"In most cases, according to scriptures and legend, it happened in a flash. Mohammed fasting and meditating on a mountainside near Mecca and-flash!-ecstasy, vast revelation and the beginning of Islam. Zoroaster hauling haoma water along the road and-flash!-he runs into the flaming form of the Archangel Vohu Mano, messenger of Ahura Mazda, and the beginning of Zoroastrianism. Saul of Tarsus walking along the road to Damascus and-flash!- he hears the voice of the Lord and becomes a Christian. Plus God knows how many lesser figures in the 2,000 years since then, Christian Rosenkreuz and his "God-illuminated" brotherhood of Rosicrucians, Emanuel Swedenborg whose mind suddenly "opened" in 1743, Meister Eckhart and his disciples Suso and Tauler, and in the twentieth-century Sadhu Sundar Singh -with-flash!- a vision at the age of 16 and many times thereafter; "...often when I come out of ecstasy I think the whole world must be blind not to see what I see, everything is so near and clear... there is no language which will express the things which I see and hear in the spiritual world..." Sounds like an acid head, of course. What they all saw in... a flash was the solution to the basic predicament of being human, the personal I, Me, trapped, mortal and helpless, in a vast impersonal It, the world around me. Suddenly! -All-in-one!- flowing together, I into It, and It into Me, and in that flow I perceive a power, so near and so clear, that the whole world is blind to. All the modern religions, and the occult mysteries, for that matter, talk about an Other World - whether Brahma's or the flying saucers' - that the rational work-a-day world is blind to. The-so-called!friends-rational world. If only they, Mom&Dad&Buddy&Sis, dear-but-square ones, could but know the kairos, the supreme moment... The historic visions have been explained in many ways, as the result of epilepsy, self-hypnosis, changes in metabolism due to fasting or actual intervention by gods-or drugs: Zoroastrianism began in a grand bath of haoma water, which was the same as the Hindu soma, and was unquestionably a drug. The experience!"

- pages 127-128 of The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe

Your Mother and My Mother

Fear is the cheapest room in the house.

I would like to see you living

In better conditions.

For your mother and my mother

Were friends.

I know the Innkeeper

In this part of the universe.

Get some rest tonight,

Come to my verse again tomorrow.

We’ll go speak to the Friend together.

I should not make any promises right now,

But I know if you

Pray

Somewhere in this world–

Something good will happen.

God wants to see

More love and playfulness in your eyes

For that is your greatest witness to Him.

Your soul and my soul

Once sat together in the Beloved’s womb

Playing footsie.

Your heart and my heart

Are very, very old

Friends.

I Have Learned So Much

I

Have

Leanred

So much from God

That I can no longer

Call

Myself

A Christian, a Hindu, a Muslim,

A Buddhist, a Jew.

The Truth has shared so much of Itself

With me

That I can no longer call myself

A man, a woman, an angel,

Or even pure

Soul.

Love has

Befriended Hafiz so completely

It has turned to ash

And freed

Me

Of Every concept and image

My mind has ever known.

And by Meister Eckhart, a Catholic mystic who lived from 1260-1328

It Is A Lie

It is a lie–any talk of God

that does not

comfort

you.

______________________________________________

Reading Hafiz has been like reading the Bible, before I realized the Bible wasn’t filled with as much Truth as I had once thought, hoped, and believed.

__________________________________________

I’m home alone tonight.  Jeff’s at work.  I called my mom.  The doctor said her liver is gone.  You know, up a creek without a paddle.  That’s saying a lot–I once had a prof who had liver cancer.  They cut 3/4 of it out and it grew back.  I guess hers won’t grow back. 
Many, many things are perfectly regenerative and forgiving.  It takes a lot for no second chances.

I wish I …

nevermind

          " God is neither this nor that."

