When all is said and done, even though he's a Satanist, I prefer GAAHL to these wimpy boy journalists any day. At least he's his own man. "That is the force of all life. It is to grow." No offense, but Amen, Gaahl. So why can't these guys grow up?

If you are coming to Nikolaev and need help getting around the city and would like to learn more about Nikolaev and the surrounding cities, feel free to contact us at 380512-47-69-70, 38097-956-22-68. Our email here is billgreen54@gmail.com or you can find me at Skype billgreen54

When you come to Nikolaev we would love to buy you a cup of coffee.

In todays technological world, it seems normal to use every avenue for communication. Using the Internet to meet people has changed our lives forever.

I first met Larisa on a dating web site in December, 2006 just after my return trip from Saint Petersburg, Russia. I had seen her on the web site before but, was in a cyberspace relationship at the time. I didn't give her any thought for several reasons. She didn't speak English, she was 19 years younger than me, she lived in Nikolaev, Ukraine and she was WAY TOO PRETTY for me.

It all started one morning when I arrived at work. I used the computer everyday and on occasion would open a window to say hello to a few friends between customers and phone calls. Thank heavens I worked for myself at the time, otherwise I should have been fired a long time ago........

Thursday night though I got a text to say that the lead man in this night out had other plans for Friday so could it be Saturday night instead? Sure was my response although I preferred the idea of going out after work as it meant not having to travel back in to the city.

I had my haircut on Friday night in preparation and was doing an okay job of summoning the courage to not get too scared and back out. I thought I might go with the same intention I had last week of just going for an hour or too and if, like last time that stretched to five hours or more that would be good too.

But come lunchtime today though I got another message from the lead man saying he wasn't feeling well so had to cancel.

So I'm still home and will have to wait for another opportunity, another invite.

I still have Monday night's trip to the movies to look forward to I guess.

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Many people have a problem fully understanding how to use the Internet. The Internet is still the wild west as far as the experts are concerned. Guess what? The Internet will always be the WILD WEST! The day people will be able to say they have finally developed the Internet for everyone to understand, will never come.

If you are searching for someone to love anywhere including in another country, remember a few things. While you learn about each other, you cannot know each other. Everything you know about someone you met on the Internet is based on what they have told you. Honesty and trust can only be earned by actions and deeds only after you have met each other in person and a lot of time. This is just the start of a journey that can take both of you anywhere including around the world.

Anyway, I just had one of those nights that makes me feel that 1) God, I'm old and 2) God, I need to get the hell out of this godforsaken city!!  I made the rounds of the bars in downtown LA tonight with T. and her fiance K. as my diligent wingpeople.  We scoped out any eligible bachelors, they encouraged me at every turn, and yet at every turn it seemed that I was kicked out of the game by girls more beautiful than I, who were 6-7 years my junior.   Could it get more depressing?

I know what you're going to say: SF, why are you even trying to meet a guy in a bar anyway?  Well, I agree that's not the ideal place to meet someone, but at the same time I think it's just a microcosm of the dating scene as a whole, online dating included.  Why would a guy date me when he can date my younger, hotter counterpart? 

And I know pessimism won't get me anywhere but I just can't help but feel that he's NOT really out there and that I am looking fruitlessly for nothing.  

I am almos t desperate to leave L.A.  But where, dear readers, should I go?

NOTE: the formula gives a "BEFORE WARP" stardate because star dates come do not come into existance until the year 2323 (when it is rumored that warp technology was invented, and hence the need for a time system which takes into account time distortion, subspace anomalies, etc).

It use the following formula:

Take a date such as December 20, 2370 13:12 hrs

YY = 2370 - 2323 = 47
DDD = (334+20)/365*1000 =~ 969
T = (13*60+12)/144 =~ .6

StarDate = 47969.6

The procedure is:

1. subtract 2323 from the current year.
2. use a special table to get the total # of days that have passed. Divide this number by 365 or 366, then multiply by 1000. Round to the nearest whole digit.
3. Multiply the hours by 60 and add the minutes. Divide this number by 144. Round this number.
4. Stardate!

I have compared notes with friends who are single and those who are single moms and it seems that the list is almost always the same.

Lets have a look at them, and in no particular order of "keep away at 100 km radius" category:

Category 1 - Married men - I would vote this one as topping the list. You meet them while transit at the airport, chatting up to them at the bar over a few wines, bumped into them a few times during lunch. Your exchanged glances stayed too long. Smiles locked from across the tables. You took a sneak peek at the finger for the "ring test". No ring. Great, you thought. Nope. Do not be deceived. The Ring Test is merely a preliminary test. You need to grind more questions and pry more to make sure he is really single and available. Some married men do not wear rings at all. And they look single and available. They even act single and available. They even go further by telling you that you can call them anytime of the day to prove that they are not with anyone that resembles a GF or a wife.

