Menya zavut Mariya but today you can call me Masha - this time I’m romancing Russia, just a tad. As always, what I wear depends a lot on my mood and for me... fall is the season of nostalgia. I’ve pulled some fur out of my inventory (don’t worry, no animals were injured - it’s all faux), along with some vintage items and paired those up with sheer, slinky fabrics. Most of all I wanted to capture a mood rather than something solely aesthetically appealing, keeping it classic and showing you some goodies... 

The Moscow skin from MMS is without a doubt my new favourite, although I do love the other "City" faces I couldn’t decide on which one I liked best, nor which one felt the most “me”. Poutier lips, a rounder nose, longer and bigger eyelids plus natural-looking brows all together just nailed it for me. To me Moscow also has a bit more depth than the other faces while offering make-ups I’m more likely to wear on casual occasions. 

I have a particularly soft spot for pieces that look as if they’d have a “history”, or story to tell, which is why I’ve accessorized a bit as if I’ve raided my pixel grandmother’s attic. Even in a place like SL where things hold no real vintage value I find it hard to resist an old Louis Vuitton trunk (as seen on Monta’s fabulous blog for men, do not miss that) or jewelry that looks as if it were purchased a few generations back. Classics are classics for a reason, and that doesn’t just apply to Dostoevsky and Tolstoy. :P 

PRODUCT DETAILS:

Skin: "MoscowPale-makeup5b", by MMS
Eyes: "Sparkle Eyes" in Gunmetal, by Soda
Lashes: "BlackDarling", by Redgrave
Hair: MMShair-VILLA - Natural Blond, by MMS

Look I:

Top: "Roche Silk Charmeuse Top" in Nude, by Shai
Skirt: "Nell sculpted skirt" in gray, by LeeZu Baxter Designs
Stockings: from the set in Look II
Gloves: "Bark Half Gloves", by Royal Blue 
Shoes: "Marie" in Chocolate Caramel, by Tesla

Hat: "Fluffy hat" in Brown, by AOHARU
Stole: "Faux Fur Fox Stole", by Chapeau Tres Mignon
Necklace: "antique rose necklace01", by Gisele
Ring: "Anna Ring" in Antique Gold/Amber, by Miriel
Bag: "Dentelle (epaule)", by Manna

Look II:

Hair: "MMShair-VENERA" in Natural Blond, by MMS

Underwear set: "Augustine" in Blush, by LoveLace
Shoes: "Wood Strapped Heels" in Soft Pink, by Paper Couture
Necklace: "pearl3 rose necklace", by Gisele

Suitcase: "travellers suitcase w/ sit pose", by Noelle Eilde (store temp. closed?)
Trunk: "LOUIS VUITTON trunk2", by Antique Artistry
Mato: "Mother Mato", by nyamo Korobase

Poses: Standing poses from AnnaH, "Model Behaviour" set. Sitting pose from Body Language.

<3 M

Every year at Thanksgiving they sell tasty fresh-baked pies to support the organization. Each pie sold provides three meals for a MANNA client.

If you're in the Philadelphia metro area and would like to buy a Thanksgiving pie to support the incredible work that this organization does, just let me know. And if you're outside the area, but would still like to contribute, you can do that too!

www.forgenerations.net

OUTLINE-

I.  THE TESTIMONY OF ABRAHAM AND THE PATRIARCHS (vv. 1-8).

II.  THE TESTIMONY OF THE PATRIARCH'S ENVY, JOSEPH, AND EGYPT (vv. 9-16).

III.  THE TESTIMONY OF MOSES, THE RED SEA, AND THE WILDERNESS (vv. 17-36).

IV.  THE TESTIMONY OF ISRAEL'S REJECTION, REBELLION, AND CAPTIVITIES (vv. 37-50)

V.  THE TESTIMONY OF ISRAEL'S REJECTION OF JESUS AND THE HOLY SPIRIT (vv. 51-54).

VI.  THE TESTIMONY OF STEPHEN A PERSECUTED, MARTYRED SOUL FOR JESUS CHRIST (vv. 55-60).

Stephen, a spirit filled deacon, a servant of the early church, and serving tables; had stood up and preached the message of Jesus Christ, and was being called a "blasphemer".  In Acts 6:8-15 we see the beginning of chapter seven and Stephen's sermon of the testimony of Scripture and the history of the Jewish people.

The charge of "blasphemy" is a serious charge, especially in Israel, during these early days.  In some countries it is still a serious charge and often paid with the death of the accused or guilty.  Blasphemy is the calling someone God who would be human, or using the name of God to proclaim a message that was not of God.  In Stephen's case all he had apparently done was quote the words Moses had written concerning the Prophet who was coming, and proclaimed Jesus as the Prophet, and preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ.

When the true gospel of Jesus is preached it reveals Him in His true character, ie., God-man.  How could a man stop storms, walk on water, raise the dead?  No mere man would willingly go to a cross of death in the place of a sinful world; Jesus did.  No mere man has ever been raised to life in His own power; Jesus has.  To these Jewish leaders Stephen was a blasphemer, because He had proclaimed Jesus as deity - the God-man.  Thus, they sought to put Stephen on trial.

In verse eleven of chapter six we find them bringing in false witnesses against him.  Sound familiar?

 THE TESTIMONY OF ABRAHAM AND THE PATRIARCHS (vv. 1-8).  Stephen, filled with the Spirit of God confronts them with their own Scriptures and history. 

The history of Abraham is one of the nation of Israel.  Without Abraham there would be no Israel.  Abraham is the man whom God chose to use to birth the nation.  He was a man of faith, and his faith grew.

Called out of Ur of the Chaldeans he left the life he knew to go to a land he had never seen, and did not go where he was going.  All he knew was that he had met God, and God told him to "Get", and he got going.

Stephen is not answering to the charge of blasphemy; he just gets into the Scriptures proclaiming to them, what they probably do not want to hear.  He gives it to them anyway.  Some preacher I once heard made this statement after telling about being caught in a mob, "When you have an angry crowd, and they are trying to do you bad; then preach", at least something along that line.  I would not say that is what Stephen is doing, but even if he is, it does not negate the message.

The land was promised to Abraham and he never so much as received one acre of it.  Yet, he still believed, trusted the Lord and is an example of great faith to all followers of Jesus Christ today.