`

Most scholars place William Law in the long tradition of English mysticism, having even been called “the chief of the English mystics.”¹⁰ This is an interesting title when we realize that Law had little or no knowledge of this tradition. It is believed that exposure to mystic heroes such as Julian of Norwich or Richard Rolle would have greatly helped Law achieve a more balanced form of mysticism.¹¹ The earliest mystical sources found in Law’s writing come from Macarius Aegyptius and Pseudo-Dionisius.¹² As his mystical exploration progressed, Law became increasingly interested in a group of German mystical thinkers, men such as John Tauler, Meister Eckhart, and Henry Suso.¹³ It is from this same school of mystical thought that we find Jakob Böhme, who is unquestionably Law’s primary source of inspiration.

Böhme (also known as Jacob Behmen) was born just over a century before Law and is regarded as one of Germany’s greatest mystical thinkers. It is difficult to understand Law’s mysticism without first understanding Böhme, since he is unquestionably Law’s most influential source. This, however, proves to be a difficult task, since Böhme has been said to write “passages which were marked less by inspiration than by insanity.”¹⁴ Equally, it has been noted that Law may have attributed more inspiration to Böhme than his writing actually reflects.¹⁵ A brief look at the foundational doctrine of human depravity highlights the difficulty of understanding the complex relationship that exists between Böhme and Law.

The challenge when reading Böhme is to discern when apparently orthodox statements may in fact have underlying heterodox themes. Take, for example, a quotation from Böhme’s devotional classic, The Way to Christ. “Before there can be prayer, there must be an honest acknowledgement of the bad state into which the soul has fallen.”¹⁶ Taken at face value, such a statement can be claimed as consistent with Christian teaching, but in reality Böhme is directly opposed to many orthodox Christians, especially the 16th century reformers. Reformers such as Calvin claimed that it is impossible for man to save himself and that no trace of saving grace is to be found. Böhme contrasts this view with the belief that there is a “spark” which still remains in the soul, a bit of goodness still enabling a response to God.¹⁷ Böhme defends his position based on Genesis 1:26, believing that man was made in the image of God, and this image was damaged in the fall, but not completely destroyed. It was then fully restored in Christ (John 1:9). Thus a difference of opinion exists when trying to determine just how far the soul has fallen.

This doctrine of depravity is found throughout Law’s writing, but it is difficult to determine to what extent his thinking parallels that of Böhme. Although Law often uses similar terminology as Böhme, he can also be found to be more orthodox in his thinking. When addressing the topic in Christian Regeneration, Law states that “the whole nature of the Christian religion stands upon these two great pillars, namely, the greatness of our fall and the greatness of our redemption.”¹⁸ He takes this thought further by explaining that “nothing can truly awaken a sinner but a true sense of the deep inward possession and power that sin has in him.”¹⁹ This is one of the two main themes in The Spirit of Prayer, the other being union with Christ, and I will expand on it below. Hopefully this example highlights the difficulty in isolating Law’s unique mystical inspiration from Böhme’s influence.

⁷Macquarrie, Two Worlds, 3-4.
⁸Ibid.
⁹Rudolph, William Law, 83.
¹⁰Alexander Whyte, comp, Characters and Characteristics of William Law: Nonjuror and Mystic (London: Hodder and Stoughton, 1893), 37.
¹¹Arthur W. Hopkinson, About William Law (London: SPCK, 1948), 76.
¹²J.H. Overton, William Law, Nonjuror and Mystic: Author of ‘A Serious Call to A Devout and Holy Life’, c., Formerly Fellow of Emmanuel College, Cambridge: A Sketch of His Life, Character, and Opinions (London, Longmans, Green, and Co.), 148.
¹³Ibid.
¹⁴Ibid., 72.
¹⁵Ibid.
¹⁶Macquarrie, Two Worlds, 181.
¹⁷Ibid.
¹⁸Whyte, Characters and Characteristics, 28.
¹⁹Ibid.