Or they just simply tell you that they are married, not happy and they are looking for companionship. The ball is in your court. Do you ping them back? Make a quick escape? Well, Girlfriends, I am telling you, the minute The Married Man got caught by the wife and threatens with child custody, he will leave you faster than the lightning.

Category 2 - Separated men - same as Category 1 but not quite. This is a man who has just found his freedom and looking for companionship, without the guilt of a married man. I will point out that it is not necessary bad to date men who are separated, but ask all the "important" questions, like, how long ago was he separated? Is this separation temporary, or just waiting for courts papers to clear the hurdle? I have dated a man who was divorced for 4 whole years. He has 2 sons who inherits his good looks and personality. Things went quite well till the year end came and he and his ex wife decided to get back together. What a luck. The Separated Guy can be fun to be with and may even lead to a satisfaying relationships provided he is letting go of his past baggages and is open to new love and relationships again.

Category 3 - men who is mentally and physically abusive - Yea. Definitely another chart topper. He will undermine your capabilities and abilities. He picks your dresses, choose what to order from the menu, rough you around, has no respect towards your wish, picks on your opinions and basically just make you feel like shit. But you stayed on, hoping and wishing that towards the end of the day, he will change because he loves you. Because you gave him access to sex when he wants, how he wants them. Mr Abusive will not change. It is ingrained in every bit of his soul that it is okay to treat women like so. And if he had a son, he will demonstrate to him that it is okay to treat women like that as well because women deserve it. And the patten runs.

So, ladies. There you are. 3 categories of men that you should not date. If you did, enter at your own peril. Dont say I didnt warn you.

fuck me.

i'm such a dumbass....

Max Power / Corbis

In her 30 years of counseling couples, Mira Kirshenbaum has discerned 17 reasons that people have extramarital affairs. In a near majority of couples, one partner will cheat on the other at some point. In her new book, When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships (St. Martin's), Kirshenbaum explains the reasons and offers some helpful — and sometimes surprising — advice on how to manage the consequences. TIME senior reporter Andrea Sachs reached Kirshenbaum at her office in Boston:

TIME: Is there a pattern in the way that affairs begin?

Mira Kirshenbaum: People say, "I never meant for this to happen." They're being honest when they say that. Typically, they're in a committed relationship, but they aren't perfectly happy. No one who was perfectly happy in their primary relationship gets into a second one. They're a lot unhappy, or maybe just a little. Maybe they have no plans to cheat. And then the other person somehow floats onto their radar screen. The image that I have is like someone who has been wandering around with a couple of empty wine glasses who suddenly meets someone with a bottle of wine. And so they want a little taste. It starts very innocently. Very slowly they get to know each other. It's often an emotional affair to begin with. Maybe they have long conversations, whatever. However it happens, eventually they realize that they've crossed some sort of line. But they realize it after they've crossed it. And it feels wonderful because it was a line they were hungry to cross. But it also feels terrible because they know it's cheating, and they know they never wanted to be a cheater. But it keeps going. Think about it. If you don't want to divorce, and there are many reasons people don't — for the children, for financial reasons, they don't want the stigma of a divorce — this is a way people cope. They have the illusion that no one will know. If I get a divorce, it's a public act and everyone will know that my marriage failed, that I'm a failure. But if I have an affair, I'm able to pretend that everything's O.K. and no one will get hurt. So they find themselves involved in the two relationships and it looks as though it could work. And the guilt seems manageable. And they're not really thinking about the future. They feel like they've got this wonderful, wonderful present, and it seems to solve all their problems.

TIME: Can that last?

It never lasts. It can't. Being in two relationships is inherently unsustainable. It's like a house of cards. And the longer it keeps going, the more likely it is to come crashing down. And then the pressure mounts and the central structure is that three-way tug of war. The person who is cheating is just trying to keep everything stable, the same, not changing anything. The two other people, the lover and the spouse, are putting pressure on, if the spouse knows about it. If the spouse doesn't, she still is wanting more time, more fun. She puts pressure on anyway.

TIME: Do most people get caught?

Yes. Inevitably there are slip-ups. In the stories I hear, they find a gift in a pocket of a coat and they think it's for them and they're so excited, and then they never get the gift. I mean, it's just heartbreaking. So it all blows up eventually.

TIME: Should you confess if you feel guilty about it?

No. I've got to tell you that this is very, very important. I'm a person who is just an advocate of truth. I really will do anything to tell the truth, so it took me a long time to get to the point where I say, just don't tell. Because how does it make a person less guilty to inflict terrible pain on someone? Which is exactly what the confession does. It puts the other person in a permanent state of hurt and grief and loss of trust and an inability to feel safe, and it doesn't alleviate your guilt. Your relationship is dealt a potentially devastating blow. Honesty is great, but it's an abstract moral principle.... The higher moral principle, I believe, is not hurting people. And when you confess to having an affair, you are hurting someone more than you can ever imagine. So I tell people, if you care that much about honesty, figure out who you want to be with, commit to that relationship and devote the rest of your life to making it the most honest relationship you can. But confessing your affair is the kind of honesty that is unnecessarily destructive. There are two huge exceptions to not telling: if you're having an affair and you haven't practiced safe sex, even if it's only one time, you have to tell. Again, the moral principle is minimizing the hurt. But this time, the greatest risk of hurt comes from inflicting a sexually transmitted disease, and I've never seen a relationship recover from that. You also have to tell if discovery is imminent or likely. If you're going to be found out, then it's better for you to be the one to make the confession first.