Isaac was/is the promised son of Abraham's faith.  Isaac also received the promise of the land, and of being a great nation; as did his son Jacob as well.

The message of Abraham is faith.  The history of Abraham is faith.  He left all to go where he knew not where.  He faced famine in that land almost immediately upon arriving, yet even though he left the land, he returned and is called the "friend of God".  The ultimate test of his faith was when God called on him to offer his son Isaac as a sacrifice, and in that he was faithful. 

THE TESTIMONY OF THE PATRIARCH'S ENVY, JOSEPH, AND EGYPT (vv. 9-16).  When we find that Abraham was counted righteous by God, according to Scripture, we also find that God gave Abraham a bit of prophetic knowledge.  In Genesis 15 we read,

"And he said unto Abram, Know of a surety that thy seed shall be a stranger in a land that is not theirs, and shall serve them; and they shall afflict them four hundred years; And also that nation, whom they shall serve, will I judge: and afterward shall they come out with great substance."  Genesis 15:13-14 (KJV)

In verse 6 of Genesis fifteen we find these words,

"And he [Abraham] believed in the LORD; and he counted it to him for righteousness." 

He was not counted or reckoned "righteous" because of his good works, or for anything he had done, but because God had spoke and he acted on it believing God.

Joseph, the son of Jacob, the first born son of Rachel; Jacob's beloved wife; was a dreamer of dreams.  These dreams were not brought on by eating too much pizza, or from some dose of crazy weed, but they were from God.  As a dreamer of God dreams he also had an understanding of dreams.  Because of some of his dreams the other brothers got jealous of him.  According to his dreams the brothers and the whole family would one day bow at his feet.

Joseph may not have realized the significance of his dreams.  The significance was that what he was dreaming was going to be the fulfillment of God's promise/prophecy to Abraham in bringing a nation out of Egypt.  The significance was that God was working through the evil conduct of his brothers.  You may flinch at that thought, but God is sovereign over all things, and so don't think for a minute that evil thwarts the will of God; in fact He uses it to accomplish His purposes and will.  That in no way means He approves it, causes it, or empowers it; it only means that man has a freewill, and God uses man's freewill to accomplish His own.

The Psalmist wrote of Joseph:

"He sent a man before them, even Joseph, who was sold for a servant: Whose feet they hurt with fetters: he was laid in iron: Until the time that his word came: the word of the LORD tried him." Psalm 105:17-19 (KJV)

Verse 19 in particular is the one we need to see.  "Until the time that his word came the word of the LORD tried him."  From the time Joseph was sold by his brothers into slavery, into Egypt, to Potiphar, then to prison, then freed; there was probably a total of about twenty years.  Do you think Joseph had ever dreamed that he would go through all these trials?  I really doubt it.  Joseph, however, remained ever faithful.  There appears to be no doubts, no complaints, no anger toward God, no heart of vengeance against his brothers (though some may want to disagree with that when he comes face to face with his brothers).  All the time Joseph was waiting for the word of the LORD to come to pass.  Oh, how the Christian today needs that type of faith; that "waiting faith"; that faith that waits on God, and His time and place.

THE TESTIMONY OF MOSES, THE RED SEA, AND THE WILDERNESS (vv. 17-36).  The time between the last verse of Genesis and the birth of Moses, recorded in Exodus 2 is near to 400 years; nearing the promise and prophecy of God to Abraham in Genesis 15. 

The descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob have grown to quite a large number in those 400 years.  They have become so numerous that the Pharoah who rules at the time of Moses's birth is a tyrant toward Israel, has no memory of Joseph, and doesn't care for the people at all; but fears their numbers.  This tyrant Pharoah orders the death of all baby boys born to the Hebrews.  The mother and father of Moses hid him for a period of three months, and then finally put him in a "ark of bulrushes" placed it in the Nile River, along the shore, and floating down near the place where the princess of Egypt bathed; was found and adopted by her.  Only the sovereign LORD could work something like that out. 

The Hebrew people were enslaved, and treated like livestock or worse.  They were not allowed to worship God; and maybe only a few really knew about YHWH [YaHWeH].  We know that they did have homes to live in, though what condition we are not aware.

Moses was taken out of the water of the Nile and named Moses by the daughter of Pharoah.  "Drawn out" is the meaning of his name and it is a perfect fit for him.  We see him all his life being "drawn out".  He was "drawn out" of the water.  He was "drawn out" to his own people.  He was "drawn out" to the desert/wilderness.  He was "drawn out" to serve Jethro for forty years.

For forty years Moses was in Egypt learning the ways of Egypt.  For forty years he was in the desert with Jethro learning the ways of the desert/wilderness.  After delivering the children of Israel from Egypt he spent forty more years in the wilderness preparing  them for life in the Promised Land. 

We complain if we must wait a minute or two at a traffic light.  Lord help us.  How we need to learn to wait, and trust the LORD with His word, His church and His people.  Moses had to learn the lesson of waiting on God.  He supposed that when he killed the Egyptian that the people would know that he was God's deliverer, but it was not the time, and Moses had to leave Egypt to be prepared.

A THOUGHT:  Joseph, by God's providence, was in Egypt to prepare Egypt for the world famine, and to prepare Israel to become a nation.  Moses fled from Egypt to be prepared to return to Egypt, and deliver the people from the world.

In the wilderness the new nation saw the mighty hand of God the LORD.  When they did not see a way God made a way across the Red Sea.  The LORD delivered them from their enemies by causing the Sea to collapse in upon the soldiers of Egypt, killing them all.  The Almighty provided them water, meat to eat and He provided them with bread from heaven - "Manna" meaning "What is it?"

THE TESTIMONY OF ISRAEL'S REJECTION, REBELLION, AND CAPTIVITIES (vv. 37-50).  Moses testified of One who would come, a Prophet, the Prophet of prophets.  Stephen reminds his listeners, persecutors of the prophecy of Moses and his teachings.  Hear the words of the prophet Moses concerning the Prophet;

"The LORD thy God will raise up unto thee a Prophet from the midst of thee, of thy brethren, like unto me; unto him ye shall hearken..." Deuteronomy 18:15 (KJV).