• 1. „Im Falle einer religiösen Lebenskrise gehen wir ausgiebig, regelmässig und genussreich schlafen.“
• 2. „Im Falle einer religiösen Lebenskrise gehen wir recht häufig ins Schwimmbad oder in die Sauna.“
• 3. Ausgezeichnet essen und ausgesuchte Weine trinken.
• 4. „Im Falle einer religiösen Krise überlassen wir uns, falls wir katholisch sind, dem lösenden Fluss der Tränen. Falls wir evangelisch erzogen sind, versuchen wir wenigstens, ein bisschen zu seufzen.“
• 5. Unsere Freunde besuchen, ihnen unsere Sorgen klagen und ihr Mitleid ungeniert geniessen.
• 6. Sich vor sexuellen Nöten und Strapazen hüten.
• 7. „Wenn wir unsere religiöse Überzeugung verloren haben, dann hüten wir uns davor, sie gleich durch eine andere Überzeugung zu ersetzen. Wir versuchen, wenigstens eine Weile ohne sie auszukommen.“

Der Tenor ist hier also "Wenn - dann richtig!". Allerdings gibt es eine damit konkurrierenden Ratschlag von Meister Eckhart im 11. Kapitel seiner "Reden der Unterweisung". Wenn man meint, Gott sei fortgegangen, so solle man sich ganz so verhalten wie sonst auch. Denn Gott könne man gar nicht verlieren. Es sei nur unsere Gefühlslage, die uns meinen lässt, wir würden Gott entbehren. Bei Eckhart gilt also: "Weiter im Text!"

Ich denke auch: Wir werden Gott noch oft verlieren müssen und unser Vokabular für unser Zu Ihm und Von Ihm Reden immer wieder zerstören müssen, damit er uns so erscheinen kann, wie wir es nicht meistern können. Immer muss er eine Überforderung bleiben müssen. Und ihn zu verlieren - davor soll man keine Angst haben. Ich denke da irgendwie auch: Es gibt hier dann für mich im Moment nichts mehr zu tun. Ist doch auch okay.

"Es gibt keinen gleich guten Rat, Gott zu finden, als ihn dort zu finden, wo man ihn abblitzen lässt fahrenlässt. Und wie dir war, als du ihn zuletzt hattest, so tu auch nun, da du ihn vermissest, so findest du ihn." (Meister Eckehart, Reden der Unterweisung, aus Kapitel 11 [Was der Mensch tun soll, wenn er Gott vermisst und Gott sich verborgen hat])

Nebenbei: Erinnert sich jemand an den Song "Hat jemand meinen Hund gesehn?" aus der Sesamstrasse? War das mit Ernie oder hat das eine andere Figur gesungen? Ich bin im Netz bis jetzt noch nicht fündig geworden.

Das finde ich sensationell. Denn wenn Sie sich einmal selbst überprüfen, werden Sie feststellen, dass diese Forderung einen Verfahrensmodus beschreibt, der der Funktionsweise des Alltagsverstandes genau entgegen gesetzt ist. Unser Gehirn produziert ja nämlich permanent, geradezu in einer Endlosschleife, die Illusion: „Ah, klar, kenne ich, logisch, so ist das. Ja, das ist genau so, wie es ist.“ Wir gehen auf einen Schreibtisch zu, dessen Proportionen, objektiv betrachtet, ein einziges Gewackel und Schlingern sind, aber anstatt seekrank zu werden, freuen wir uns auf den Augenblick, da wir auf dem Stuhl hinter dem Tisch Platz nehmen können. Ein Tisch ist für uns einfach ein Tisch, egal, wie bizarr oder edel-elegant das Ding gezimmert ist.

Wir sind Monster der Tautologie. Anders formuliert: Wir sind einfach auf Zweifel von der Natur her nicht eingestellt, das ist ein Trick der Natur, die uns dauernd in die Pfanne haut; darum verehren wir auch methodische Zweifelsüchtige wie Descartes, wie Meister Eckhart, wie George Tabori. Wir ahnen dunkel, dass diese im Recht sind. Wirklich geheuer ist uns das alles, was so geschieht mit uns und um uns, ja auch nicht. Nur suggeriert uns das Gehirn, eine Allzweckwaffe der Evolution, das Propaganda-Ministerium der egoistischen Gene, eben monoton: „Wieso, was ist los? Warum die Aufregung? Ist doch alles okay, alles vertraut, alles im Grünen Bereich, mein Junge.“