Before I did this research, I really thought that affairs were fatal for relationships, but they're not. It all depends on how you deal with it, and that's why I have two sections in the book on how to repair and rebuild and heal the hurts. You need all of that. But if the person who has been cheated on has a talent for forgiveness and the cheater is truly sorry — this is one of the surprising findings — many, many people are able to use the affair as a wake-up call and end up so much happier with a relationship that gives them what they need, instead of just being on automatic and pretending that everything's O.K.

TIME: Do people who decide, during an affair, to leave their marriage often end up staying with the person they cheated with, or is that just a way of getting out of the relationship?

There are 17 reasons people have affairs, and you've just talked about one of them. I call it the Ejector Seat affair. People use the relationship as a way to get out of the marriage. That is a real reason. They're afraid to leave the marriage, and they're hoping that an affair will end things. Either the spouse will kick them out or the lover will give them the courage to quit.

TIME: Let's talk about some of the others. What is the See-If affair?

If your motive is to see if what you've been missing in your marriage can be gotten with someone else, and if so does it make as much of a difference as you thought, then you're in a See-If affair.

TIME: What about the Heating Up Your Marriage affair?

This is subconscious for people. They don't actively say, "I'm going to go and heat up my marriage." But unconsciously they're hoping that either the affair itself or their spouse finding out about it will make things more passionate in the relationship.

TIME: Is that a good strategy?

Well, none of these are great strategies, but you have to assume that there's a hidden wisdom. People are coping. People are doing the best they can. There's something they're hungry for and they're not getting it in life. And an affair is a way for people to try to get what they're needing.

TIME: What about the I Just Needed to Indulge Myself affair?

Look, it may not be noble, but the fact is that some people work so hard and they really don't know how to take care of themselves and give to themselves. And an affair occurs to them as the best way they know how to give themselves some pleasure. You don't really think very highly of someone like that, but there are people like that.

TIME: I'm intrigued by the Let's Kill this Relationship and See if It Comes Back to Life affair. What is that?

This happens unconsciously also. The idea is that once an affair is discovered, it will deliver a blow that will either kill your relationship or make it stronger. And it often does. The sex becomes much more passionate for some people.

TIME: The Having Experiences I Missed Out On affair?

This is true for a lot of women who weren't in many relationships before they got married — men as well — [who] feel there are experiences that are important that they missed out on. And an affair is the best way they can think of to get those experiences.

TIME: Let's take the last one. How about a mid-marriage crisis affair?

Without time and attention, marriages get stale or feel full of problems. They're tired and frustrated with their marriages and not knowing what else to do. You have an affair. It's about the stage the marriage is in. And the way we live today. Everyday life is terrible for love. Love needs time, and time is the air love breathes, and people have no time. On the weekends, they're running around schlepping, doing all kinds of things. And where do you have the time you had when you were falling in love? It just doesn't exist for people anymore.

TIME: What do you say to someone who comes to you and says, "I can't choose; I don't know who to stay with"?

If you want to work with me, O.K., first accept the fact that your view of your lover and your spouse are both skewed. Things always seem great with the lover, it's always so romantic and sexy, special, sporadic and, most of all, new and exciting. But guess what? New gets old. I wish I had a nickel for everyone who married their lover and found they replicated what they had with their spouse, with the added poverty of a post-divorce lifestyle. And in the same way, spouses are usually not as bad as they seem. After all, the person who is cheating is withdrawing energy from their marriage and has alleviated their guilt by bad-mouthing or bad-thinking their spouse. But when people work on their marriage and put the lover by the wayside, they're often very surprised at how much things can improve. Another piece of advice I'd say is, lovers are often little more than the crowbar you needed to get out of your marriage, but you don't need to marry the crowbar. That's a mistake a lot of people make. They feel so guilty, they then marry the person they had the affair with.

TIME: Are you still optimistic about marriage after hearing so many bad stories?

Oh, sure. Just because people have problems doesn't mean they can't solve their problems. It's a terrible way to have to wake up, but I work with so many couples who've gone through all of the stages and come out the other end in a much better place than they ever were, especially if they don't tell. And the problem with telling is that you're then taking all of the time in therapy and in your life where you should be focusing on making the relationship the best it can be. You spend it just talking about the past. [But] no one can change the past.

