I see him examining each box and sign (because the *regulars* weren't on sale).  He comes back over and says that I am right.  He picks up the phone and calls the manager to come to the register.

*me whistling and waiting*

No one comes by.  The cashier calls for the manager again!!

While waiting for the manager, three people came by separately and the young cashier kept saying, "I'm sorry, I'm helping her right now." Each customer would look at my boxes on the counter and go to the next register.

I would say it was a good LONG 4 minutes of waiting until the MALE store manager came by to void the $16.22.  He took over and started scanning my tampon boxes and asked the young cashier how much the damn tampons were.

UGH.

The whole friggin' store knew I was raggin'.

It was kinda funny in a way - it changed my sad/depressing mood to, "OMG!  IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING??" mood. :)

Tuna. Salad. Kit.

My office is having a candy and ice cream free-for-all due to the upcoming holiday weekend and a celebration of August birthdays. I do not want to eat tuna salad. To top it off, I just got my period and I am CRANKY! So what did I do? Drove to CVS and bought some flip flops [screw heels today] and then went to Panera for some good ol' broccoli cheddar soup.

Needless to say, I'm a little happier than I was an hour ago. Also, broccoli cheddar soup is actually less calories than the tuna salad kit, so I didn't really splurge.

We'll see how I do at 2:30 when they roll the make-your-own sundae table out. Then I may just have to splurge a little.

Yupyup. It's my 16th birthday! 28 August <33. It feels strange. I dunt feel like 16. -.-' But still its good! Im mawfckn 16 guys! 0.0 Well yesterday I got an early present from my best friend , codename, DJ. It whuz sweet. He gave me a skullcandy headphone! AWESOME! Though i dunt have an mp3 or an ipod , that gives me extra motivation to go and buy one! >_< Thank you DJ ! <33

Yuaay! So then yesterday night. I whuz waiting till it my clock say it was officialy my birthday. So when it was 00:00 my parents were like HAPPY B'DAY ~! It was mad sweet! My sister called me to congratualate me and it sweet. My parents gave me a digital camera for my birtday. A real cewl gay one! I LOVE it guys!

I dunnow what more presents I will get, but it's all good. The people that care for me and i care about too , they just have to know , saying Happy Birtday to me means already the world! <33

I feel like a can start a whole new chapter. Leave my 15 year old age behind and start a new one. Yeaah 16 years old! hihi *blush* I can't wait to see whats in store for me now and what opportunities wait for me outside my little box. Hmm . It feels good. One year older. Im gonna do it right this time. I promise. No sneaking out with friends , go late night hanging on the street or check out partys. Not even get wasted for fun . ( Last time was ages ago and that went totally wrong. Can you say: Traumatized ? xD ) I will do whatever it takes to get myself were I wanna be. Figuring I dont know where I wanna go there will be alot of open doors and chooses for me to get it all figured out. Wish me luck!

ps. Im so bored. I'm at school , 4th period and after that homework class. HELL NO.~! My friend JunoJunkie and myself AmiraAbsent xD are gonna go to Bagels&Beans in the city apply for a job and hope we get it! OOEHH bagels ^^ My tummy is screaming: ' FEED ME !! FEED ME!!' >_<

Are you bored too? Link : www.myspace.com/retrokickzz . Add me betches~! [=

Love, Chibbie

At the end of the movie the uncle basically called it a night and so R. walked me back to my car.  Well we got to talking while a storm brewed around us.  It was 9:30 when I left the cabin and I don't know how long we talked but at one point the storm went from a light drizzle to pouring rain.  When that happened we decided to get in my car and continue talking.

After about an hour I would say we went from talking to making out.  It was the first time I had ever made out in a car.  While we were kissing each other he started to administer little bites to my neck.  My first thougth was, yes he bites, and my second thought was to ask him for more.  I then decided to be forward and ask him what he likes to do.  So he told me; Biting, hair pulling, spanking.  And then he apologized. WHAT?  Don't apologize, I told him.  You haven't even asked what I like.  So he asked me and I told him, biting, hair pulling, spanking. (I am pretty sure I was grinning from ear to ear at this point). At some other point he asked me what else I liked.  And I told him; I like to be told what to do, have my arms held down, be dominated. (I don't think he objected to these ideas, yeah me). So we made out some more, despite the fact that it was getting more uncomfortable and hotter and wetter (it was sooo humid because of the storm).

I caught him with this look in his eyes at one point and I asked him what he was thinking.  He said that he shouldnt tell me because it was dirty.  I told him he should so he did.  He said he would like to drag me off into the woods, bite my neck, pull my hair, spank me and fuck me silly.  I asked him if he would use his hand when he spanked me, he said yes.  I asked him if he would pull me over his lap, he said yes and he would also use a table.  I asked him if he would hit me hard and he said yes I am going to leave my hand print on your ass.  Damn, oh damn.

All I can think about is tables and his hand print on my ass.

We didnt end up having sex which is good because I don't want to have sex with him right away.  But the main reason I think I lucked out is because I just started my period... yeah me.

I ended up getting home around 1:15 am.

About three years ago I discovered mooncups. A economically friendly, hygienic alternative to a tampon or sanitary towel and for 3 years I have been resisting buying one. A couple of weeks ago I decided that, as ever it was doubtful that we would conceive this month so I would, at last, invest in a mooncup. On a secondary note to this, I'd also heard that using them after sex could be used as a "fertility gadget", if you like, while trying to conceive, by stopping sperm leaking out - whether it's effective or not I don't know, but I'm sure it's worth a try!

