Size: 27"~32"

Bukan ku sengaja meninggalkan apatah lagi andai dikata sudah luntur semangat ataupun hangat-hangat tahi ayam untuk berblog. Sepanjang sebulan kembali di tanah air, menjalani ibadah puasa kemudian sempat beraya 2 hari bersama keluarga, hanya memungkinkan untuk menulis 1 artikel ke blog asadulqalb ini. Aduh, alangkah perlahannya..

Setelah seminggu pulang semula ke bumi Jepun berbagai perkara telah pun selesai; kemasukan ke universiti tahun hadapan, mid term presentation untuk graduation research. Alhamdulillah, dengan izin tuhan satu persatu telah dapat diselesai dan dimuktamadkan. Terima kasih juga kepada rakan-rakan dan sahabat yang menghulurkan doa serta sokongan. Teringat kata-kata seorang sahabat, "Selesaikan satu-satu Zul". Sekali lagi, Alhamdulillah dan terima kasih..

Kini, terasa sedikit kelapangan yang melapangkan. Namun beringatlah, anak muda dibunuh oleh masa lapangnya yang tidak terisi. Terasa ingin benar untuk aktif kembali berblog, tapi disebabkan ketiadaan komputer di bilik mungkin keinginan itu belum benar-benar dapat diterjemahkan kepada tindakan. InsyaAllah komputer baru akan dibeli bulan hadapan. Sekurang-kurangnya masa yang ada boleh digunakan untuk menelaah buku bacaan yang banyak dibawa dari Malaysia. Meneruskan proses menajamkan mata-mata gergaji walau selepas Ramadhan. Asah jangan tak asah..

Di kesempatan ini juga dan belum terlambat rasanya, penulis ingin mengucapkan..

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, minal aidin wal faizin

Diatas segala salah dan silap, seribu kemaafan di pohon

Akhir kata..aku ingin kembali, rehatku hanya sekadar untuk mengesat hanyir darah di pedang perjuangan...

Seeru `ala Barakatillah

Então, como vocês bem sabem... eu estava muito curiosa para saber, como seria engolir porra. Pois bem, ENGOLI!!!

Mas calma! Não foi nada como num filme pornô. Foi muito tranqüilo e natural.

Lá estava eu, com o M, numa madrugada qualquer dessas...

Comecei a bater uma punhetinha pra ele... Eu gosto de bater e chupar, é tão bom! Vou chupando, deixando o pau dele bem molhadinho. Deslizo minha mão pra cima e pra baixo. Alternando entre chupadas, bater e chupar e só bater. Eu adoro! É uma delícia, sentir o pau ficar cada vez mais duro na minha mão.

Melhor ainda, é pegar o cara de surpresa... dormindo...

Entro de baixo dos lençóis, pego o pau dele e começo a chupar! Uuummmmm rápidinho fica duro! Nem preciso dizer q ele acorda né! rs rs rs - madrugada é fatal pra mim, sinto um tesão da porra! -

Bom, voltando a porra...

Depois que fiquei um tempão batendo punheta e chupando... ele começou a se contorcer e avisou que iria gozar. Continuei batendo e encostei minha boca no pau... Quando ele começou a gozar, fiquei com a boca entreaberta sentindo aqueles jatos de porra! Estava tão bom, que acabei chupando! Inevitavelmente, engoli a porra que ficou na minha boca.

O bom é que nós já tínhamos transados outras vezes, então a quantidade não era muito grande. Mas foi bom, foi muito bom!

.

* M !!! vamos fazer de novo nesse final de semana?!

I love these. They're actually almost gone, so I thought I'd better post them while they still even exist.

What's new? Thanks for asking.

Let's see.

I'm still reading those silly vampire books (scroll down to Harris).

I'm excited about fall clothes.

The sweater I'm knitting -- it's looking like I may actually finish it! I think it's going to be big enough. I still like it. There isn't all that much left -- all good signs.

A good friend from 30 years ago, whom I have probably not seen for 10 years, is in town, and I'm looking forward to seeing her.

I've got some gardening to do this weekend. I've got some daffodils to plant, and a few things to move around. Plus I need to buy a few flagstones for here and there.

Otherwise, not much.

Uh oh -- time to go remind M it's nearly time to go -

(Phew.)