While Moses was in the wilderness with the people we find them many times rejecting his leadership, such as while he went up on Mount Sinai receiving the Ten Commandments from the Lord.  They built a golden calf to worship in the place of God.  Our impatience is somewhat astonishing.  God says something and we do the opposite.

We Christians have been accused by some who refer to themselves as atheist or agnostic of being "makers of our own god", and they mean that of the world religions as well.  With the latter I would agree.  The God of Creation who created all that is is not a god of man's own making, however.  No man has ever imagined a god who is Almighty, All-Knowing, All-Present, All-Powerful, and Immutable.  No man has ever invented a god who condemns sin and wickedness, and provides a means of fellowship, relationship, justification, sanctification, and  being glorified together with him in an eternal home.  No man has ever created a god that would send his only son to die for the sins of the world.  The God of Christianity is the Creator of the universe, and all that is in it; and He loved us so much He did send His Son to die on a cross for our sins, was buried, and He rose again bodily from the grave and was witnessed by over 500 eyewitnesses.

All the gods of man's creation allow them to behave and act any way they choose.  The god's of men cause the immorality of all the world.  The god's of men's own making is what causes wars and strife.  Every individual without Jesus Christ is their own god; and will one day crumble, fall at the feet of Jesus, and be cast from His presence into eternal fire.

The "golden calf" for those people of Israel was a reminder of their lives back in Egypt.  They had been freed from its bondage, yet they still cling to it, even to the point of desiring to return and continue as slaves.  Even the gods people worship today, the images, are images which puts no guilt on them, or would make them question their actions.  The world hates any guilt, or shame.  That is one of the things, however, which is needed in the world; ie., guilt and shame.

When people turn to Wall Street, Dow, or other stocks and bonds, etc. for their security; then they have turned their back on God.  Christian we may be in a financial crisis in this nation [USA], however, there is a greater crisis that many do not even realize.  That crisis is a Spiritual crisis.  With greed ruling the day through the lies of satan; there is a genuine spiritual need for God.  Whether it is believed or not; there is only one way to God and heaven, and that is the way He has provided; and that way is by way of the cross of Jesus Christ, his burial and resurrection 

O, how we need to understand the fulness, power, vastness, and glory of our God.  The nation of Israel is still in rejection of their God, His Son and their future foretold by God.

THE TESTIMONY OF ISRAEL'S REJECTION OF JESUS AND THE HOLY SPIRIT (vv. 51-54).  These men to whom Stephen was speaking were just as the prophets which foretold the coming of the Prophet, the Messiah, their Deliverer.  "Stiffnecked and uncircumcised heart" shows a rebellious attitude and an unclean heart of these people.

All Stephen did was proclaim to them the truth of their own history, confront them with Jesus, their betrayal of him, and how they had "murdered him" (v. 52).

THE TESTIMONY OF STEPHEN A PERSECUTED, MARTYRED SOUL FOR JESUS CHRIST (vv. 55-60).  When the angry men heard the message delivered by faithful Stephen they proceeded to kill him. 

The Word of God works as a sword, a "twoedged sword".  In the book of Hebrews we read, "

"For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart." Hebrews 4:12 (KJV)

In other words; that means God will make things uncomfortable  for you until He gets you where He desires you to be; if you are His own.  When you are God's He will not allow you to remain in sinful behavior. 

These men hated Stephen and his words that he spoke, then, they proceeded to kill him.

The deacon never sought to strike back.  His last words before his dying breath was, "Lord, lay not this sin to their charge", and then he "fell asleep".  The stones which were hurled at Stephen, hitting his body, were stones of identity.  It is not without merit to mention that in the Revelation is mentioned a stone,

"He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it." Revelation 2:17

Stephen had his stones, and they were stones of blessing because as he was dying he looked into heaven and could see glory;

"Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God."

O, for the passion of our people like Stephen had.  For a fire to burn in our hearts for people who are bound in religion, but hate Jesus Christ, and refuse His death, burial and resurrection, by continually trying to earn their way to God's presence and favor.  Preaching to the religious may not get you any popular vote, but you will see God.

-Tim A. Blankenship

One of the most important and most discussed topics in all of life is VISION.  Without vision, we become like the blind.  Says so in Proverbs 29:18 (click following link).  http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2029:18;&version=65;;

King James Version says we "perish".  Many other versions use the phrase, "cast off restraint".  But The Message version says we "fall all over" ourselves.  Physical analogies are evident.

When it comes to phyical eyesight, it is our vision or eyesight that leads us where we are going.  Physically, we see, so we act.  This is NOT the case of the spiritually led individual.  We believe, we act in faith and THEN we see.  Hebrews 12:1 - "Faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen."  If we have to see before we act, this is NOT faith, and we are NOT truly being lead by the Spirit.

Because of impairment, some people must wear glasses to be able to see clearly.  I am thankful every day that the Lord has provided me with perfect physical vision (spiritual vision is ALWAYS a work in progress).  The older we get, the worse our eyesight will become.  It's natural.  This body we live in is temporary.  (Hallelujah!  I don't have to have this one forever! Now I don't have to have plastic surgery or botox!)  I'm just glad He fitted mine with good eyesight.

Some people who need glasses simply ignore it, avoiding the optometrist.  This puts unneccessary strain upon the eyes to focus.  Sometimes, our perscription eyewear is outdated and we need stronger, or possibly weaker, lenses.  Yet people struggle through until a "convenient" time comes along.  I simply haven't found an such "convenient" times in my life.

Many in the Church today stumble around with this same mindset for their spiritual lives.  They are constantly straining to see something that requires adjustment to their vision.  What they "think" they see is simply a blurry view of a more perfect picture.  Instead of making an appointment to see the Doctor and let Him fix it, they simply stumble around falling all over themselves as if they know the details of what they perceive with bad vision.  But WHAT A DIFFERENCE when He regains our vision!

When my vision gets blurry, I simply get down on my knees and ask God to correct my vision.  Sometimes, it's new glasses.  Other times it requires extensive surgery.  Or, it may be that I just need to wipe the junk out of my eyes and get my vision back on the right things.

