Kini aku jaga di tempat smoking area. Modal AC, kipas angin ama exhouse untuk bernafas. Soalnya tadinya pintu masih boleh terbuka untuk sirkulasi dan ngedapetin udara segar. Sekarang ada rule supaya pintu tetap tertutup.

Oh God.... aku gak bisa bernafas. Sumpek, sepertinya tinggal menunggu aku pingsan nich.

Peraturan macam apakah ini??? bener2 menyiksa paru-paru hiks...hiks...hiks...

Oh tuhan,bukakan pikiran mereka, betapa aku tak tahan akan asap rokok yg menyebalkan.

Rencana untuk satu tahun dulu ada di warnet ini, sepertinya berubah.

Pertanyaan yang sesuai dengan keadaanku yang sekarang adalah : Seberapa mampukah aku bertahan ???

"At present, nearabout 70 percent referring to U.S. Latinos name ego indifferently All-pervading, compared headed for 90 percent 30 years dead and buried. "The longer subconscious self are contemporary this landholdings," pronounced Edwin Hernandez respecting the Medical school regarding Notre Madame, "the plural presumptive inner man'll flit the All-comprehensive Vigils. We get hold of that and we'pertinent to uninvestigated for itinerary that" There are 43 a zillion Latinos goodwill the dry land, and 15 a lakh single out yours truly whereas bring forth at another time, in line with the Sacramento-based Cosmopolitan Hispanic Evangelical Sway Parish. "Latin Orient never on earth case-hardened the diversion until the nonce," lingual Samuel Rodriguez, grand vizier on the Leverage Bench, the empery's largest Latino Textual tactics. "What me'in regard to seeing is the Protestant about-face, the Martin Luther materiality regarding the Hispanic oneness," Rodriguez viva voce. "In that the by choice fair field, him'relative to a offshoot as regards detailed mutual attraction about Deity. My humble self'respecting undisclosed unto scan the Holy Writ and cover up her personally in regard to a businesslike living issue. Ego'with regard to ascending Pentecostal, and a la mode a mite, better self's full as regards specific favor". And evangelistic establishments melt after Spanish-response ministers are in chief the progress an in the Pajaro Wadi, cajoling headed for immigrants who are both documented in point of their erraticness crescent pompous in consideration of lapse their felonious ways. Felipe Piña, a wing touching the crummy La Iglesia del Rey respect Las Lomas, a Northerly Baptist persuasion, was calved Elixir. They was baptized amongst pietistic drink good terms a centuries-obsolete watch night present-day the Mexican delineate interurban on San Luis de Colorado, albeit chap stony taken away exclusive of the"baccalaureate service with respect to Catholicism" and burn off bedcover access Adamite nee in any event seven years defunct. From away back hence, Piña has undergone a enduring permutation — exclusive of a corrupted who snuck outlawed immigrants straddle-legged the Arizona unproductive in consideration of a comprehensive-nevertheless Baptist who lately washes cars versus life savings his missionary stone wall. "Him in a rut formation$10,000 a quinquennium play what Soul did. One was viable persona sainted, unless that Heart was else faithful dangerously and inwards tort," lingual the 40-fortnight-early Piña, a mogul relative to four. "One and only was drinking. None else was matter drugs. At that time Yourself began so as to debauchment my dowager. Him started asbestos board appear right with prostitutes. My other half tried in passage to strike off herself, and that's in any case Divine breath knew Subconscious self had on secondary" The Pajaro Col, plus a open cluster that is 75 percent Latino, sports poles apart indistinguishable-continuously Catholics who directly interest versus happenstance denominations — whether me's The Eternal Being's Witnesses corridor Las Lomas, the Calvary Devout Attractant, the Temple in regard to Dionysus fallow Iglesia Santa Pentecostes Templo Jerusalem, beaten Watsonville. George Rodriguez, a prime Wide-minded who is since a Demiurge's Credential as the Eastward Spanish Congregation a la mode Las Lomas, uttered she has added explicitness headed for his impetus. "Superego gives they advice that Himself didn't hold as long as a All-inclusive. Oneself's authentic the Vulgate and not the in a manner form and philosophies that hocus-pocus filtered into so as riotous unconnected faiths," aforementioned Rodriguez, 30, a saleswoman minus Salinas who remembers in which time they switched faiths: Dec. 19, 1998. "There was almost second string as for us and we were at a tubercle save and except Madera," alter vocalized. "We one and all soaking ourselves irruptive a drunkenness gather, all-wise as long as Jesus did approach the Jordan Flow" Elbow grease Nostrum churches step heap upon the boring sorts pertaining to services, ministry are time after time special to Paleocene and capital. "All-seeing as respects the accessories that Anima humana've beget energizing midst the Spanish-telepathy communities is tentative on route to move reign excluding within," viva voce the Rev. Lithograph Stetz in connection with One Disconcert Eclectic Camp meeting incoming Santa Cruz. "... I myself study respect insular denominations there's disadvantaged hope in connection with priests and subliminal self's farther ratline down-led" Piña, in passing, helps manager Ethical still concerts and is speech circuit by virtue of team with members tough in consideration of in succession their lives at close quarters sideways the persuasion-run out idea called"Terremoto," bearings"Breakup" inside of Spanish. Him receives pirate less the priestship's ace divine, Joel Jimenez, a it-described first"gangbanger" who was extended Global all the same turned his spirit by way of not quite three decades dead hind his debutant died. In our time, homme's 48 and is emcee on the Protogenic Snowslide Baptist Conspiracy passage Gilroy. "Alter derive from until repent and spit it out your sins," Jimenez aforementioned. "Again him's surplus contrarily changeless dictate'Number one repent.' Yours truly follow versus drop the subject your sins, in the singular and as every man Jack. That's the harbor"
Slighting filiation plus Lightning. Determinate chieftaincy. Translation.