That's all.

As if you haven't got enough languages already, Microsoft is about to give you one more: M, part of its Oslo development and service-oriented strategy.

The company is today due to announce M, for building textual domain-specific languages (DSLs) and software models with XAML. Microsoft will also announce Quadrant, for building and viewing models visually, and a repository for storing and combining models using a SQL Server database.

The trio will be released in early access as an Oslo Community Technology Preview (CTP) at Microsoft's Professional Developers' Conference (PDC) this month for testing.

There's no date yet on final availability, although the smart money's on inclusion with Visual Studio 2010 - for which there's no release date.

Oslo is Microsoft's big new push to give developers tools and techniques in modeling and code re-use to improve the design, build, and testing of software. The SOA tie-in comes through the ability to combine models with things such as Microsoft's Windows Workflow Foundation (WF) for process and workflow.

It's a fresh take on an existing model and code re-use concept. Some years back, Microsoft was pushing the idea of Software Factories that featured in the then-new Visual Studio Team System (VSTS).

Software Factories used DSLs and XML for you to build re-usable models that punched out code for specific uses - or domains such as, say, HR in banking.

The factories idea came as it attempted to "democratize" application lifecycle management (ALM) with VSTS by making tools for modeling and testing easier to use. Also, Microsoft was adopting the idea of working with highly tuned DSLs rather than the more generic industry standard Unified Modeling Language (UML), which was seen by some as bloated with version 2.0.

While an admirable strategy, Software Factories have not taken off as Microsoft had probably hoped, and modeling remains a pursuit not of coders but mostly of architects and designers.

Robert Wahbe, corporate vice president of Microsoft's connected systems division, told The Reg that Oslo would give Software Factories a "huge boost" as it would make models easier to build both textually and visually. Wahbe said M will provide unique services not available in other languages - in declarative keywords and syntax and how the DSL is translated and stored in the repository.

Microsoft said it's working with ISVs in order to customize and extend Oslo, particularly in the creation of line-of-business applications and DSLs.

Cross-platform is also in the mix: Wahbe said M could be compiled on Linux and Mac. All ISVs need do is to build a "back end" to the M compiler. You'd have to build in Visual Studio, though, and your models be stored in Microsoft's SQL Server that runs only on Windows.

"The platform executes the model...that model is type written in XML. The reason is, it's a model and that XML file specifies what's intended - not how to do it," Wahbe said.

For those who don't want to get syntactical, Microsoft plans a modeling tool codenamed Quadrant. Wahbe said this will be a generic editor that lets you view a model as a list of nodes, a tree, graph, or boxes of lines laid our for a workflow and combine views to visualize the model.

Underpinning this will be the repository, where you will be able to combine models. Wahbe said models could be combined because they'd be translated into their basic elements - tables. The repository will support models from third parties and those built using UML in addition to those constructed in M and Quadrant.

Microsoft plans to announce plans for packaging and delivery of Oslo pending that CTP feedback, sometime in 2009. Over to you CTP peeps...®

It's starting to feel a little chilly in the morning.

You're still okay in shorts and flipflops by noon, but you'd be glad of a sweater about 8.

Life is different with N gone. We have more time. I can sit and read on the couch after work. M will be up in her room doing her homework, only occasionally wanting something.

It's also the time of year, I think. We've fallen into that dark early, eat dinner and be glad to stay indoors, happy to have a routine time of year. We're not tired of having a schedule yet, and we're looking forward to sweaters and tights and actual shoes.

I'm looking forward to putting the garden to bed, although there are still a few things to do.

Anyway.

Happy fall.

La cosa che giustamente manda in bestia Bordone è la corsa di Biani ad autodefinirsi "censurato" (probabilmente aspira ad un comizio in Piazza Navona o a una presenza sul palco del Primo Maggio). Premetto a scanso di equivoci che ha mandato in bestia anche me. Però c'è sempre un però e il mio lo volevo inserire in un commento sul blog di Matteo Bordone, ma -visto che del tema censura mi sono occupato in passato- ho deciso di trasformarlo in un post per Champ's Version.