Aber lesen Sie mal „Sin City“ z. B., da ist nichts mehr mit Lot. Da ist die Stadt wieder zum Dschungel geworden, wie New York, wie Chicago, wie Washington. Marv, der hässliche Held von einem Schurken, muss sich langsam und systematisch und unter beträchtlichen gesundheitlichen Opfern durch die ganze Stadt morden, um am Ende den heimlichen Herrscher von „Sin City“ zu massakrieren, langsam und genüsslich, einen gefallenen Priester, einen Psychopathen, der sich vom Fleisch junger Frauen ernährt ... okay, das klingt alles ziemlich trashig. Aber geben Sie doch auch mal einer post-hegelianischen Ästhetik eine Chance.

Ab heute will ich alle spirituellen Stilfragen lassen und auf ganz einfache Weise auf die unmittelbare Erfahrung zu schauen suchen.

Übrigens: Heute ist für die benediktinische Familie das Hochfest des heiligen Mönchsvaters Benedikt. - Ist das irgendwie von Bedeutung? - Nein.

Cititi AICI detalii despre acest premiu prestigios primit de colegul nostru de blog.

Felicitari si la mai multe carti de valoare.

Editura Polirom din Iasi a anuntat astazi ca prietenul nostru Daniel Farcas a cistigat editia 2007 a Concursului de debut I. P.  Culianu.

Sincere felicitari!

Iata mai jos comunicatul editurii:

Concursul de debut „I.P. Culianu", ediţia a III-a,

organizat de Editura Polirom, şi-a desemnat cîştigătorul

Cîştigătorul ediţiei 2007 a Concursului „I.P. Culianu" este Daniel Fărcaş, doctor în Filosofie medievală al Universităţilor Paris IV-Sorbonne şi „Babeş-Bolyai", Cluj-Napoca, cu lucrarea Meister Eckhart. Misticul din căuşul ochiului. Premiul este în valoare de 1.000 euro, manuscrisul urmînd să fie publicat la Polirom.

Concursul de debut „I.P. Culianu" se organizează anual, premiul fiind acordat celei mai interesante lucrări din domeniile: istoria religiilor, studii culturale, mentalităţi, antropologie, ştiinţe socio-umane (psihologie, sociologie, istorie, ştiinţe politice, studii de gen, asistenţă socială), comunicare, relaţii publice, studii media.

Cîştigătorii ediţiilor anterioare au fost: Adela Toplean, Liviu Bordaş, Gabriel Troc, Catrinel Popa şi Lucia Simona Dinescu. Juriul concursului este alcătuit din Tereza Culianu-Petrescu, Dan Petrescu, Liviu Antonesei şi Silviu Lupescu.

Manuscrisele pentru ediţia a patra pot fi trimise pe adresa editurii pînă la data de 31 octombrie 2008 (data poştei). Plicul, pe care nu va fi menţionat numele expeditorului, trebuie să conţină un exemplar al manuscrisului însoţit de un motto, cd-ul cu textul manuscrisului în Word şi, într-un plic sigilat inclus, motto-ul ales şi CV-ul autorului.

Daniel Fărcaş (n. 1975, Oradea) a absolvit Facultatea de Filosofie a Universităţii „Babeş-Bolyai" şi, ulterior, Facultatea de Litere, specializarea Filologie modernă şi clasică (franceză-greacă veche), a aceleiaşi universităţi. A făcut studii postuniversitare la Universitatea Paris I, specializarea Istoria filosofiei, şi a beneficiat de burse şi stagii de pregătire academică şi de documentare în Franţa. În ianuarie 2008 a obţinut titlul de doctor al Universităţii Paris IV-Sorbonne cu teza „Transcendentalul şi discursul teologic. Metafizică şi analogie la Albert cel Mare şi Meister Eckhart" (coordonatori Jean-François Courtine şi Andrei Marga). A publicat numeroase studii şi articole în Studia Universitatis „Babeş-Bolyai", Caietele Echinox, Familia, Orma, Vatra, Verso ş.a. şi a colaborat în calitate de cercetător la elaborarea unor studii de specialitate. În prezent, este director executiv al Editurii Hypogrammos din Oradea.