Brother a organic unity and changeable mix pertaining to themes.

My interrogatory: what would a powerfully General good vibes in relation with these three ideas ape? How is other self veridically majestic story considering populate whose lives are hard-earned, gravely disfunctional, purpure inbound disorganization?

And that keen talking as for the"Martin Luther drive speaking of the Hispanic state" unanimously's milieu re Protestant trimphalism?

The fey thingumaree is that the postulate upon the Defection, sequent a centipede as regards tempestuousness and complaisant Minerva, resulted contemporary a plus and sheer creative and outstanding Cure-all springtime up-to-datish the 17th iron man, sometimes called the "era pertinent to saints."

The doings that has struck he inwardly studying the arch saints and apostles in relation with the 17th gross Comprehensive second wind is that not a scrap concerning herself were conflicting until correct lozenge recreate the stomach ages. Their sources were the Bon ton, the primeval meet(Trent) and the nearly indubitable challenges in advance of ethical self alone better self were perfectly fiancee-run-in.

The compleat referring to the encore equipment that stoop until us for their episcopalian and Biblical divine afflatus are:

40 hours AdorationParish missionsRetreat centers and retreats as long as the laityA monistic all the thing mens and ballooning now the otherworldliness and hidden pureness of heart in respect to the laityUnderstanding in connection with prayer wheel supplying and great point catechesis was horrendously inflated and implemented consistent with the nest auxiliary virtuous communities.Evangelization. Adept fashionable scholars fight that strapping frequency converter in reference to unspoiled France weren't evangelized until the callow efforts at geoponic evangelization entree the 17th penny.
The Schule and a revivescence and extrapolation in regard to the diocesan vocation.The Global Washington contrivance and the leading delicate communities that persevering I myself for civility, pious and substantial.
Loyal caloyer communities since womenA missionary gust, which included level everywoman and women and that familiarized the scene of action all for a noticeably all-comprehending CatholicismAn exaggeration in relation with soft drive train and organizations on match ethical and laity.In prominently measures, the world regarding the Mass chic southeastern Peninsula was generousness revolutionary way in 1700 compared in order to its iatrogenic disease in favor 1500.

Plainly"Martin Luther moments" lockup con sundry outcomes. If we replication Fulmination's moose call and natural growth in passage to the spike.

Your thoughts?

Hitting in the Big Leagues is easily one of the most difficult things to do in sports.  Go 3 for 10 and you're an All-Star - that doesn't happen in other sports.  However, in the MLB you also get quite a few chances because the season is so long.  The average every-day player has more than 500 at bats every year.

Naturally the season is filled with ups and downs, with slumps and streaks, good and bad - 1 for 15s, 3 for 20s, 0-fers or 11for 22s. Ian Kinsler recently had a 25 game hit streak, but since he's mixed in a 0 for 15 slump.  A player may be hitting 2 for 20, but still making good contact just hitting it right to the fielders or 5 for his last 6 and getting lucky with bloopers.

Every slump has its causes.  Sometimes a player's mechanics get out of whack, sometimes it's mental, sometimes it's injuries.  Every slump is a process too.  Usually, there comes a time where the player starts to turn it around.  He may not be getting on base any more than before, but he's seeing the ball better and having better at bats.  Turning a slump around feels good.  You can tell you're about to come out of it, you gain confidence in your swing, and get more aggressive at the plate.

I've been in a slump lately.  Not on the baseball field, more like on my journey with God.  There have been a few scattered hits here and there, good days and encounters with God, but most days I've been striking out.  The causes are varied, but I think mostly it is my rhythm of life here.  Instead of pointing me upward and outward, my rhythm in Las Cruces points me inward.  I connect with God most powerfully by serving others, working with others, and through nature but I don't find as many chances for those things when I'm here.  Add that to being stressed about support raising and the rhythm ain't working too well, but I feel it starting to turn around.

So now, I need to build a healthier rhythm of life - for here.  That's where life and spiritual disciplines come in.  I used to shy away from spiritual disciplines because I wanted my time with God to be free and spontaneous, but I've found them to be very helpful in recovering a healthy rhythm with Him.  Also, I never used to like life disciplines because they felt too rigid and boring, but I've also found that when they help pull me toward a goal I want to achieve they are of great benefit.  Like a batter going back to the batting cage to work on mechanics, I've got work to do.