Concordo su tutto quanto scritto in quel post, tranne che su un dettaglio. Scrive Bordone:

Quando si fa leva su uno stereotipo culturale per suscitare l’indignazione e prendere degli applausi si fa un’operazione semplice: populismo reazionario. [...] Si può essersi convinti che sia il caso di rinunciare alla satira in favore di un più efficace populismo reazionario militante. Ma quello è. Bisogna saperlo. E se il direttore di un giornale o di una rete decide di non volere nel proprio palinsesto dei populisti reazionari (cha abbiano torto o ragione, che ci sia o meno il regime) può legittimante decidere che non è il caso. La censura è tutta un’altra cosa. Non scherziamo.

Tutto giusto, ma si dà il caso che il direttore del giornale dove pubblica Biani ha deciso che invece lo vuole in "palinsesto". Questo ci autorizza a non comprare M, visto che pubblica vignette che non fanno ridere, populiste e reazionarie. Infatti io non lo compro, anzi a pensarci bene non compro nemmeno l'Unità. Autorizza noi a non compralo, ma non autorizza Gasparri o chi per lui ad indignarsi e a gridare alla istigazione a delinquere.

Quella sì che ha il vago sapore della censura. Non tanto per Biani, che anzi potrà continuare a disegnare vignette populiste e reazionarie con le stigmate del Martire e avverare il suo sogno di presentare il Concertone, ma preventiva per i Biani che devono venire.

E che magari, al contrario del capostipite, farebbero anche ridere.

公元547年，杨衒之路过洛阳，这时候的洛阳已经是一片废墟，他感怀兴衰，写下了《洛阳伽蓝记》。他大概不会想到，等到唐朝之时，洛阳再度繁华起来。李碧华写过一篇很短的文章，幻想自己坐着一辆超越时空的地铁回到了唐朝，开始在洛阳旅游，从邙山脚下游至魏家园子，那时他们的“魏紫”牡丹盛放，然后逛到端门街，“那儿盛陈百戏，灯天烛地”。“当龙灯的火焰吐尽，月也淡薄，花也倦昏，不管遇上什么，也只好乘最后一列地铁回到香港了”。柯杨写过一本小说叫《洛城故事》，他描述了一个工匠，一边辛苦工作，一边期盼着和战乱中离散的妻子重聚，他精心雕刻佛像，想把自己妻子的形象也融入其中。柯杨是个博士，学艺术史，业余写小说，但这小说写的是幻境，看得我晕头胀脑。倒是书后附有的一个长文，《洛阳是一座什么样的城市》，非常明白好看。他讲述自己在洛阳考察的故事，感叹中国古建筑99%都毁掉了，只剩下1%，而颠来覆去的建设一直没有停止。

柯杨还在写另一个小说，叫《长安的烟火》，他把其中一些章节传给我看，文章开头是1910年的波罗的海海滨，两个退役的军官谈论中国长安，我问他这样一个小说为啥要用西方人来开头，他认真的回信：“构思这些文字的过程中，我也受到了很多我可以接触到的文学作品，乃至建筑理论的影响，包括博尔赫斯和卡尔维诺。让他者讲故事的手段有些俗套，不过却是故事的前提，因为西风濡染下的我们已经不同于我们的先人，我们今天看到的‘古代’，事实上是一种基于不同关心的错解，这是我从事的艺术史研究的一个基本立论。而这种错解引起的‘幻觉’是我很多小说的核心主题。”

最近有本书叫《杜甫的五城》，作者赖瑞和研究唐代的军事与边防制度，他在祖国大地上旅行了四年，在长安城流连，驱（自行）车登了李商隐的古原，和杜甫一样去“谒昭陵”。还寻访了大明宫，其实就是几个大土堆，看了玄武门，如今是一片玉米地。生者为过客，死者为归人。天地一逆旅，同悲万古尘。话是这么说，但我总疑心，这样的寻古之旅是不是太做作了，1000年多前的事情，我没有那么好的想象力。如果让我来一趟穿越之旅，我也不喜欢回到任何一个盛世，大概是《茶馆》看多了，我宁愿回到清末民初的北京，在大酒缸里喝点儿老酒，买点儿羊头肉，和一个穿青色裙子白褂子的女学生谈谈恋爱。