Max Power / Corbis

In her 30 years of counseling couples, Mira Kirshenbaum has discerned 17 reasons that people have extramarital affairs. In a near majority of couples, one partner will cheat on the other at some point. In her new book, When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships (St. Martin's), Kirshenbaum explains the reasons and offers some helpful — and sometimes surprising — advice on how to manage the consequences. TIME senior reporter Andrea Sachs reached Kirshenbaum at her office in Boston:

TIME: Is there a pattern in the way that affairs begin?

Mira Kirshenbaum: People say, "I never meant for this to happen." They're being honest when they say that. Typically, they're in a committed relationship, but they aren't perfectly happy. No one who was perfectly happy in their primary relationship gets into a second one. They're a lot unhappy, or maybe just a little. Maybe they have no plans to cheat. And then the other person somehow floats onto their radar screen. The image that I have is like someone who has been wandering around with a couple of empty wine glasses who suddenly meets someone with a bottle of wine. And so they want a little taste. It starts very innocently. Very slowly they get to know each other. It's often an emotional affair to begin with. Maybe they have long conversations, whatever. However it happens, eventually they realize that they've crossed some sort of line. But they realize it after they've crossed it. And it feels wonderful because it was a line they were hungry to cross. But it also feels terrible because they know it's cheating, and they know they never wanted to be a cheater. But it keeps going. Think about it. If you don't want to divorce, and there are many reasons people don't — for the children, for financial reasons, they don't want the stigma of a divorce — this is a way people cope. They have the illusion that no one will know. If I get a divorce, it's a public act and everyone will know that my marriage failed, that I'm a failure. But if I have an affair, I'm able to pretend that everything's O.K. and no one will get hurt. So they find themselves involved in the two relationships and it looks as though it could work. And the guilt seems manageable. And they're not really thinking about the future. They feel like they've got this wonderful, wonderful present, and it seems to solve all their problems.

TIME: Can that last?

It never lasts. It can't. Being in two relationships is inherently unsustainable. It's like a house of cards. And the longer it keeps going, the more likely it is to come crashing down. And then the pressure mounts and the central structure is that three-way tug of war. The person who is cheating is just trying to keep everything stable, the same, not changing anything. The two other people, the lover and the spouse, are putting pressure on, if the spouse knows about it. If the spouse doesn't, she still is wanting more time, more fun. She puts pressure on anyway.

TIME: Do most people get caught?

Yes. Inevitably there are slip-ups. In the stories I hear, they find a gift in a pocket of a coat and they think it's for them and they're so excited, and then they never get the gift. I mean, it's just heartbreaking. So it all blows up eventually.

TIME: Should you confess if you feel guilty about it?

No. I've got to tell you that this is very, very important. I'm a person who is just an advocate of truth. I really will do anything to tell the truth, so it took me a long time to get to the point where I say, just don't tell. Because how does it make a person less guilty to inflict terrible pain on someone? Which is exactly what the confession does. It puts the other person in a permanent state of hurt and grief and loss of trust and an inability to feel safe, and it doesn't alleviate your guilt. Your relationship is dealt a potentially devastating blow. Honesty is great, but it's an abstract moral principle.... The higher moral principle, I believe, is not hurting people. And when you confess to having an affair, you are hurting someone more than you can ever imagine. So I tell people, if you care that much about honesty, figure out who you want to be with, commit to that relationship and devote the rest of your life to making it the most honest relationship you can. But confessing your affair is the kind of honesty that is unnecessarily destructive. There are two huge exceptions to not telling: if you're having an affair and you haven't practiced safe sex, even if it's only one time, you have to tell. Again, the moral principle is minimizing the hurt. But this time, the greatest risk of hurt comes from inflicting a sexually transmitted disease, and I've never seen a relationship recover from that. You also have to tell if discovery is imminent or likely. If you're going to be found out, then it's better for you to be the one to make the confession first.

Before I did this research, I really thought that affairs were fatal for relationships, but they're not. It all depends on how you deal with it, and that's why I have two sections in the book on how to repair and rebuild and heal the hurts. You need all of that. But if the person who has been cheated on has a talent for forgiveness and the cheater is truly sorry — this is one of the surprising findings — many, many people are able to use the affair as a wake-up call and end up so much happier with a relationship that gives them what they need, instead of just being on automatic and pretending that everything's O.K.

TIME: Do people who decide, during an affair, to leave their marriage often end up staying with the person they cheated with, or is that just a way of getting out of the relationship?

There are 17 reasons people have affairs, and you've just talked about one of them. I call it the Ejector Seat affair. People use the relationship as a way to get out of the marriage. That is a real reason. They're afraid to leave the marriage, and they're hoping that an affair will end things. Either the spouse will kick them out or the lover will give them the courage to quit.

TIME: Let's talk about some of the others. What is the See-If affair?

If your motive is to see if what you've been missing in your marriage can be gotten with someone else, and if so does it make as much of a difference as you thought, then you're in a See-If affair.

TIME: What about the Heating Up Your Marriage affair?