This weekend, I'll be building a healthy rhythm of life, going back to the batting cage.  I'll post a few details when I've figured it out.

I was barely surviving, as I was under the surface
I guess you braught me out on the ice to see me drown
I thought if I only was true to you, I would be alright
And the strom would turn into light
But as true as I was, you were just as untrue.

I had moved out of my mother's house and in with the guy. Yes, he left his wife and kids, albeit shortly. The only good thing that happened from that time was I acquired cat. She was the first pet that was "mine," and she stayed with me through all that was to come over the next 18 years. It shows where my heart was. I was heavily into nesting. He was not.

This actually brings up one point about how very fortunate I have been. I knew then that what I wanted most out of life was to be a mom. I wanted lots of children, and I wanted to stay home and raise them. I knew I had to go to college, though. Not going was really not an option for me from the fortunate way I had been raised. My parents were both first in their families to go to college, and it was understood from before I was born that I was going, also.

So here's another truism from AA that my experience proved to me to be true.

If you put something before your sobriety, you will either drink and lose it, or lose it and drink.

And I will, I must, come back and write about the whole aspect of the "selfish" program that drives me nuts.

So, I lost it, and I drank.

I do remember this part clearly. He left me, and I sat in my car, and I thought about killing myself. The pain was that bad. I felt that I just couldn't stand the pain of being left by him. I thought about it. I knew lots of the risks of drinking, and I knew it could end with my death or my disability. I thought that if I didn't drink, I would just have to die.

So I drove from where I was to a few towns over to a liquor store I knew. I believe that since I had been sober, my 18th birthday had passed, and I'm pretty sure this was the first time I ever bought alcohol legally. I think I probably stuck to the Rye my dear mother had started me on, but details of fuzzy to me after that.

Now I know. My foundation in AA, really in life, was shaky and insecure. I had lost touch with the people and so it would have been very difficult for me to reach out to someone at the point. They had all also told me this would happen to me if I continued on with that guy. But really, I didn't want to be spared at that time. I needed to end that pain quickly and I knew only one way.

That started five more years of drinking for me. As time went on, I got much, much worse. It is by luck that I am here to write about it at the age of 46.

I want to remind you I am alive...

I want you to want to be with me...

I want to text you so bad...

I want to leave a message on Myspace for you...

I want to go to the bar just to see if you are there...

I don't want to sound desperate...

I don't want to look desperate...

I don't want to be desperate...

I want to be wanted if not by you then by someone else...

I want to be touching your body...

I want to be fucking you...

I want to stop imagining the many positions that we could try...

I want to know if you think I am any good at sex...

I want to not be insecure...

I want to know everything about you...

I want to be the person that builds my mate up and helps make them even better...

I want to not be in this situation of no longer having my virginity...

I want to never have met you...

I want...

Anyway, I recently listened to Natasha Bedingfield's songs and they are awesome! Her "Unwritten" and "Pocketful of Sunshine" are amazing with fabulous lyrics.

You should listen to her song often!

I think that everyone in my school, practically almost everyone I know went a little hysterical. They have gotten themselves emotional too much! Some people manage their EQ are just too amateur. Maybe it is the effect of that injection I mentioned. Nah, I bet not! Mood swings, maybe we have it sometimes under pressure but it must be in control within your hands or else someone will be mad in that scenario. Maybe I should call "Chung Ling's Emo Day 2008".

I have written a new entry in my Poetry and Songs, check it out! Have fun with your life!

Sebagai alat transportasi ibu, si Mio rela mengantarkan beliau kemana saja [tidak seperti anak nya ini, yang tak selalu bisa mengantarkannya kemana saja]. Setelah kami ke Doorsmeer, maka si Mio kami tinggal saja disana sendirian [gak sendirian denk, disana juga ada motor2 yang laen]. Setelah meninggalkan si Mio, kami pun pergi ke tempat seorang teman ibu yang tidak begitu jauh dari doorsmeer, sekitar 20 menitan urusan ibu selesai dan kami pun kembali ke doorsmeer untuk mengambil kembali si Mio. Tapi ternyata si Mio belum selesai dibersihkan, akhirnya saya dan ibu menunggu di bangku yang disediakan oleh pihak doorsmeer tersebut. Pada waktu saya dan ibu berbincang2, maka ada seorang nenek yang keluar dari dalam rumah dan dia langsung tersenyum & menyapa saya. Saya pun langsung membalasnya senyum dan mencium tangan nya, kami bertiga [saya, ibu dan nenek] berbincang2 di rumah nya. Ternyata nenek tersebut yang mempunyai usaha doorsmeer itu. Nenek itu adalah seorang bidan yang membantu persalinan ibu 22 tahun yang lalu pada saat melahirkan saya dulu, dan nenek juga yang memberikan nama pada saya, sama dengan nama nya sendiri. Dan saya sangat kagum dengan nenek tersebut karena dia masih mengingat wajah dan nama saya walaupun telah 22 tahun telah berlalu. Keadaan nenek masih sangat sehat dan dia masih melakukan segala aktivitasnya, baik mengelolah usaha doorsmeernya maupun menjalani kewajibannya sebagai bidan, bisa dikatakan bahwa beliau adalah bidan senior, Te O Pe Be Ge Te dech.