I am extremely privileged to be invited to participate in an important roundtable "Think Tank" this week.  It is designed to focus on spiritual vision and planning for future.  This is what VISION is all about.  Without a vision; without a plan; without a goal to reach for; we will fall all over ourselves because we each have different opinions or ideas about where we are going and how to get there.

What areas do you think the Church needs to have a greater VISION for?  What about your life?  Come on, share your VISION with the rest of us!

I had never really considered the miracle of grain before, though I consume it frequently. A farmer prepares the ground and plants a tiny seed. What life-giving power, though, does the farmer posses? Without the Providence of God and His constant care for His creatures the planting of the seed would bring no increase. Spurgeon tells us, [a]s surely as the manna was prepared by God for the tribes (Ex. 16:15), so is grain made and sent by God for our daily use. What difference does it make whether we gather wheat or manna? What difference does it make if the first grows up and second falls down? God is as much present beneath as above. It is as great a wonder that food should rise out of the dust as that it should fall from the skies.

Prayer
Jehovah-Jireh (God, our Provider), Your good and perfect gifts sustain my body and my spirit. Grant that I might always look to You, and You alone, for the food that strengthens my body and the nourishment that establishes my spirit. Without Your Grace, both would perish. None of my efforts to provide sustenance for the body and enrichment for my spirit will succeed unless You provide the increase. I thank You that You have never failed to do so, and know that You have promised to provide all that I need for the future. All I have is of Grace. Grace. Grace! Through Christ, my Saviour. Amen.

Ramadhan tahun ini memang sangat jauh berbeda dengan yang aku alami tahun lalu. tahun ini, ramadhan aku jalani sendirian karena anak dan istriku tercinta sudah lebih dahulu pulang kampung sebelum ramadhan.

Singkat kata aku akan menjemput dua senyum yang sangat mengisi hari-hari ku selama ini.

untuk semua teman-teman aku kutipkan sebuah puisi cinta dari milistnya mario teguh SUper Club

Jika ia sebuah cinta.....
ia tidak mendengar...
namun senantiasa bergetar....

jika ia sebuah cinta.....
ia tidak buta..
namun senantiasa melihat dan merasa..

jika ia sebuah cinta.....
ia tidak menyiksa..
namun senantiasa menguji..

jika ia sebuah cinta.....
ia tidak memaksa..
namun senantiasa berusaha..

jika ia sebuah cinta.....
ia tidak cantik..
namun senantiasa menarik..

jika ia sebuah cinta.....
ia tidak datang dengan kata-kata..
namun senantiasa menghampiri dengan hati..

jika ia sebuah cinta.....
ia tidak terucap dengan kata..
namun senantiasa hadir dengan sinar mata..

jika ia sebuah cinta......
ia tidak hanya berjanji..
namun senantiasa mencoba memenangi..

jika ia sebuah cinta.....
ia mungkin tidak suci..
namun senantiasa tulus..

jika ia sebuah cinta.....
ia tidak hadir karena permintaan..
namun hadir karena ketentuan...

jika ia sebuah cinta.....
ia tidak hadir dengan kekayaan dan kebendaan...
namun hadir karena pengorbanan dan kesetiaan..

Mari kita tebarkan cinta selama Mudik tahun ini, cinta kepada orang tua, sanak saudara, pacar, teman dan semua orang disekitar kita.

Selamat Hari Raya Iedul Fitri 1429 H, Mohon Maaf lahir Batin

What time is it?

Romans 13:11-14 The Message  "But make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing! God is putting the finishing touches on the salvation work he began when we first believed. We can't afford to waste a minute, must not squander these precious daylight hours in frivolity and indulgence, in sleeping around and dissipation, in bickering and grabbing everything in sight. Get out of bed and get dressed! Don't loiter and linger, waiting until the very last minute. Dress yourselves in Christ, and be up and about!"

I need to awake from the sleep of gratifying my flesh, and put on my clothes (Christ), and start walking in the Spirit and in the fruit of the Spirit and in the gifts of the Spirit.

It's time to WAKE UP!

Well, I am not THE expert, but I know THE EXPERT!  He is the One who makes this all very clear to us in His Word.  But then, if you don't have these footholds of understanding, you may not see the vast importance of it all.

Ok, I'm getting to it....

Every believer, every child of God, every disciple of Christ MUST have a developed understanding of I AM and I AM NOT!

He is the I AM!  He IS EVERYTHING we need.  John 15:5-8

I AM NOT - I AM NOT God, BUT, I AM given the power and the authority by which He lived and ministered.  How?  His Word says it is His Spirit within me that empowers me to do this awesome work for Him!  Everyone who has been born of the Spirit (filled to capacity) has the potential and ability to do what He did and more.  I can and will do it, too!  But not because I AM something I AM NOT anything without Him.  If I AM NOT a branch connected to the vine, I AM DEAD!  He cuts me off and I AM NOT existing anymore.

I didn't choose Him.  HE CHOSE ME!  HE CHOSE YOU!  If He chose us, He will provide all that we need.  I LACK NOTHING because what I have, He gave to me!  He has given you EVERYTHING you need to fulfill the purpose He has for you on this earth. John 15:16

This is NOT merely a "pie in the sky" mentality.  This is the REALITY of what the Father intends to do FOR and THROUGH His people.

What are the things you would do differently if you kept this in mind?  What haven't you accomplished yet because you forgot the I AM and the I AM NOT?

Last week at church was "FUN".  Hurricane Ike came through with a vengence Sunday morning.  Just before church started, the winds became extremely fierce.  After about 25 minutes of our Sunday School, we lost all power.  With the assistance of other sources of light, we completed the last 20 minutes.

Began the second part of service and gathered everyone as close as possible towards the front.  Tricia played the baby grand and we had a great time of praise and worship.  The presence of the Lord was strong.  After about 15-20 minutes of good worship, we prayed and ventured out into the blistery wind.  Trees uprooted, limbs down everywhere, lawn furniture thrown across the yard, etc.  Fortunately, one of our favorite places to eat, Debbie J's,  had power.  No other place near them had power.  (Hmmm...a God thing?)