This is subconscious for people. They don't actively say, "I'm going to go and heat up my marriage." But unconsciously they're hoping that either the affair itself or their spouse finding out about it will make things more passionate in the relationship.

TIME: Is that a good strategy?

Well, none of these are great strategies, but you have to assume that there's a hidden wisdom. People are coping. People are doing the best they can. There's something they're hungry for and they're not getting it in life. And an affair is a way for people to try to get what they're needing.

TIME: What about the I Just Needed to Indulge Myself affair?

Look, it may not be noble, but the fact is that some people work so hard and they really don't know how to take care of themselves and give to themselves. And an affair occurs to them as the best way they know how to give themselves some pleasure. You don't really think very highly of someone like that, but there are people like that.

TIME: I'm intrigued by the Let's Kill this Relationship and See if It Comes Back to Life affair. What is that?

This happens unconsciously also. The idea is that once an affair is discovered, it will deliver a blow that will either kill your relationship or make it stronger. And it often does. The sex becomes much more passionate for some people.

TIME: The Having Experiences I Missed Out On affair?

This is true for a lot of women who weren't in many relationships before they got married — men as well — [who] feel there are experiences that are important that they missed out on. And an affair is the best way they can think of to get those experiences.

TIME: Let's take the last one. How about a mid-marriage crisis affair?

Without time and attention, marriages get stale or feel full of problems. They're tired and frustrated with their marriages and not knowing what else to do. You have an affair. It's about the stage the marriage is in. And the way we live today. Everyday life is terrible for love. Love needs time, and time is the air love breathes, and people have no time. On the weekends, they're running around schlepping, doing all kinds of things. And where do you have the time you had when you were falling in love? It just doesn't exist for people anymore.

TIME: What do you say to someone who comes to you and says, "I can't choose; I don't know who to stay with"?

If you want to work with me, O.K., first accept the fact that your view of your lover and your spouse are both skewed. Things always seem great with the lover, it's always so romantic and sexy, special, sporadic and, most of all, new and exciting. But guess what? New gets old. I wish I had a nickel for everyone who married their lover and found they replicated what they had with their spouse, with the added poverty of a post-divorce lifestyle. And in the same way, spouses are usually not as bad as they seem. After all, the person who is cheating is withdrawing energy from their marriage and has alleviated their guilt by bad-mouthing or bad-thinking their spouse. But when people work on their marriage and put the lover by the wayside, they're often very surprised at how much things can improve. Another piece of advice I'd say is, lovers are often little more than the crowbar you needed to get out of your marriage, but you don't need to marry the crowbar. That's a mistake a lot of people make. They feel so guilty, they then marry the person they had the affair with.

TIME: Are you still optimistic about marriage after hearing so many bad stories?

Oh, sure. Just because people have problems doesn't mean they can't solve their problems. It's a terrible way to have to wake up, but I work with so many couples who've gone through all of the stages and come out the other end in a much better place than they ever were, especially if they don't tell. And the problem with telling is that you're then taking all of the time in therapy and in your life where you should be focusing on making the relationship the best it can be. You spend it just talking about the past. [But] no one can change the past.

Last week I went on a trip with my residents to the Houston Museum of Natural Science.  We visited the Cockrell Butterfly Center exhibit to be exact.  I really like the HMNS.  I've been there quite a few times to see various exhibits.  If you're in Houston-check out the museum and see what neat-o things they have going on.  www.hmns.org

The trip to the Butterfly Center was something that the residents (senior citizens) had requested.  And since I live to make their lives wonderful-I do what they tell me.  The Butterfly Center consists of a children's area with big plastic bugs and stuffed bugs and kiddy stuff, a more scientific exhibit with dead bugs.  Ya know the dead bugs on stick pins with fancy labels.  And then there's the actual indoor garden area with hundreds of butterflies flying around.  Fun stuff for any age.  I was able to capture some pics of the butterflies.  Wanna see?  No-my blog post is too boring for you?  Oh, ok.  Well, I'll post them anyway.  So there!

His name is Jim.  He enjoys tracking the stock market and is thinking about flipping houses to make some extra money.

Mik likes to exercise.  He is constantly trying to out do the guy on the treadmill next to him.  As you can see he recently over did it at the gym and lost a chunk of his right wing. 

Bruce is the strong, silent type.  The ladies love his ability to express himself without seeming too feminine.  Needless to say he likes to play the field.  Don't worry Bruce you'll find the girl of your dreams one of these days.  Hopefully soon though as your lifespan is a mere week.  Oh-you didn't know that.  Sorry.

Kirk is a 'metro sexual.'  He is constantly checking his wings in the mirror and freaks out when one of his antennas gets wrinkled.  As well as being overly concerned with his looks he also enjoys photography.  His favorite subject-himself, of course. 

Look familiar?  Pierre is the distant cousin of Mik.  And I do mean distant.  While Mik is more of a mans man, Pierre tends to be very retrospective about his life.  He knows it will be short and wants to spend his time adding to the world in a positive light. 