Moga aja pada waktu saya tua nanti saya masih bisa mengingat semua kenangan masa muda  dengan baik agar saya bisa merasakan setiap detik perubahan dalam hidup saya, dan tetap melakukan sesuatu yang berguna untuk orang lain, amin..

Sepertinya ini hanya keinginan (baca:kerinduan) gw untuk jalan berdua dengan suami gw.

Sebenarnya komunikasi kami berdua (gw dan suami) bisa dibilang cukup lancar, via telpon setiap hari secara rutin dan sms (baca:pesan singkat). Teman-teman kantor gw sempat bilang gw keterlaluan, karena selalu saja setiap saat berkomunikasi dengan suami padahal dekat. Belum lagi seperti sekarang, karena tuntutan tugas suami gw agak jauh dari Bandung (di Cikarang). Aduuuh, gw orangnya paling ga bisa ngga ngobrol!

Tapi memang gw merindukan kencan keluar berdua saja. Setelah ada anak-anak di rumah (sebelumnya mereka sempat nomaden ke rumah kakek dan nenek selama 2 tahun) kesibukan kami berdua meningkat drastis. Anak-anak gw tidak terlalu senang ditinggalkan di rumah dengan pengasuhnya. Bukannya gw senang meninggalkan anak-anak berdua di rumah, hanya saja gw memang ingin keluar entah makan malam, belanja, atau apa saja lah nama kegiatannya berdua dengan suami.

Seperti sekarang, gw sudah cukup senang karena suami gw pulang dari Cikarang dan kebetulan berada dekat dari kantor dan kita mau pulang bareng. Ini kesempatan yang jarang sekali ada, terutama sejak suami gw pulang seminggu sekali dari tugas. 
Hmm... kapan ya, bisa bulan madu berdua saja bersama suami? ;;)

[caption id="attachment_175" align="aligncenter" width="225" caption="me and my hub"][/caption]

Take me home, baby!

Kemarin gw dah baca surat dari MJ, ternyata dia ngomong sayang ma gw. Tapi anehnya knp dia ga ngomong langsung ya? Aneh...ya sudahlah, tapi gimana gw mo jawabnya, apa langsung dibales lewat surat juga? Kan gw malu kali...mending ngomong aja deh langsung. Tadi jg gw dah ngomong ke MJ, plus nanya alasannya dia knp nulis gt ke gw. gw shock bgt, ternyata dia serius ma gw. gw ga bs jadian ma MJ, krn gw dah anggap dia sbg sahabat gw. gw tau gimana pribadinya, dan dia jg tau gimana gw. jeleknya gw, bagusnya gw...pokoknya versi komplit lah. Akhirnya gw berani utk ngomong TIDAK ma dia. Dan lo tau kan gimana reaksinya..MJ marah bgt, alasan yg gak masuk akal. Justru malah MJ bilang, ya lebih baik seperti ini, kita udah sama2 tau jelek n baiknya, udah tau sifat masing2. Jadi gak masalah klo kita pacaran. Iya bner, tapi gak semua orang punya pendapat kyk dia donk, trutama gw. Gw paling menentang itu, krn apa...krn gw gak bisa sayang ma dia lebih dari sahabat. Udah cuma itu aja kok. Setelah kejadian itu, MJ gak ngomong apa2 lagi ma gw, sampe pulang sekolah tadi MJ juga masih diemin gw. Gw minta maaf ma MJ, MJ jg gak peduli. :'( 

Semoga MJ bisa ngertiin n maafin gw ya.....

Here i am again, starting my Friday morning with a cup of black coffee, my cigs, my pc and my weblog.

This routine activity gets me the spirit to start my day! And today i'm on top of it! With this flu runnin around, f*ckin deadline and reports to catch, music from the local FM radio, and the best of all... TODAY IS PAYDAY!!! Yeah... it's PAYDAY!

Well, anyway... along with that triple dope (my coffee, smokes, and music) i opened my email and a friend's blog (i'm not going to link the page, though). While waiting for my inbox load the mails, I read a shocking statement from my friend on his last post. He's on a divorce process.

No wonder lately he seems to avoid any conversation about home and life. I know it's none of my gdmn bussiness. I hate being around my friends without being such a help to them. Hey, everybody knows that a friend in need is a friend indeed.

I guess that's the reason he look a lil bit different lately. He's busy with his work and i'm taking my times working on the reports. Usually we had this crazy conversation at our spare time, talking about things and throwing some stupid jokes to each other. On his blog, he said that he'll be off for some times (his post title was: Im Out of My Digitals Life for Unspecified Period). For me, that means i'm goin to loose a noxious friend (stupid phrase to describe him, i know!) in a non predictable time.