Last night's prayer meeting was AWESOME!  God began to speak to me as I was completely lost in Him.  It felt so good to be in His presence like that.  It was as if I were in a soundproof, protective room as the Lord began to speak into me.  I got messed up by Him - AGAIN!  Lost all track of time.  One of the things He spoke was about our need to have our batteries replaced.  We sometimes lose power and are sluggish.  Summer months many times can affect us that way.  It's time to replace the batteries.  The body runs on electrical impulses.  We need to get RECHARGED!  Gave the people a "charge" to make a commitment to get reconnected in the body of Christ and in their relationship with the Lord.

Trying to keep up with the fast pace isn't easy.  He has replaced my weakened batteries.

Do you need to replace your batteries?

The organism has been known as Manna from Heaven, given to us by the divine as a way to reveal our true souls and pull the veil from our eyes that has haunted us since our birth.  Is it human nature to suppress the ability of the psyche and trap ourselves in this construct of society?  Can one human tell another it is unjust and criminal to explore the depths of the psyche responsibly?  Is it necessary to be shielded from the bounty of nature?  An organic mechanism of nature, criminal?  Is it the governments responsibility to protect us from ourselves, or is there another motive?

-RW

After an hour, the world of magick appeared in front of me, as if I could reach out and touch it.  The mysticism that is associated with this type of magick is not to be underestimated.  Simply consuming 3 caps of manna is enough to propel anyone to an utmost joyous, frightening, depressing and enlightening experience that will last upwards of 6 hours, as well as teach lessons that will stay with the psychonaut for the rest of their lives.

It is now a little after 11:15 PM on the occasion of my first experience with the manna.  Colors become more vivid than I have ever experienced, the intricate pattern and color of the body of my acoustic guitar comes to life.  The room bends as if it is fluid and organic.  A fly travels across the room.  My partner -- a cat who curiously stayed with me for the entirety of the experience (with one exception) -- and I watch it curiously as it buzzes around.  She swats at it and I laugh as we continue to watch it.  The music is organic yet has a geometrical feel, as if I could pair the melody with a geometrical shape in my minds eye. "Carbon Cased Lifeforms" was the choice.  The music becomes incredibly intricate and can change ones mindset in an instant when under the influence of the manna.

I now lie on my bed and stair at my ceiling with my companion.  It is white with black stripes running the length of the room spaced about 1 1/2' apart.  The white stripes are intricately flat yet lightly textured.  The ceiling breathes. I now know the manna has a tight grip on me and will persist until I an shaken to my core being.  Nothing matters except for here and now.  Materialism, consumerism, and other veils created by society melt away as you are rocked and stripped of all but your soul.

I stare at the ceiling for what seems like hours. The need to blink is non-existent (I test this and go several minutes without blinking my eyes -- the reflex is gone.)  The panels rotate flip and and squirm.  It continues to breathe almost like the gills of a fish.  The colors change.  The curious part about this experience is being able to create or feel anything your heart desires.  The ceiling turns yellow, but in an instant I think of an open meadow of green grass, and the ceiling responds to my request and changes green, and blades of grass curiously sprout out of the ceiling. Almost immediately my mood changes and I am now looking at a deep red, almost as if it transformed into a lava flow.

My companion and I lay on my bed, my body in complete extacy.  Never have I experienced such a relaxing feeling in my life. I feel light as a cloud when I move. All my aches and aliments are gone.   My mindset from this point has been joyous as I am overwhelmed with new experiences. Vision increases and everyday objects become fascinating.  Music is the gateway to emotion, and hearing is sharpened 10 fold.  A burning cigarette sounds like a crackling and raging fire.

It is at this point that I should note that manna has made me experience emotions that have been suppressed for a very long time.  If you are not willing to let go and release everything, you will learn nothing.  It is about 2 to 3 hours into the experience, and at this point the music had changed to something I find very depressing. I begin to sob.  My companion immediately knows something is wrong as she lies next to me, as if we could communicate through our energy alone.  The emotion is too much to handle as the music continues, I wish to be alone.  I  lock myself in my room, and go into the most depressing state of mind I have ever experienced.  I cry and release it all.

After about 15 minutes of this episode I regain my composure, dry my tears and let my partner back into my room.  I stare at the ceiling again, until I come the the realization that I am becoming frightened.. very frightened.  I soon realize what is wrong.  The music is now very dark industrial and metallic sounding (most likely Aphex Twin.)  I become terrified in a matter of seconds and rush to change the music to something more relaxing and happy.

I play with the cat, and it brings about the feeling of unity and overwhelming happiness and laughter.  The thought of how humans and animals get along and interact with one another.  I elaborate on these feelings and explore them deeply for some time.

It is now 3-4 hours into the experience and I am still in awe of my surroundings.  I lie on my right side and watch my arm against my ridged mattress pad and my white wall.  My arm transforms to brown, then green. My arm and ridges of my mattress pad fill with blood.  I become fascinated. I know it isn't real blood, and with my mind can make it appear and vanish at will.  I become excited at this new found power, and stare deeply at my arm against the white background of the wall.  The white paint turns dark blue like a night sky, complete with stars.  My arm appears as a desert landscape and I can enter and exit this world at will, at one point convincing myself I was standing in the middle of a desert covered with a starry night sky.

Five hours pass since the experience started, and I am mentally exhausted.  It was easy to fall asleep into the fifth hour, and I woke up the next morning feeling wonderful, but with a clouded memory of a baffling new experiences.  I believe I gained a better understanding of myself and now know there is still much to be explored by the human mind, and perhaps one day I will get to revisit this state of consciousness to again better myself.

The expansion of your mind in ways like this can only be achieved with years of meditation, but with manna can be achieved quickly by anyone and is a valuable tool at discovering that there is no limit to the human psyche, and that if you choose not experience this transformation you are in a sense limiting your own abilities and shielding yourself from your true nature.  I don't advocate use and believe we all make personal choices in our lives.  I strongly urge each individual do research before experiencing an altered state of consciousness.

Know your source, know your body, know your mind.

A story.

Philippians 1:20-30

For the record, I take my showers in the morning. I feel scuzzy if I don't. But I didn't take a shower this morning, because I slept in a box last night, along with many others from Hope. Now I'm feeling one of the many issues involved in getting out of homelessness. We often like to says that getting a job is the way to get out of homelessness: you just need to get a good job, and then you won't be stuck without a home. Well, maybe you'd hire me today, after one night in a box. After a week? Probably not. The hiring manager would ask me why I didn't clean up before the interview, and I sure wouldn't want to say, "I couldn't." When I was writing this sermon, I also didn't know whether I'd sleep at all well with that chilly east wind on my head all night, but I know I'm not as able and alert as I might have been. I still don't know anything about real homelessness, but today I feel at least a little solidarity with those who didn't have the choice of where to sleep last night.