柯杨还谈到《罗马露台》这本书，他说，这小说的灵感可能来自于著名蚀刻版画家Giovanni Battista Piranesi及其作品，我就上网找这位画家的作品看，发现Piranesi也是一种三维绘图软件的名字，画家笔下的罗马现在还是装饰画行当里的热门产品。其实，也有许多画家描绘过北京城，每次看到，都让我黯然神伤。美国有个建筑师叫路易·康，他说城市是提供所需的地方，孩子来到城市，看到一些事物，让他决定着一生想要做什么。我在北京看到的，就是老东西被毁掉，新东西不断冒出来，但从一个更大的历史维度来看，这也没什么好可惜。曹植的文章早就说了，昔汤之隆也，则夏馆无馀迹；武之兴也，则殷台无遗基；周之亡也，则伊洛无只椽；秦之灭也，则阿房无尺梠。汉道衰则建章撤，灵帝崩则两宫燔。拿柯杨自己的话说，中国古代建筑史其实应该写作“中国古代拆迁史”。

北京也有许多地方没有拆掉，被有钱人接收下来，进行一番认真的改造，再强调其传承。最近我也有机会进行一趟“穿越之旅”，前门东大街23号，现在号称是北京顶级的奢侈场所，有法国餐厅意大利餐厅日本餐厅还有画廊，原来是清末的美国大使馆，1971年周恩来先生在这里接见过基辛格，我对这地方没什么印象了，一位朋友说，这里原来是“炎黄国医馆”，还有一位更上岁数的朋友说，这里是“首都工人民兵指挥部”，1976年四五运动，革命群众就放火烧过其中一栋小楼。我沿着整修一新的前门大街去找23号，就如同处身于电影布景之中，早年间我也到这里寻访过八大胡同，那也曾经是北京最了不起的社交场合，赛金花、小凤仙都在那儿演出过今古传奇。走到前门火车站，这里是1949年***进入北京的所在，有个小伙子拦住我问“住不住宾馆”，要不要参加“北京一日游”，我问他“23号”在哪里，他一指马路对面：“就在那儿”。我放眼望去，那里的灯光很低调的奢华着，香车在引导员的指挥下停到马路牙子上，美女款款入场。走进院子，正中的草坪上正搭建舞台，盛陈百戏，灯天烛地。等散场之时，月也淡薄，花也倦昏，我怎么也打不到车，远处城楼之上的灯火依旧亮堂堂的，仿佛永远不会熄灭。

la verità è che in fondo tutti noi siamo degli esteti, anche se non lo ammettiamo.

Cherry blossom of the day :

"... we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that's so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless." - Paul Bowles

This is my to do list :

♥ write 1 essay in which I have to motivate why I want to study English. one of the copies will go to Cambridge... nuff said [ not that I have a chance in hell, but still it used to never hurt to try, now... I don't really know, but still, but still.....] - by Sunday

♥ help write recommendation letter of a maximum of 4000 words - by Sunday at 3:30 pm

♥ finish writing everything on the UCAS site - by Monday morning

♥ finish the application for Hotel School in Amsterdam  - by the end of next week

♥ finish application for Utrecht College in Utrecht - by the 1st of November

♥ get two more recommendation letters from your English teacher and your French teacher so you can prove your passion for languages and your ability to be a fast, dedicated, interested learner - by the 1st of November

♥ got to the bank and pay 15 pounds for UCAS, 140 euros for Hotelschool, before sending application

♥ make copies of your diplomas, certificates, ID and so on and so forth, before sending application to Holland

♥ Friday [ this Friday ] : finish 2 Romanian projects with fellow classmates [ honestly it's not that big of a deal, but still time consuming and very very VERY boring ]

♥ and my favourite part : 24 pages of grammar and one short essay [ aka 1 A4 page ] that I have to write for my French lesson on Saturday at 2pm .

I swear, that when I grow up, I am going to be a professional clock hunter, because these things are evil!!! The only things that's pushing us constantly further and further and further is time. It is so incredibly frustrating and annoying and tiring and useless to be constantly on the run, because that makes us all suicidal to some extent. We passe at first, then we're sprinting and jumping and running some more just to et there first and die. God made us so stupid and shallow ... it's unbelievable.