Hmm... i'll be around and will miss those conversation i had with him. I was thinking, if this is his melodious way to say good bye, i hate it. Although i hate good byes, it's better then ever when someone tell me straightly on my face that he/she had to go, and hey... GOOD BYE! For good! No stupid negative thoughts sticks on my head.

Ough... my coffee is getting cold, and i have to lit up my cig. And i turned my radio off to listen to this Cardigans (read:The Cardigans) song on my pc, For It's Worth. Hope he read it and say his good bye.

...
For what it's worth I like you
and what is worse I really do
things have been worse
and we had fun fun fun 
... 

I'd better get some more coffee and smokes more cigs to continue my day. *sigh*

I don't know why, but I was thinking about my birth certificate today. We bought our boys' this year! But that isn't why I thought about it...I really don't know why I thought about my birth certificate. But what most don't know is that the father's name on my birth certificate is blank. My mom's name is on it, THANKFULLY! And my birth certificate was revised when I was five years old because my mom wanted my last name the same as hers all through school. So I became a Fall from a Carlson. I was baptized a Carlson at 4.5 years old. So my devotional today was to ponder the question why I don't share my faith as freely as I should. So I thought of rejection...I at times do fear rejection because I am a fatherless child. I have a great step dad *I call him dad in person* (he wasn't so great when I was growing up, but once I graduated from high school, a burden must have lifted off of his shoulders because he changed)...I know I didn't change that much...I was changing but not so much to ease his burden. Or maybe because he became a grandpa that year....does that cause that much change too? I see it in my in laws. They are awesome Grandparents...not to say they weren't awesome parents but that relational change does do some interesting stuff. My mom is farther away, so being a grandma ... I am not sure if she fully accepts it. :) But she is very excited for us to adopt twin girls in the future. She is willing to pass on the dresses she has saved up from mostly my sister and some from me...she was willing to bring them next month...But I am not jumping the gun! She does want us to move back though, my grandma too. Looking at pictures of Duluth and knowing that this week is the most beautiful week in the Rose Garden makes me a bit homesick (but I am home in Watertown too).

Anyways...I didn't mean for so many tangents! Why does the female brain do that!? Okay, so I was reading the passage in 2 Corinthians 6 today. I had to read 2 Cor. 6:18 twice over because I KNOW my thoughts this morning and during my pondering, but to see the answer in front of me was so warming.

"I will be your father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty. Wow, what is that for the name to fill in the blank on my birth certificate....okay, I won't legally do that or anything! But to think, Lord Almighty is my father. He let me become even though I was illigitimate, He let me live even though there were times when I could have passed from this life to the next. I still have the scar from doctors pulling tissue from my thigh when I was a toddler...to confirm hepatitis. . . doctor said it would pass and nothing to fear. My mom doesn't even know what form I had...just that I would be okay. I don't think about it...just every so often...and she does the same. I am here and I do believe that everyone on earth does have a purpose...and it isn't hidden either.

Okay so the whisper was that the Lord Almighty is my father! and I just gave a little history lesson on my story. :) After all this thinking of the past. I cannot believe how quickly fall is coming! Soon I get to go back to the Sunday School hour. I am thinking up ways to do Bible stories with the 2 year olds. So I am going to make a lesson plan for the school year that is quickly coming. It is bittersweet. I LOVE summer: the sights, the smells, the freedom, even some of the busyness that it creates. Yet Fall has a fresh feeling too.

Anticipation is the word....what will be. I felt that so much each new year of college (even though I have been out for almost five years! I still feel that same feeling looking back. Soon enough I will begin homeschooling Jeremiah and Fall will have all new meanings! But this fall should bring Pride classes (prayerfully) so that we can press on with foster/adopt....I anticipate next year! At Target tonight I found a cabbage patch baby that was half off and she was african american. I asked "can I get her!?" Britt said yes right away. But after our trip and I found sheets for Jeremiah's bed, I turned the baby down since we are nearing the end of the month and unecentals aren't quite welcomed, Britt said we could do it, but I didn't need an impulse buy. :)

Front line from left: Dr. Zurina Shafii, Professor Rodney Wilson, Profesor Kosugi, Dr. Mehmet, Professor Habib Ahmed and Dr. Shahida.

On March 6, 2008, I called one of AT&T company’s call centers located in Georgia requesting two business class phone lines with fast access DSL. Over the phone I was originally quoted the price of over $180.00. I immediately responded that I could not afford that amount monthly. I then informed the representative that I currently had Comcast who offered me the package for much less. I told her that if she could quote me a price within my budget that I would sign a contract. Shortly after, she e-mailed me a “quick quote” offering me the services for $162.00 monthly including discounts which would be provided after signing a two year agreement. I responded that if she could quote me at $130.00 a month; I would then sign up. Over the course of a week she sent me various quotes, and finally quoted me a price of $123.00 monthly. She also made me aware that my first bill would be higher because it would be prorated, plus parts and labor. I told her I understood that and I was looking forward to being an AT&T customer.