The Night Without a Home project is unique. It started as a fundraiser for Project Homeless Connect in Duluth, which is an annual service fair. It's a one-stop place to meet people's needs as they experience homelessness. Now, Project Homeless Connect is moving away from giving out blankets and hats, to focus more on services: treatment for chemical dependency or mental illness, work and job training, or transitional housing. As the event expands onto the Range, it's dealing with a different scale and kind of homeless population than exists in Duluth. The funds raised this first year go more toward emergency assistance, but eventually they'll support more transitional services as well. The goal is on the back of my fancy new t-shirt: "Ending, not enduring homelessness."

That goal resonates with us. Blankets and handouts just make homelessness okay, but we really want people to be able to support themselves in their own homes. We want our help to be permanent. Our vision of support is systemic, about empowering others to care for themselves, not to encourage dependency. That's a good big-picture approach. We want to get at the root of the problem, or we're in danger of enabling the problem. We could just keep homelessness from being a real "crisis" because churches and government handouts keep the situation just below crisis level.

There's a story to help think about getting at this "big picture" that's especially popular among those of us who call ourselves "progressives." One version goes like this:

One summer in the village, the people in the town gathered for a picnic. As they leisurely shared food and conversation, someone noticed a baby in the river, struggling and crying. The baby was going to drown!

Someone rushed to save the baby. Then, they noticed another screaming baby in the river, and they pulled that baby out. Soon, more babies were seen drowning in the river, and the townspeople were pulling them out as fast as they could. It took great effort, and they began to organize their activities in order to save the babies as they came down the river. As everyone else was busy in the rescue efforts to save the babies, two of the townspeople started to run away along the shore of the river.

"Where are you going?" shouted one of the rescuers. "We need you here to help us save these babies!"

"We are going upstream to stop whoever is throwing them in!"

It goes without saying that babies just don't go in the river in the first place. People don't go in boxes. They don't belong in migration from couch to couch night after night. It's one thing to help people who are dealing with homelessness right now. It's another to keep people out of homelessness in the first place, and that of course has to be our preference.

But tell that to the person who needs off the streets with their family today. Sure, there's some fundamental work that has to be done, but people need to be fed and housed at the same time. Our preference about what to do is usually skewed by whatever our viewpoint happens to be: liberals tend to emphasize systemic change, and conservatives are more likely to prefer individual giving to solve the problem. Each of them is being true to their own worldview. Obviously, we can do both. The balance is complicated, but it's not impossible to find. We can especially find a balance within the church, or in the world as a whole, if we recognize that God is at work in both approaches.

It's easy to see God at work in systemic change. God created the world, and of course God can change it. We look for God to recreate a just world, to rebuild it as if from scratch. So, God must be with those who are working to change the world and rebuild just structures. After all, God was with Israel in the desert, leading the people to that Promised Land.

But God was also in the desert when the people were hungry and complaining about their lack of food. They said they would prefer to be slaves with enough food rather than being free people in the desert and starving to death. Moses and Aaron seem irked about this, but really, can you blame the people? This home in the Promised Land will be useless if they don't survive to see it.

God was in the desert hearing that, and God propped the people up along the way. Of course, God led the people into the Promised Land in due time, but he did more than that. God's presence was with the people. God's presence restored the people every day with meat and bread. Just as much as in the pillar of fire, God's presence was in the manna, feeding the people every day. Sure, this just enabled the problem - the people became dependent on the manna - but it was all to bring about a day when the manna could stop and the people's own crops could start feeding them.

In the same way, Paul, writing to the Philippians, feels torn between perfection and the reality he faces today. He would love to escape the world, to be with Christ in heaven, but he can't let himself go yet. We might not see death as closely as Paul does, but we know his dilemma. We could have simple joy in Christ, with our loved ones, in a sanctuary (either here or elsewhere), but most of us are somehow called back to the world, back to all of the messes we find here.

Paul stays "in the flesh" in order to bring others out of the flesh to Christ. And that's just what Christ did too. Christ had perfect joy in heaven, but in Christ God joined us in the flesh, in our brokenness. Christ came to make all of life immeasurably better, but he also came to improve each life he met. He didn't just empower people, he also fed them. He didn't just heal people's illnesses, he made them whole in profound ways.

Jesus always did both of these things. God is always doing both things. She's feeding us in this wilderness, all the while leading us into the Promised Land. This is the way of God, to be with us and with all people, and beyond all our ability, God makes new life from our problems. Thanks be to God.

Amen.

In scanning the internet the week, I ran across the following article that appeared this past Thursday in something called Canada.com by a Monique Polak:

Not enough sleep? Kids not helping around the house? Can't keep up with all your work? Quit your griping, says Will Bowen in his new book, “A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted.” Only the Kansas City minister says so in a kinder, gentler way. Bowen, a media darling since he appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show, believes complaining only makes our lives worse. "If you complain," he writes, "you'll receive more to complain about." Bowen is behind the Complaint Free World program. His organization has distributed millions of purple bracelets worldwide. The people who wear the bracelets commit to going 21 days without griping. Not only that, but they also swear off gossip and criticism. "What's left to talk about?" you might ask.  Bowen understands complaining is rampant; he calls it "our default setting." He also acknowledges that sometimes, complaining makes sense. He warns, however, that it's essential to express what we want rather than complain about the way things are. "Focus," he advises, "beyond the problem." Bowen's little book is an eye opener. Even readers who think they seldom complain may catch themselves in the act. And if Bowen is right, complaining isn't doing us any good. In fact, he's convinced complaining serves only to maintain the status quo; it prevents us from moving forward. Complaining also fatigues those who have to listen to us because, as Bowen points out, there's nothing more draining than hanging out with a complainer. Bowen recommends finding a "Complaint Free Buddy" - someone who can support us as we kick the complaining habit. (Canada.com “When Complaining Only Makes it Worse, 9/18/2008)