Sup Bryan?  His close friends call him Buzz.  Bryan is a sports freak.  And if he's not at home watching the game he's probably at the local bar...watching the game.  He thinks about sports 24/7.  His friends would get him some professional help if it weren't for the fact that he was going to die in 27 hours.  Sorry Bryan.

This is Dave.  Dave wouldn't tell me anything about himself.  He said that blogs are a waste of time and that I need to get a life.  He was a total grouch and wanted nothing to do with anyone.  Whatever Dave.  Did your Mother tell you that you're going to die in two days?  Oh no?  Sorry Dave.

What a sweetheart this guy is.  Liam was excited to hear about my blog and even more excited to hear that I'd be bloggin about him!  He's not into himself, but wanted me to be able to get a good representation of his species.  What a guy!  Liam is also chair of the book club.  His all-time favorite book is, In the Time of the Butterflies, by Julia Alvarez. 

Wayne holds the musical talent of the group.  He enjoys playing both the piano and the trumpet.  He has also composed music that was selected for a photo journalistic documentary about what else...butterflies.  He's also been know to bust out a few ghetto raps once in a while after a few beers. 

Like his intricate wing pattern, Gary has a complicated life.  He is trying to get custody of his 821 children from his crazy ex-wife, Jessica.  She cheated on him with his friend Bruce.  Yes, the same Gary that likes to smooth talk ladies.  Bruce is also trying to advance his career as a graphic designer and lower his cholesterol.

Xander is so good with words.  He is a published poet and is also collaborating with Vince Gill on a few country songs that you might hear in his upcoming album.  Xander is also a strong believer in astrology.  Xander is a Scorpio and lives up to his sign by being a loyal-compassionate butterfly. 

Issac is what I refer to as a punk.  Don't let his graceful exterior fool you.  Issac is one of the teenagers of the bunch.  And we all know what that means.  Rolling eyes, tattoos, sexual experimentation, and loud music.  This is a rare shot of him without his ear buds in.  His favorite band is Violent Femmes. 

Benjamin is the last butterfly that I spoke with on the day of my visit.  He had been trying to avoid my camera all day.  He's a humble butterfly who doesn't want to talk about himself.  He did tell me a bit about his family and historical home that they are remodeling.  He's trying to improve a neighborhood that's been overlooked for years.  As well as home remodeling he loves to volunteer at the local animal shelter.  He's a very philanthropic individual. 

All in all. I had a nice time visiting with the butterflies at the Cockrell Butterfly Center.  Some were more willing to chat than others...  And for some reason they were all males.  I assume that the women of the center were busy birthing babies, cleaning up around the house,  cooking brownies, and whatever else it is that the perfect house wife does.  Believe it or not-butterflies lead a rather 1950's lifestyle.  

J

]]> http://darkfairytinkerbella.wordpress.com/?p=7 Sat, 26 Jul 2008 03:26:34 +0000 darkfairytinkerbella http://darkfairytinkerbella.wordpress.com/?p=7 I was reading Mariel Hemingway's book finding my balance and I've heard this many times before in one version or another. About what it's like when we find our soul mates. I've always heard that time stops or slows down and you instantly know you are going to marry that person one day. And that's exactly the way I felt when I met my fiancé. I first saw him 7 almost 8 years ago. We went to the same school. He was walking out of the building and all of a sudden it was like time just stopped or slowed down and all I could focus on was him. I remember thinking to myself in a passing thought it was nothing I said out loud that one day I was going to Marry him. It seemed odd to me because that was the first time I saw him I hadn't even spoken to him at that point so it seemed strange me thinking I would marry him. But then I kept seeing him at school and then I thought to myself well the only way I'll talk to him is if I see him away from school and I prayed to the lord "if I'm meant to be with this man and if I really am meant to marry him then please let me see him somewhere else so that I can talk to him." Well I was out with some friends one night and we went to Oberweis to get some ice cream. Out of nowhere there he is coming out of the bathroom leaving oberweiss and passed right by us. So that next Monday I spoke to him. We where friends for a year and then we started dating. Now that I ponder it is really does seem like it was all meant to be. I feel like every time I pray about it I get the same answer that he is my soul mate and he is the one.

]]> http://tasithoughts.wordpress.com/?p=846 Sat, 26 Jul 2008 03:22:31 +0000 tasithoughts http://tasithoughts.wordpress.com/?p=846  

I am humbled today by the passing away by a man who has touched my life so deeply. His name is Frank Pausch. He is the world famous professor who caught Internet fame for his lecture that he gave at Carnegie Mellon University as part of the traditional Last Lecture series there.

He presented a moving philosophy on life as he faced terminal pancreatic cancer and made it a love song to his children.  It literally caught You Tube frenzy ( viewed 3.2 million times) inspired a book, several appearances on talk shows like Oprah and a whole movement of inspiring talks and lectures.