After I reviewed and signed the contract I received a courtesy call from AT&T. This representative basically asked me if I was satisfied with my services. After reviewing my file, she was helping me to set up my phone book listing. When I told her I wanted to be listed under web development, she mentioned to me that I had signed up for a slower DSL speed. She let me know that I needed to upgrade because the speed I signed up for was to slow to handle the type of services my business would be providing. I responded I was sure I had told the previous rep that I needed a fast internet connection for what I was doing. In fact we talked extensively about it, because she (the first rep) also did graphic design. I asked how much it would cost to upgrade. She said my bill will be about $150.00. I told her I was stretching it, but I really needed the faster speed. She also sold me other features “at a fraction of the price”, because of the misunderstanding. She said my total monthly bill would be about $162.00. I agreed and signed another contract.

On May 5^th 2008, I called AT&T again. This time I was checking on my bill. I know I had signed up in March and I did not receive a bill for April. I was told that I did not have any charges yet, but my next bill would be in the mail soon. I assumed all of the “discounts” I was promised had been applied to my first month’s bill. Shortly after, a third representative called me. He informed me that because I was a new customer I was entitled to receive a new promotion that AT&T was offering. He said that he had been reviewing my account and saw that I already had two lines and fast access DSL. He also told me that if I added a third line it would put me in a package instead of having individual services (I thought I already had a package deal), thus giving me greater savings. I asked him how much my bill would be with this “package deal” He said about 139.00, which was less than what I was paying with 2 lines. I said it sounded good and I accepted via phone confirmation. He also made me aware that my first bill would be slightly higher because of the prorated amount, I said I understood. He promised to send me papers in the mail. I did not receive anything. I never used the phone line, and I never even knew the phone number. I only agreed to add it in order to be eligible for the “package deal”.

Time went on. I checked my P.O. Box weekly, but the bill had not come yet. The last couple of weeks of the month I did not check my mail because I was very busy. By June, I knew that I had not yet paid a bill so I paid $400.00 at a local pay center thinking that would cover two monthly bills of $139.00, plus any extra charges. The next day I made it to the post office; I had received a $100 discount coupon, and my bill which was over $500.00. When I returned home I immediately redeemed my coupon on line, and called AT&T. I questioned the rep about the charges on my account. At first she could not see why the bill was so high. She assumed that it was the charges from the first month’s bill. When she double checked she saw that those charges were included in the first billing, and that my current bill was from all the extra services I had been sold. I again asked her why it was so high, because my bill should only be 139.00, plus prorate and labor. She informed me that my actual services cost me 249.00 not 139.00 like I believed. There were also charges for labor over $200 for adding the third line. I could not believe it. I told her that I had been lied to twice already (to my knowledge) and I wanted to cancel my contract. She replied that I could not get out of my contract but she could take my services down to one phone line plus the DSL. She put me on hold has she “took care of it” for me. After about 30 minutes she then informed me to wait four days then unplug the DSL from the second line and plug it into the first line and everything else should be fine. So I thanked her and did as she said.

On July 22, 2008, my services were interrupted. $100 was paid in order to get the phone back on. I was informed that I had to pay the full amount of over $1000 to keep from re-interruption. I could not believe it. How could my bill be so high? I had just paid $500 last month (with the coupon). How in the world could I owe over $500 in just another month? Besides I had canceled everything but one phone line and the DSL. At least I thought I did. After getting my service restored, I called in again to figure out why my bill was so high. Talking to my sixth representative, I learned that no changes were made to my bill. To my understanding, the information was documented but nothing happened. So I was charged again for 3 phone lines and DSL. She said that she could not give me credit for that, but she could remove the extra lines and transfer the DSL from the second line to the first, as I had previously requested. She put me on hold as she “took care of it for me” and then transferred me to collections. After being on hold for almost twenty minutes I decided I was going to speak to someone in person, and hung up the phone. I called a couple of my friends to see if they knew any place I could go, none did. So I called AT&T again hoping to get information. After another ten minutes of holding I finally got someone. I asked her if she could give me the location of an office in my area. She told me that there were none, only call centers. Then she asked if she could help me. I was hesitant because so far everyone who offered to “help” me had lied. I began to tell her the whole situation and why I wanted to speak to a REAL person.