Unique what a beautiful word - like the markings on the butterfly standing out apart from the wings that give it flight - we cry to the heavens to reveal to our soul a place, a purpose in this microcosm of life that we can call ours.

-   Lord, who am I, where are you in my time of need, do you hear me, can I find you in this book, this internet site, this new latest and greatest technology?   Are you in there Lord?  If I ask will I receive.?  Will I know you any better tomorrow than I do today?  Please call or send me an email, I will check first thing in the morning for your reply to see if you heard my prayer. 

In our search for uniqueness and distinction we break apart, away from oneness.  The Oneness that is God, which the Dominican Monk Meister Eckhart wrote about prolifically in the late 13th century - while living in the shadow of the Inquistion and heresy, "Truly, if you were really one, you would remain one in distinctions..."  The ability to remain one with God and distinct in character can only be done by being and knowing truly who and what we are within the scope of God's Oneness. 

In distinction you cannot find unity, nor being, nor God, nor rest, nor blessedness, nor enjoyment.  Be one, so that you can find God.  Truly, if you were really one, you would remain one even in distinctions and distinction would be one for you, and nothing at all would be in your way. 

 Meister Eckhart "The Nobleman"

The distinct spots on the butterfly will never reach their highest potential without the total oneness of the creature, its wings, its body and its soul.  Like the markings on the wing of the butterfly, we too can only find Distinction in the Oneness of all.

I have two ways of loving You:
A selfish one
And another way that is worthy of You.
In my selfish love, I remember You and You alone.
In that other love, You lift the veil
And let me feast my eyes on Your Living Face.
Rabi'á al-Basra

Everyone has experienced synchronicity. You learn a new word and suddenly you hear it everywhere? You start thinking about a concept and people around you start bringing it up? Wikipedia defines synchronicity in a very succinct manner:

Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events which occur in a meaningful manner, but which are causally un-related. In order to be 'synchronistic', the events must be related to one another temporally, and the chance that they would occur together by random chance must be very small.

I have come to believe, simply from my experience, that synchronicity is very often a divine message. A way of God and the Universe nudging you in the right direction. Although it may be perfectly explainable logically, it is anomalous in our perception. At the very least it cannot be ignored. In my life I have one great experience of synchronicity. Throughout the months before I discovered the Baha'i Faith, while still in a limbo of developing panentheism from my atheism, I kept thinking that a religion ought to be founded that united the Abrahamic Faiths and took the attitude of Islam to other religions (Every people being sent a Prophet). During this time, the Baha'i Faith popped up quite a few times in my life. So, from my experience in life and the experiences of others relayed to me, I strongly believe that synchronicity at least demands our respect and attention.

So, as a result of synchronicity you get another post on vulnerability. I have been thinking about vulnerability as a virtue and a necessary aspect of salvation/theosis lately (I think that Alison Marshall somehow put this idea in my head; I don't remember quite how though). Today, listening to a podcast from Krista Tippet's radio program Speaking of Faith (Which I recommend to anyone of any religious or non-religious background), I heard an interview with author and philosopher John O'Donohue. John said something that caused an instant connection in my mind and a personal revelation on how vulnerability functions in the human relationships with God and man. I will share two pieces of the program here, one from John himself, and a quote from his book, Anam Kara:

Mr. O'Donohue: You imagine the surface of the ocean is all restless and then you slip down deep below the surface where it's still and where things move slower. And what I love in this regard is my old friend Meister Eckhart, 14th-century mystic.

Ms. Tippett: Right. German mystic.

Mr. O'Donohue: German mystic. And one day I read in him and he said, "There is a place in the soul — there is a place in the soul that neither time, nor space, nor no created thing can touch." And I really thought that was amazing, and if you cash it out what it means is, that in — that your identity is not equivalent to your biography. And that there is a place in you where you have never been wounded, where there's still a sureness in you, where there's a seamlessness in you, and where there is a confidence and tranquility in you. And I think the intention of prayer and spirituality and love is now and again to visit that inner kind of sanctuary.