Pausch's courage in facing death and his prioritizing of life was an inspiration millions, including me.  I have his book by my nightstand that I reread. It touches a chord in me that brings a clarity to my life that I needed.

He was only given six months to live when he was diagnosed back in August 2007.  He beat those odds. 

At the end of his lecture he states,  "It's not about how to achieve your dreams. It's about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you."

He loved his wife Jai and his three children, Dylan, Logan and Chloe. He wanted to make sure that he left his children memories of him or least images and his his thoughts and love for them. That is why he gave the lecture.  We all benefited from this dying father's love for his children.

As an encore,  here is that great man, Randy Pausch's Last Lecture.  We have a lost a bright light in the world.  May his words continue to inspire us to live as he taught us by example and with courage.

The Last lecture Offcial Site : www.thelastlecture.com/

As I noted in the other post, Mrs. Blue just doesn't have the same level of the celebrity lust thing that most of us do, and her list is, therefore, far too small to get to ten. However, because I am a creative sort who finds all sorts of ways to get around his wife's lack of time to guest-post here, I am going to present to you her top five "menzes" that she'd step out on me for, the three that she has already mentioned and two more that I am twisting her arm to generate. Then I'll provide my top five suggestions for men I would, regrettably, also allow her to sin with if she had the chance. Hopefully, she'd come back to me after sowing her oats, but she's made it pretty clear that a couple of the guys in her picks could push me out of the picture entirely.

(Yes, I've clearly been on a more sex-oriented kick this week and less of the pseudo-scholarly ramblings. Even my other post that I'll be doing later tonight has sexual overtones, though from a more moralistic standpoint.)

Mrs. Blue's Picks

Benicio del Toro

Even Mrs. Blue admits he's not a classic "looker," but she digs his deep thoughts. I think that it would be hard for him to steal my wife away entirely because, based on the interviews I've read featuring him, he's almost too deep. The only real-life man who ever posed a real threat to me winning Mrs. Blue's heart suffered from similar "too-deepness." Sometimes, having too much intellect is just too much pressure for the other person unless he or she is an academician. But even beyond Benicio's mental sexiness, I admit that I can see something in his eyes that would draw women in: The brooding, almost melancholy smouldering look that almost seems sleepy but also somehow says, "I want you, and I can have you, and you know it. Come to me now."

Terrence Howard

Not a man who is necessarily "classically" handsome in that chiseled beefcake style or perfect facial features, but someone who just has a package that exudes masculine sensuality. There is something of the stalker in him, and I don't mean the creepy "I'm outside your window looking at you" kind but the type of man who might prowl through a nightclub, capturing the eyes of most of the women, the hearts of those he actual engages in conversation or dance, and the actual time of one or more of them back at his place. My wife freely jests that he seems to do a little too well in film roles that have him as a man who might (or does) smack a woman across the face from time to time. But we all know that dangerous-seeming men and women have their own allure. And I have faith Mrs. Blue could block any backhand attempt or return it in kind.

Rick Fox

I don't know if my wife had a thing for this guy before we rented Meet the Browns a week or two ago, but she made it abundantly clear to me while watching him steam it up with Angela Bassett (who made my top 10 list of women, by the way, if you don't recall) that I could kiss our marriage goodbye if he declared amorous intentions toward her. He's a handsome man, I'll grant that, but my son says he looks "kind of goofy," so I find myself wondering if it's really his looks that got my wife steamed up. Or is it his voice (she's a sucker for aural stimulation) and the way he so deftly projects a vibe that exhibits masculinity and sensitivity?

Roger Guenveur Smith

My wife still calls this guy "Mr. Monroe" and I don't remember in which movie he played a character with that name, but she reminded me years ago when we were watching Get On the Bus (in which he played the character Gary) that he was one fine piece of man and that I should despair for our marriage if he ever called her up. I could give Mrs. Blue all sorts of hell for digging an actor so much while still not knowing his name, but then again, if she got him alone in a room, she'd probably make him forget his own name.

Morris Chestnut

OK, this guy isn't actually my wife's pick, but that of Hawa, who authors the blog Fackin Truth. She had thrown his name out there as a male sexpot, and since my wife couldn't come up with a fifth, we'll just go with Hawa on this one. I approve of him if for no other reason than he's bald (like me) and rocks a goatee (as I do about half the year; full beard the other half of the time). Got his start in Boyz n the Hood, a fine movie if I do say so, and apparently he's an excellent Texas hold em player. My wife always did harbor dreams of becoming a pro gambler (or a bounty hunter)...

My Picks

George Clooney

Look, first of all, my wife's list is short on racial diversity based on personal preferences (I'm an exception to her normal predilections), so I have to balance things out a bit for my racially mixed readership. Also, George Clooney is consistently voted as, and widely considered to be, one of the sexiest guys around, and he's young enough for me to still consider him acceptable for my wife (otherwise, it might have been Sean Connery in this slot instead). I know that it's become such a truism that George is suave, self-assured, accessible, friendly, cool and good-looking that it's almost a cliché now. But still, he is a man that is so cool that even if he stole my wife, I might be willing to be drinking buddies with him afterward.