            Well, can you go 21 days without complaining?  I guess most of us complain a little too much, and after observing Dasa and Klara now for six weeks I have decided that maybe it is a trait of spoiled Americans.  They both are so grateful for everything and never complain about anything.  Just being around them is a breath of fresh air and you feel good about the human race.  I am really not much of a complainer, but I have my moments.  In fact, I want to get it all out in the open this morning, so I have complied a list of things I am complaining about or tired of complaining about:

1. Political banter – I am sick of it, and it has not even kicked into high gear yet

2. I am tired of any remarks that have anything to do with lipstick – from either party

3. I am tired of high gas prices and tired of filling up my mobile refinery, AKA my GMC Yukon

4. I am tired of crummy Razorback football

5. I am tired of great Florida and LSU football and I am tired of LSU beating Auburn!

6. I am sick and tired of those stupid Cavemen insurance commercials on TV, ditto for the ones with the talking lizard

7. I am tired of hurricanes wiping out my favorite beach vacation spots

8. I am tired of the now heavy traffic in Maumelle

9.  I am tired of being tired of stuff.       

10. I am tired of complaining, so I will stop at ten

            Well, complaining and negativity can become malignant, so I will stop there and try to be more grateful when possible, although gratitude is not nearly a contagious as grumbling.  I will never forget going to Florida after Hurricane Francis in 2004 to do crisis response work.  I was amazed at the devastation, and at the many remarkable people who lost it all.  But the ones I heard the most complaints from were not the ones who lost everything (many of whom took it in stride and were thankful that they still had their lives), but those who were simply inconvenienced by not having electricity for a couple of weeks.  What a bunch of whiners!  I complain too about such small inconveniences as I have been without power several times lately, but frankly those loses pale in comparison to our neighbors to the south that lost their entire homes in Gustav or Ike.

            In our lectionary passage today, we have a most unbelievable story about a bunch of griping, complaining, ingrates. The children of Israel had just been freed from slavery in Egypt and freed from the whips of their evil taskmasters where their lives were not worth dirt.  But that was now behind them, they were heading toward a land that God has promised, a land of milk and honey.  They got another chance at a good life, and their ancestors never had such hope.  They had witnessed the power of Jehovah God firsthand in the most dramatic of ways.  Without any additional loss of their lives, Yahweh slapped the tar out of mighty Pharaoh and destroyed his army.  Heck, they could see the Almighty in their midst from the cloud that led them by day and the pillar of fire at night, described as the “Shekinah” or dwelling place of God. And because of seeing the salvation of the Lord firsthand in a visible way that most of us could only dream about they were as happy as clams.  NOT!!! 

            Amazingly, they gripped and complained every step of the way. And after what they had been through, that was pretty unbelievable. Our text says in verse two and following, “There in the desert they started complaining to Moses and Aaron, “We wish the LORD had killed us in Egypt. When we lived there, we could at least sit down and eat all the bread and meat we wanted. But you have brought us out here into this desert, where we are going to starve."

            Indeed the story of the Exodus and in their continued adventures in the book of Numbers, we see grumbling and complaints at every turn.  Now maybe it is human nature to complain, but come on, they had seen the evidence of God’s leadership like no others in history.  So I ask you this morning, how could they go from gratitude to grumbling so quickly?  This is amazing that after what they had witnessed.  It makes no sense. This is worse than those Floridians who complained about no electricity when their neighbors were blown completely away.  How ungrateful can you get?  It makes no sense, whatsoever.  No one could be this spoiled who had gone through what they had experienced in slavery and bondage.  This story just doesn’t add up.  We complain in America because we have so much, and we have a strong sense that we are entitled to so many things because every other American has so many things. And in a twisted sense you can understand why some people complain who should otherwise be grateful.  But in our text today, there is no logical reason for them to be so ungrateful.  But the point of the story is that they were, and once again God has to do something miraculous to get them back on board. Once again Moses has to say “shut up and pay attention”; yet again Yahweh is going to let you know how the cow eats the cabbage.

            Lest we be too hard on the chosen ones, I would suggest to you that the children of Israel’s problem was not an intellectual problem but an emotional one.  Were they grumbling for a good reason? No, of course not.  But they were grumbling, and I would suggest to you today that if we had been in their place we would have been to, and here is why: Their complaints took on the form of hard questions. They had questions that had to be asked that were not based on reason or experience, but on some emotional or spiritual need.   God had always provided, God had come through in a mighty way in the nick of time, but the children of Israel were still afraid, they still didn’t have as smooth of path as they would like.  God freed them, they wanted more.  So in the end, in spite of all the supernatural events that they witnessed, the children of Israel still grumbled, complained, and rebelled. Yes, they had hardships: living in the desolate wilderness; sometimes enduring starvation and extreme thirst; not being able to see where their next meal and their next drink of water would come from; those times must have been extremely difficult. However, whenever they reached the limits of their endurance, God never failed to provide. Again and again, God performed a miracle on their behalf, in their time of greatest need. 

            But whatever object lesson God was intending to convey, they didn’t get it. So they did what any of us would do when we are confused and afraid– they ask questions, and they complained. 

            Their questions were similar to the ones we all ask but we already know the answer to but we only feel better if we ask them.  Questions of the heart and not of the mind. Questions that are born out of hardship and not ones from peace or prosperity.  And when we are frightened, alone, sad, in crisis, in transition or grief stricken we too have such complaints.  Does these complaints make sense?  No, not intellectually-- but yes, they do emotionally.