---

In the Celtic tradition, there is a beautiful understanding of love and friendship. One of the fascinating ideas here is the idea of soul-love; the old Gaelic term for this is anam kara. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul and kara is the word for friend. In the early Celtic church, a person who acted as a teacher, companion, or spiritual guide was called an anam kara. It originally referred to someone to whom you confessed revealing the hidden intimacies of your life. With the anam kara you could share your innermost self, your mind, and your heart. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging. … In everyone's life there is great need for an anam lara, a soul friend, in this love you are understood as you are without mask or pretension. Where you are understood, you are at home.

At that instant, two quotations I have been thinking of a lot lately, from the Baha'i writings and traditions of the Holy Imam `Alí

O SON OF BEING!
Thy heart is My home; sanctify it for My descent. Thy spirit is My place of revelation; cleanse it for My manifestation.

(Bahá'u'lláh, 59th Arabic Hidden Word)

---

He who has known himself has known his Lord.

Now, the first quotation I actually have not been thinking of. I have been thinking of something that a Baha'i teacher once told me. He said "God gave us this entire planet and everything in it. The only thing He asks for Himself is our hearts. God wants to dwell in our hearts." I don't know exactly where this teacher picked that bit of wisdom up, but I see ample evidence for it in the Baha'i writings, and the 59th Arabic Hidden Word is just one of the many places where Bahá'u'lláh intones this incredible call to vulnerability and inner purity.

As I lay in my bed with my dog's chew-toys in my ears (Which humans know as very expensive headphones :p) all these quotations came together as the answer to the question of vulnerability that I have been exploring as an aspect of Baha'i theosis, especially as revealed in the Hidden Words of Bahá'u'lláh (Which, according to Shia tradition were first revealed to the wife of the Imam `Alí, Lady Fatimah)

John O'Donohue talks about that place in our soul that has never been hurt, remains pure an unaffected by the world. He explains that that place is an identity free of any worldly attachments. Bahá'u'lláh talks about the heart and the spirit, and I believe He is speaking of the same concept, the Gaelic anam. Bahá'u'lláh also tells us that God's home is that place, anam, and He is manifest within that inmost spirit. This then is what Imam `Alí meant I think, when He said "He who has known himself has known his Lord". Since God is manifest in the inmost spirit of man, we can only access the very elevated and distant God by knowing Him through Our internal divinity (Our meaning shared between man and God). This also makes the dichotomy of a search for God within versus a search for God without immaterial.

`Abdu'l-Bahá explains that one of the four kinds of Love is love of man for man. But this love is only obtained by two people loving each other for the reflection of God within the other. This is, the Master tells us, the kind of love we should have for everyone, it has nothing to do with their human imperfections, but only with the reflection of God's perfection within them. Thus, as two people grow closer to each other, they grow closer to God, and vice versa. This is the Gaelic concept of anam kara and it calls for vulnerability.

In life, we do our best to hide our inmost self, we create veils and masks and shields. If someone can see our inmost self, we lose control over the relationship, and open ourselves up to intense hurt. However, if that inmost self is a home for God, and true love only happens when people grow closer to each other and God simultaneously, we are then called to open ourselves up in all our relationships and try to see into the inmost self of others. When we want power in relationships we make ourselves more distant from others and from God. Thus, vulnerability is essential to love of all kinds and to salvation. We must open ourselves to harm and have faith that only good will enter. When we do this, we are following the directions of Bahá'u'lláh and allowing our hearts to become homes for God. Dieing to the world that He many live eternally in us.

O SON OF MAN!
If thou lovest Me, turn away from thyself; and if thou seekest My pleasure, regard not thine own; that thou mayest die in Me and I may eternally live in thee.