Kurt Elling

Another white guy, but Kurt Elling transcends race in many ways. He's soulful, he's one of the most talented jazz vocalists alive, and he earns the respect of not just white folks but also many black artists in jazz—and in hip-hop and R&B (even crusty underground rapper M.F. Doom listed him as one of only maybe 5 or 6 musical artists that he didn't consider "whack"). Also, he's married to a black woman (with whom Mrs. Blue is acquainted, actually) so I know he isn't carrying a ton of racial baggage that might lead him to be an ass with Mrs. Blue inadvertently. This is a man I'd choose for my wife because of sheer talent and seeming emotional depth, and not because of looks. Because, while he ain't ugly by any stretch, he isn't exactly going to be on any beefcake-style posters either.

Common

This is actually my son's pick. Mrs. Blue doesn't feel any particular tingle for the guy, but she has admitted to our son that he's a handsome guy, and he does have both musical talent and some potential acting talent. So, like with my inclusion of Scarlett Johanssen in my list based on my son's taste, I'll do the same with Common here. He's got a listtle activist in him, and that is something that appeals to Mrs. Blue's sensibilities, and he's stayed true to Trinity United Church of Christ, of which he is a member last I heard, even after the media brouhaha over Pastor Rev. Jeremiah Wright that prompted Barack Obama to jump ship. That's one thing that Mrs. Blue still hasn't really forgiven Obama for, though she's still going to vote for him.

Laurence Fishburne

I had briefly considered putting Denzel Washington on this list, but according to my son, the man done "plumped up a bit." Not that such a thing would be unheard of in Hollywood for an upcoming role, but I don't know. My wife just spent two years getting off excess maternity weight and adopting a pretty healthy lifestyle, and Denzel can be kind of stiff anyway sometimes, so despite being handsome and talented, I have to nix him. But Laurence Fishburne has always struck me as "Denzel-like" in terms of being serious, having great talent and seeming to be thoughtful and intelligent as well. He isn't as handsome as Denzel is (or was, if my son's dispersions are correct), but he's still good looking. So, he makes my personal "final five" for Mrs. Blue.

Christian Bale

Look, I'm still trying to keep the races somewhat balanced here. Would have loved to add an Asian man for good measure, but I can't think of a single celebrity of Asian descent that would remotely mesh with my wife. And I'm not coming up with too many Latino hunks that I think would either; we'll have to leave it with Benicio del Toro for that. So, another white guy to finish out the list. Christian Bale is classically good looking, is currently sporting a very nice-looking physique in The Dark Knight (and did in Batman Begins, too), and he is a great talent. Moreover, he owns both the Bruce Wayne and Batman sides of his role. My son and I are big Batman fans, and so the next best thing to putting Batman on the list is putting Christian on it (and since I picked a Batman-related character in my list of hotties—Catwoman—it seems like nice corollary to have a Batman-related celebrity in Mrs. Blue's list).

(Thank you to AlexandraF @ 20SomethingBloggers for sending me the link.)

Miss Eye2Wild presents a simple concept: If “she” is happy, then everyone is happy. At first glance, it sounded fair enough.  It only made sense that you would want to make your special person happy.  Right?

I think newly weds StaticMonkey and blissful couple Mr. and Ms. HautePocket would agree that their men strive to fill their relationships with joy.  However, when I read the entire article I couldn't help but feel a bit irritated.  Is this dating advice or terror tactics?  You must make your woman happy and bend over backwards in order to be successful in a relationship?

Here is an example of one of her rules:

"Do everything her way and you’ll have no problems. (this is a no-brainer)"

Um... Aren't relationships meant to be a two way street?  Shouldn't couples communicate and at times compromise?  I don't really need to dissect this article any further, because you are free to read it for yourself.  I suspect that the author may have written this to stir up controversy or perhaps it was a stab at hilarious satire.  However, the comments left by many female readers seemed to wholeheartedly agree.

I would like to ask my female readers, do you agree with Miss Eye2Wild?

What Men Think of Eye2Wild's "Men:Will You Ever Learn?"
Please take your man's testicles out of the freezer and reattach them before PETA accuses you of mistreating your lap dog of boyfriend/husband.   (Maybe she's single?  That would be quite hilarious.)

Upon their successful first album, The Dø has just released their second music video 'At last'. Watch out for oranges, because you get many of them in this video. The story revolve around people in the dance floor with unwhole oranges trying to find the remainding half/ perfect match. The smart thing is that the video points out the 'perfect match' dose not necessarily be who you want it to be. You see people fighting just to try to squeeze their oranges to make it fit. Of course, the perfect match may also be of the same sex or a totally different age group, because there are no rules.