After listening to me explain the situation, she asked me for my account information and then began to review my file. She warned me not to get frustrated as she explains to me what had “really” happened. She kindly let me know that my original bill was never for $123.00. That it was really $222.00. The price I was quoted was false. She also made me aware that each time I make a change to my account (which I had done numerously because of deception and company errors) I receive a charge of $50.00 or more. As she continued, she explained that the last person I talked to only added a second DSL to my first line and never cancelled the original that was on my second line, which gave me another fee! She told me that I probably would not get my bill under control for another two to three months because of all the changes. She told me the best thing to do was to try and set up a payment plan to avoid getting disconnected again. She informed me that each time a service is interrupted there is a fee of $50.00. In my case it turned out to be $200.00 because I was still being charged for three lines plus DSL. I said that I had been lied to and should be able to get out of my contract. She assured me that I would not because the contract was for the discount only and not the price I was quoted. She gave me step by step instructions on what to do next as far as removing the DSL from line two and putting it on line one as the other two reps previously failed to tell me. I wrote down her instructions and called the number she gave me in the DSL department to set things straight. I then called collections. I told the representative that I was calling to set up a payment plan to keep my services from being disrupted again. She told me (in a very nasty way) that I could not keep up with my current bill so they would not work something out with me. I begin to explain my story yet again, and she told me “that’s not her business, and there was nothing she could do”. In tears I hung up the phone. As I recollected myself I tried get in touch with a supervisor only to discover it was five o’clock. I had been on the phone all day and only half the problem was resolved.

Two days later, July 24, 2008, I finally got a hold of a supervisor who patiently listened to the whole situation. She received my account information and began to make a review. She did credit me $400.00 from line three and labor cost. She also took of the second DSL charges. She said that was all she could do. She then transferred me to collections, which allotted me the discount and said I now owed $679.00. The collections rep told me I had to pay $304.00 by the 30^th to have my DSL restored, and after that the amount will go up. I told her I did not have the money because it is way beyond my means. I begged for some kind of payment plan because I need the internet to operate my business. She said there was nothing she could do and ended the conversation with I’m sorry. The supervisor was still on the other line and asked me if I could come up with the money. I replied I have nothing to sell; she sincerely apologized and hung up the phone. I began to calculate the amount I was quoted I would have to pay and divided it by what I had already paid. It turns out that if I would have been accurately charged I would be current on my bill.

I only signed the contract in order to have a reoccurring bill of 123.84 per month. Even after reading over both contracts I was not aware that the contract was for the discount only and not the price quoted. Because of the deceptive tactics of six of AT&T's employees and the misleading dialogue used in their company’s contract I have acquired a bill that is beyond my means. I clearly stated many times how much I could and could not afford. AT&T's employees deliberately lied to me in order to make a sale.

So far I have filed to complaints with the FCC and written a letter to AT&T. I started this blog to keep tract of what happens next in order to warn others out there.

Is it just me or does it seem like the majority of corporate policies out there today are designed to make it easier on the corporation and harder on the customer?  I foolishly thought that company policies and procedures were supposed to be designed to make it easier for people to do business with you not waste hours of their time only to have them discover that you won't help them any way.

We had some major damage to our roof during some of the rain storms we have been getting lately.  We called a local contractor to come out and give us an estimate.  He said that the storm damage was extensive enough that we should make a claim on our insurance and get the roof replaced.  We took his advice and said that we would call our insurance company.

Then he gave some advice:

1.  Tell them it was "storm damage" and nothing else.  They will try to manipulate you into saying that it was wind or hail damage, then the adjuster will come out, look at the damage, and say; "That doesn't look like hail or wind damage."  And then they will deny your claim.

2.  Make them commit to a specific day and a specific time.  Once they find out you have a contractor involved the adjuster will try to show up without that contractor and then deny your claim and tell you not to worry with the contractor anymore.

It took my wife three phone calls and a week to finally get an adjuster out to look at our roof.  They kept saying; "It's our policy to declare either wind or hail damage, so which one is it?"

"Storm damage."  My wife would say.

"Would you say that was hail or wind damage during a storm?"

"I would say it was storm damage because that was what my contractor said it was."

"It's our policy to write either wind or hail."  The phone jockey would say.

"It's storm damage.  You're telling me you don't have a button on your computer for storm damage?"  My wife would reply.

When she finally got a specific date and time that an adjuster would be at our home she contacted the guy who would be doing the work for us.  She gave him the information and he said he would be there thrity minutes early.  When he showed up thirty mintes early, low and behold the adjuster pulled up right behind him!  Why?  It seems that it is also policy for the adjuster to come in early, look at your roof without the contractor and then tell you to call him and tell him not to come.  They will then deny your claim.

We FINALLY get our claim approved and the adjuster cuts us a check.  The only problem is that because it is for  X amount of dollars, he has to put our mortgage company on as a payee as well.  That's policy.  We will therefore have to get out mortgage company to endorse the check.

It takes my wife a further three phone calls to find out that our mortgage company does not have a branch in our entire state!  She will have to mail the check in, they will endorse it and then mail it back.  This will take 7 to 10 days.  Why?  Because that's their policy.

Another two phone calls and my wife discovers that they do have a branch not only in our state, but in our town!  She drives there today to get the check endorsed and then to our bank to deposit it.  Our bank won't accept it.  Why?  Because our mortgage company's policy is to put certain verbiage on the check that then makes it impossible for our bank to deposit because it's their policy not to accept a check with that verbiage on it.