I recently read a book, about a guy who collects butterflies and has this insanely obsession with this blonde, beautiful girl, so he kid napes he. He does not harm her, rape her or anything, he just keeps her safe, in a isolated room, in an isolated house, looks at her move, eat, sleep, drink, play, talk. It's just so profoundly impressing how people find that disgusting. I actually thought he was just living his life, he did what made him happy, he got what he wanted. And the girl, she's an artist, she thinks so highly of herself and analyses every little thing, [ like I am doing now ... 8-|] taking pride in spotting a beautiful painting or having talked to a famous,older painter, who takes somewhat of an interest in her. She is just so inexplicably one dimensional and buried in thoughts, books, stories, memories... I just hated her so much while I was reading the book. And I loved his courage and determination. That's what I want to be when I grow up. Even if I end up doing a bad thing! Although it is highly unlikely just because I've been raised with a strong foundation of right and wrong and because my aspirations don't involve having to commit a crime to reach them . But even so, if I somehow end up taking a wrong path that will take me a where I consider happiness and freedom to be, I would like to think that I will be strong, focused and determined enough to create for myself a place of joy. You only live once, and just trying to whole time to get there.... it's just not enough.

I am truly sorry if I don't make sense completely or if the entry is short, but time has always been my mortal enemy, it hates me so bad at times, I ended up thinking that it will start running to fast, I will be left out of it's sphere and I won't know where to go . Either way, I am now going to go through some French homework I did today, update my agenda and then, hopefully by 11 fall asleep, with the thought that everything is well scheduled.

Good night !

maschera

Probably should’ve bumped it up a place, because Junior wasn’t it the mood for boinging bounce-pop, or any kind of jumping jack. She conceded it was “happy”, but she wasn’t. She was being made to put her shoes on.

Or perhaps she really did find it irksome. Let me hear you say, “New York, London, Paris, Munich…”

Une heure plus tard dans la rue. Je lui ai laissé des messages. On a été dans un café. On a terminé ce qu'on devait faire. je n'ai pas voulu revenir chez elle. Un endroit neutre pour éviter la maltraitance. Il m'a raccompagné. Il a senti que je ne reviendrai plus jamais dans sa vie dorénavant. Je crois qu'il l'a senti, oui. 

J'ai passé deux nuits chez lui. A ne pas dormir. On s'est touché sans rien faire. Ses cheveux. Des petits déjeuner aussi. Des soirées. Tout ça s'est transformé en 7 ans de mariage ennuyeux. Peu à peu on a divorcé. Une lassitude commune. Et hier, c'était le moment de grâce, le retour du refoulé. Le moment où tout est clair. 

Il s'est excusé par téléphone, en sms. Même si c'est trop tard. Hier j'aurais pu être morte si je n'avais pas su partir en beauté. Quelque chose ne lui veut me tuer. Sans doute aussi quelque chose en moi. Sinon je ne serai pas restée si longtemps en sa compagnie .

J'ai envie de dormir.

Uuhhh...

Ska försöka pallra mig i väg till skolan och få lite arbete gjort. Måste göra klart labbuppgifterna i Databassystem A, rapporten ska tydligen vara inne på fredag. Måste kolla på vilka kurser jag ska läsa i vår också eftersom jag inte tänker göra exjobbet. Har för mycket släpande kurser att ta igen innan jag gör nåt sånt. Hoppas ärligt talat att jag lyckas hitta något jobb innan dess, är förbannat skoltrött.

I kväll ska jag tydligen på bio med M, A och J fick jag nyss veta . Hellboy 2. Ska försöka få hem första filmen så att jag hinner se den först.

Såg att Bill Maher var på Daily Show med Jon Stewart. Missade början, men han snackade tydligen om sin kommande film Religiolous (orkar inte kolla upp hur det stavas). Verkar vara lika bra som trailern jag såg för några månader sedan antydde. Känns bra att den här typen av anti-religiösa personer lyfts fram allt mer och mer i amerikansk media. Framförallt med tanke på att stolpskottet Sarah Palin riskerar att bli president om gamle gubben McCain vinner valet. Skrämmande. McCain hade för övrigt aldrig ens träffat Palin personligen när han utsåg henne till sin vicepresident, vilket säger rätt mycket om varför man faktiskt valde henne...

Men nog om det, nu måste jag släpa mig bort till högskolan. Stöön...

Feel sick physically, morally just tired.