            Some years ago, maybe 20 years ago (but I remember it well), I was called to the hospital when Med-Flight went after a patient.  It seems that this young man who would be our patient had made some poor choices.  He was Hang gliding off of Petit Jean.  Do you know what Hang Gliding is?  It is where you strap a big Kite to your back and jump off a high spot and try to soar like an eagle and pray you don’t flop like a turkey.  This man was more like the later as he made a few logistical errors.  Number one, it was his first attempt at Hang gliding and he chose the highest spot on Petit Jean, right near her grave for his descent.  Secondly, he was highly intoxicated, and thirdly it was after dark.  It was a recipe for disaster, and that is why he woke up in our Surgical Intensive Care Unit.  I went by to see him; he was a mess and connected to about every life support device we can connect someone to.  Although conscious, he was unable to speak due to the respirator tube down his throat.  So I would faithfully go by everyday and simply poke my head in the door and say the following script: “Hi, I am Stan the chaplain, and I know you can’t talk right now, but I just want you to know that I am thinking about you and praying for you.  God Bless.”  He usually would just aim his penetrating eyes in my direction and any other emotion was hidden by his inability to physically express them.  I went by day after day and repeated this same scenario. Then one morning, I walk in his room and he was sitting up in the bed and he had the respirator and much of the other equipment removed.  I said, “Well, look at you, you are looking better.  I am the chaplain, do you remember me?” He said, “Oh sure, thanks for coming by.  But I want to ask you a question.”  “Let me have it,” I replied.  I will never forget his question as I must have looked dumbstruck: “Why did God do this to me?”  I thought to myself, what an idiot.  God didn’t do this to you man, you did it to yourself.  You were hangliding – stupid.  You were hangliding drunk – stupid. You were hangliding for the first time off a high mountain highly intoxicated and after dark – you idiot, you are lucky to be alive; you ought to be asking instead why you deserve to have God spare your life.  But I didn’t say any of those things.  What did I say?  “I don’t know the answer to your question. You have been through a lot; I know it doesn’t seem fair, does it?”

            You see his question was not one of intellect, but one of emotion.  No one asks “why me God” who doesn’t care about God to begin with.  If you don’t care about God, then you don’t ask that question.  He knew that he had made poor choices, and in the end he knew that he brought it all on himself.  But you see his question was emotional, not intellectual because he was grieving.  And when the question is emotional the question is always more important than the answer.  Always.  And if you haven’t asked these kinds of nonsensical questions, you will.  That is not a threat, it is reality.

            And these questions are very simple, but haunting. Some are difficult, perplexing, frustrating, disappointing, and even anger producing. They are enough to make you complain loudly, even in the wake of a great miracle or two.   As a minister, I am often almost daily asked questions by people who are experiencing grief or some other kind of significant suffering.  These questions may be very specific, or they may be very general.  They may be aimed at someone or they may be directed at no one in particular.  They may have obvious answers, or they may have impossible answers.  They may be rhetorical or they may earnestly desire an answer.  They may come from the heart or from the head.  Yes, we have questions. Hard questions. Unanswerable questions.  You might have to fight extreme doubt and challenges to your faith.   You might experience regrets and have feelings of missed opportunities.

            So today I thought I would share with you my favorite three questions of the heart, just in case you are ever stuck out in the middle of nowhere with no manna to be found. The first question: What if?  The poet Shell  Silversteen wrote: Last night while I lay thinking here, some what ifs crawled inside my ear, and pranced and partied all night long, and sang their same old what if song. The what if question is one that results from anxiety, anxiety such as grief.  This question is the question of the second guess.  If only I could have done something differently.  If only I could go back in time.  What if I had gotten him to the doctor sooner? What if I had decided differently? What if she had just done this or that?  The what if question is difficult on us because the person is second guessing themselves or perhaps taking responsibility for someone else’s life.  It is frustrating because you can’t ever turn back the clock and live in yesterday, you can only live in today.  While we would give anything for things to have turned out differently, the what if question is one that reminds us of our finitude and our powerlessness over lives and destinies.  It gnaws at our sense of peace and hope by undermining our personal strength and resources.  And because of its nature as a second guesser, it is particularly aggravating and persistent.  It is a question that can’t be realistically answered.

            The second question is just as difficult and just as common. The second question is: How Long?  We find these verses in Psalm 13:

            “How long, O God?  Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?  How long must I bear pain in my soul, and have sorrow in my heart all day long?”

            We don’t know exactly why the psalmist was in such a bad place, but his pain was unmistakable. He paints a dark picture of despair and of being overcome with depression.  He is haunted by memories of better times and finds himself with the lingering questions of crisis.  Why me? Why now? And the especially piercing question, How long?  How long O lord do I ask and do you not answer?  How long must I suffer and hurt?  How long before things are better and life returns to normal?  How long, O Lord, How long?  These certainly seemed unanswerable to the psalmist.  For his was a spiritual crisis as well as an emotional crisis as well as a physical crisis.  The how long question is usually directed toward God.  It is a frustrating question because you can’t ever turn forward the clock and live in tomorrow, you can only live in today. It too, is a question that can’t be realistically answered.

            The third question may be the hardest question that you’ll never see on Jeopardy.  The third question is the age old one: Why me?   The what if question causes us to want to live in yesterday.  The how long question points us toward tomorrow.  But the question of why me is a question framed in today, which may be why it is the hardest for many people.  And we who have somewhat less than the strength and patience of Job find ourselves dealing with this question none the same.  Philosophers and theologians have written volumes on trying to answer this question and its variations.  And whatever answers that they have come up with leave us unsatisfied.  There must be a reason we say for this to have happed this way.   Sometimes this simple explanation suffices, sometimes it does not.  The truth is, that even if we had complete understanding it still would probably not be enough.  Because this question, like the other two, and the many others you may have thought of, are questions of the heart, not questions of the mind, despite what the world’s great thinkers would suggest to us.  Whatever answers there are to these questions are also of the realm of the heart and it is precisely there that we must look for relief.

            So what do we do with the Children of Israel, and what do we do with our own questions as well?  We simply asked them.  Our pain and grief often begins with questions that plague us and answers that elude us.  And our pain often ends by coming to grips with the ambiguity of life–from realizing that the questions and the permission to ask them are way more important than the answers anyway.  After all, answers only raise more questions when you are hurting.  And when you follow your heart you often discover a companion for the journey by finding God was there at your side all along.  Because chances are, God has provided manna in our own wilderness as well.   He doesn’t always take away all of our problems, and he doesn’t always answer our prayers like we think they always should be answered, but in the book of Exodus we do learn this:  He always hears our cries, always.  And he always walks with us through the wilderness, always.  And just when we think we are going to starve to death, he gives us manna.  Always.  And that may not be the answer we are looking for to our own hard questions, it is an answer that I am learning to be grateful for, because when life is hard, God’s guiding presence is the best good news one could ask for.  Thanks be to God! Amen.