I simply cannot believe that I have been putting off buying a mooncup for so long, without good reason! Towels are uncomfortable, messy and generallsy gross, tampons are equally as gross and toxic - and just as uncomfortable, yet more descrete but by far, out of all the sanitry products that I have ever tried, the mooncup is the best. I wouldn't dream of wearing white knickers with a tampon, much less with a towel but I was confident to wear white knickers with a mooncup - they're also alot easier to insert than a tampon and of course stay there considerably better.

An instant messenger conversation:

Guy: i just sat on my balls
fuck
Girl: hahahaha
is that a frequent problem?
sometimes
i mean, it happens
how does that happen?
they just hang out there
after 22 years of having balls i'd think you'd have figured out how to avoid that
they're unpredictable
sometimes im happy im a girl
but other times i would rather take those issues than being a girl
sitting on your balls is not fun
that's all i can speak to
having your period is not fun

im sure
but you know when that's coming
you never know when youre going to sit on your balls
not necessarily
it cannot be planned for
not even a little
true. i suppose. but still its not planned for completley
you know when its coming
you get moody
all i feel i the chair
then it goes black
i would rather sit on my balls once
than be moody and have my period
yea but its never just once
it's for the rest of your life
you have cramps
you would not be able to function
i sat on my reproductive organ
sit on your ovaries
see how that feels
they are inside
i can sit on them all i want
exactly!
its not an issue
but my balls
my balls are an issue
yes. but having your period is a monthly issue
plus having children
i could sit on my balls more than once a month
well yes
if they pop i die
something tells me youre not gonna bleed out in the middle of the month
no i wont die from bleeding
bust stilll it hurts and is a pain in the ass
and everything surrounding a period is horrible
everything surrounding my balls being sat on isnt a picnic either
well yes.
but its over now
and a period doesnt go away in 10 minutes
they're still tender
k. being a man is just so much harder than being a girl, obviously
good girl
at least you've figured out that the man is always right.
always, whatever he says goes

I remember hearing once that men reach their sexual prime in their late teens but that women don't reach theirs until like their 40s.  What the fuck kind of intelligent design is that?  It seems slightly misogynistic. Like God said, "Well, I don't want women to want sex all the time when they should be busy taking care of their families. I know, I'll just delay their sexual prime so they can propagate first, play later."  Clearly God was not taking into account the fact that by the time we are done with all that breeding all our fun parts are too stretched out and ugly to feel good about sharing them with anyone else (at least with the lights on).  

I'm only 38, so I keep telling my husband to wait for it....his time is coming.  Of course by then, he'll be so old that he'll need to take Viagra and have his doctor on speed-dial in case he gets a perma-bone. But while we are both patiently waiting for my prime to get here, why oh why does he always seem to want sex at the precise moment when it is the last thing on earth I'd rather do.  OK, true, that is like 99% of the time. But come on.  Gimme a break, dude.  When I begged you to get that vasectomy and promised you spontaneous wild sex wherever and whenever you wanted, I had my fingers crossed behind my back.  

Here, I'll give you an example.  Husband gets home from work the other day all sexed up and rearing to go (must be that sexy voice of Terri Gross on NPR).  His timing could not have been worse.  Unbeknownst to him, I had received my monthly visitor earlier that day. You know, Aunt Flo.  Mr. Menstrual.  The Curse. Paul Revere Riding the Cotton Pony.  I'm bloated, crampy, pimply, gassy, and slightly inebriated.  But Mr. Twenty-Five-Years-Past-His-Prime doesn't seem to notice all the warning signs and nuzzles up to me hoping for a little slap and tickle.  I say, "Sorry hon. Can't. Got my period today."  Oh the look.  You would think I had said that I just spent his retirement fund on another batch of Fat Burning Soap from QVC.  To say he was disappointed would be an understatement. All I wanted was my box of wine, a heating pad, and whichever Meredith Baxter Burney movie was playing on Lifetime TV.  I was also hoping he wouldn't then ask for a 68: "You do me and I'll owe you one."  Luckily for me, he got on the Internet instead.  Hallelujah for free porn.  

If he was my gorgeous lesbian life partner instead, we'd be on the same cycle, sharing an institutional-sized box of Tampons from Costco, watching Lifetime together, guilt free.  But then, who would mow the lawn and grill the steaks?  I guess I'll keep him.  And here's hoping for that sexual prime to get here sooner than later.

Behind the computer. I should actually have my German class right now. But 'cause I didn't pass last year all the stuff my German teacher is learning to my new class is stuff I already had last year. She was sweet to let me sit in this seperate classroom with my friend Juno to sit behind the computer. [=

So .. enough about school xD. 26 Oct. & Dec.6 . Fall Out Boy and Pete Philly & Perquisite performing here right in Amsterdam. AND IM GOING~! ^^ Yuaaaay! . I already bought the F.O.B ticket, still gotta buy the Pete Philly & Perquisite ticket for December 6. Can't wait. Joy joy! Check out their music. They make some good laidback hiphop music. ~!^^ They will perform in Paradiso  and F.O.B will perform in the Milkyway. ( Were Gym Class Heroes performed last year ~! ^^ )

www.petephillyandperquisite.com

3 Days till my sweet 16 ! Yup the whole world may now im turing sixteen this thursday. Pff no special party though dont like the whole birthday cake singing and blowing candles part T___T. ( Im strange I know -.-') But still im mad excited about it! A whole new age with alot of different mistakes i can make. xD No remember. I wrote (at www.chibbiexd.mulitply.com) a whole list for this year that I wanna do ~`! So here it goes.

- Pass this mawfackn schoolyear 0.0

- Dye my hair brown

- Perm my hair

- Get a fucking piercing

- Get some new sneakerz 0.0 ?

Another year. Another prom another dress? I'll be sure my vans will come along again ~! ^^ .

Love, Chibbie