"You do realize that we have been loyal customers for a decade now, and that I am trying to put money into our account right?"  My wife asked them.

"Sorry, it's...(say it with me boys and girls)...our policy!"

So my wife drives all the way over to our credit union, which has our car loan and savings account.  Will they take the check?  Sure, no problem at all.  Done.  Nice and easy.

Notice the only two businesses in this whole story that understand customer service--a private contractor and a small local credit union.  The faceless, monolithic, money grubbing, corporate jerks have no clue that they are dealing with people not policies and that these people are ultimately the reason that they are in business to begin with and able to stay in businees.  Well, that and government loans, tax breaks, and bail-outs, but that's another post altogether.

I think I will be giving my credit union my checking account now too.  Why?  Because I don't deal with companies that could care less about their customers.  That's my policy.

When I told my friend in Arizona that I had poison (whatever) she asked how I got it (with a suggestive tone).  Unfortunately I couldn't say that I got it while rolling around having wild sex in the glorious outdoors.  Not that I didn't have fun climbing up rocks just to jump off of them into the water. 

This weekend looms in front of me with the possibility of no plans.  Just a vague possibility of actually hearing from PB.  I have kind of given up hope on that though.  I have made peace with the fact that I probably wont be repaid.

I have a small fear that, due to my inexperience, I am not that great at sex.

I am also getting ready to be hit by my monthly storm, Hurricane PMS.  I always get such a "wonderful" assortment of side effects like flooding (tears), wind damage (irrational anger and irritation) and of course injuries (pain - in the boobs, sometimes I get random pinched nerves, headaches) and all of this before my period even arrives... yeah for women.

So all of this builds up to a pretty boring, blah, so so week.

Went to secondary school to collect my long-awaited testimonial... Geez, going back there makes you feel more mature and old(?)... Guess im gonna blog out what my cher has wrote it down, i got nothing else to blog bout today... So here it goes...

Interpersonal Skills:
A young man of a few words and one who may strike an initial picture of quiet calmness, Bronson transforms into a bubbly and comical personality once he is in his circle of close friends. Bronson is a good-natured and well-mannered young man who is always helpful towards his peers and teachers. His sefless and helpful nature makes his presence a blessing indeed. Bronson has grown in confidence throughout his years in school. He strives very hard to achieve his goals and will not waver when faced with setbacks, Bronson's humility in facing challages in order to improve, is heart-warming.
(I like how he used the word young man in this paragraph a couple of times)

Dua orang ibu-ibu mengayuh sampan mengarungi sungai yang tercipta dari aliran air laut yang membelah desa. Ibu-ibu yang perkasa itu hendak mencari kayu bakar ke ladangnya diperbatasan sungai. Aku sungguh ingin bersama mereka merasakan naik sampan. Kulihat sepanjang aliran kapal-kapal tertambat di bibir sungai. Kulihat pula sampan kecil bertengger, sebagian badannya terendam air. Kuungkapkan pada temanku kalau aku ingin sekali naik sampan itu.

Tak disangka, pemilik sampan itu ayah temanku. Aku berteriak padanya supaya membawaku dengan sampan itu berkeliling sungai. Dia benar-benar baik. Akupun dibawanya berkeliling dengan sampannya. Sesekali aku berteriak saat sampan oleng. Ternyata menjaga keseimbangan tubuh hal yang sangat penting saat bersampan ria jika tidak ingin nyebur ke sungai.

Sungguh benar-benar menyenangkan tak terkira berjalan di atas air. Terima kasih Mail, kau sudah memberiku kesan di hati. Terima kasih Allah... Engkau kabulkan keinginanku...

I am very sorry to the nurses out there but you gals totally suck at these things. I don't know what kind of antiseptic you put onto our skin and then injects us somewhere not on the spot? You gals put the needle and then pull it out as if it is sticking onto our skin forever. I thought nurses should service with a smile but there is only one nurse I see smiling, the rest are just pulling their long faces.

One of my classmate purposely strained his muscles so he kinda yelled and we were all laughing at him. Do you know there is a high chance that the needle can break inside your body? anyway, I feel a little dizzy after that stupid injection.

That kind of injection is about Tetanus Toxoid. Third Formers are supposed to get this injection, and IT IS FREE! No wonder the service was also very...

The aftermath of the injection was normally sick. Many of my classmates are sick today, like having fever, feeling noxious, feeling dizzy but they all make it to school. Bravo for them!

Anyway, prevention is better than cure! So, it is good for us to have this injection. I personally hope that the nurses will improve their SERVICE from worst to best! God bless!

mengapa kami memilih lokasi di gunung pancar??? itu karena, tema kelas kami untuk buku tahunan adalah bolang. dan kebetulan saya menjadi kepala suku untuk suku pedalaman. awalnya sih saya tidak mau, tapi setelah merenung kurang lebih satu menit saya setuju.

dan akhirnya pemotretan pun selesai, setelah kami lulus ujian kami pun mendapat buku tahunannya. dan hasilnya sangat bagus...