(Bahá'u'lláh, Seventh Arabic Hidden Word)

Thanks to Alison, who often helps me clue into important theological lessons lately, I started to ponder vulnerability. I knew it was important, but it is an abstruse idea. This morning, thanks to that divine synchronicity that helps restore my wonder in the natural world, I think I have started to realize some of it and the Hidden Words have become slightly less hidden to me. I apologize if this post was rather wacky, but I worked through my thoughts by writing them to some extent (Which I have heard is a feminine way of thinking; one that I am very dependent on despite the gender gap).

PS: In case there is a synchronitic message here, I will tell you all that I keep writing Imam `Alá instead of Imam `Alí. `Alá is the name of a Baha'i month, and Arabic for loftiness. If anyone thinks that means anything . . . :P Also, if you want to search for the book Anam Kara, or the topic in general, spell it anam cara.

An incredible book that brought to life for myself the mystical insight this late 12th to early 13th century Dominican priest named Meister Eckhart.   The Mystical Thought of Meister Eckhart was the first book I had read on Eckhart, though I had heard of him I feared I would not be able to absorb his message.  Since reading it I have come to cherish it as one of my favorites on Christian mystism and refer back to it whenever I need to reference soul, my soul that is, to find that grounding the he speaks to over and over again throughout his sermons.   It has lead me to seek out further publications of his sermons and writings.   

For those who love to talk Soul ---- I would recommend highly.    

Soul Intention  

In chapter 19 of 1 Kings, Elijah, before his God, pleads for mercy upon his life by those who desire to kill him and God's prophets. The LORD tells Elijah to stand on the mount and to wait. However, the LORD evades Elijah's expectations of visitation several times before finally the LORD meets Elijah in silence, in a whisper. Throughout the passage, the phrase 'The LORD was not..." is repeated as if to imply that we cannot expect God to be where we we think God should be.

I'm an idealist. I dream about living in fantastical worlds imagined by Salvador Dali and Gogo Dodo from Tiny Toon Adventures. Experimental music and art films capture my attention because of all the loose ends and endless interpretations that can be derived from it. I revel in artistic uncertainty. But all this adventure crumbled in the face of my theological exploration. I found that I had drawn thick black lines of theological certainty around biblical concepts. Not only had I settled for static notions of God, but I actually reveled in its supposed steadfastness. In this epistemological world, permeability was heresy.

In the story of God, however, there's always redemption. As it turns out, I was redeemed of my stasis. Dramatic.

And these thoughts form... (I shall endeavor to remain fluid in my grasp, or un-grasp, of God)

Maybe God would rather me have fight to believe rather than accepting the horrible "God said it. I believe it. That settles it" paradigm. We see uncertainty played out through the scriptures. We experience betrayal and rejection. We see atrocity committed by the very people we believe should be examples of faith. Abraham questions God. Jacob wrestles with God. God permits thousands of deaths. Jonah runs from God. Jesus meets the people, only to run away later. He heals them, then instructs them not to tell of his miracles. He is God, yet He dies on a lowly cross. He resurrects, only to disappear later. Kill me now. Here we see God challenging our very notions of how God is supposed to be. Indeed, God challenges our very notion of why we believe in God at all.

Scripture does not establish certainty, but rather, faith in tension. God doesn't give logical reasons for why we must have unwavering faith in him. He gives us stories of how we fail to understand and will always fail to understand; nevertheless he tells us to maintain hope. Might we, then, have to reject our concepts of God and truly let our words be few? Maybe, as Kierkegaard said, we have to let our actions speak rather than engage in rationalistic discourse. Maybe we have to reject our notions of church to believe in church again. Maybe we have to drive nails through Jesus again so that we see him resurrected in our lives in a new way.

What, then, does this look like in faith lived out? What implications does Meister Eckhart's prayer of "God, rid me of God" have in our everyday lives? Or in our faith communities? What do we do when we recognize that our theology, our idolatry of static ideas, all crumble in the face of our finitude? Truly, in our finitude, everything becomes mere interpretation. This, however is not cause for panic. Truth does not fall in the face of our interpretation. Truth, as Paul Ricoeur says, is that which unifies us in the midst of our fragmented interpretations.

And thus, God still remains God.