He's down with fever, had a jab and got drowned by drugs the whole day.
Please get well soon you. It hurts to see you like that.

And tomorrow will be another day of lab (9-5pm) on at saturday! :( Then I've gotta go review that spoilt toe of mine. But I get to see him after school! :D

Can't wait can't wait.
i miss you silly thing

And I'm leaving it all behind...
to a place that I have to call "home"
-- thosands of miles from the ones I really love. The friends who really care. The place where he is.

P.S.
I won't even get to see him before I leave, won't be able to kiss his perfect lips and hold him in my arms. Session 2 ends tomorrow and I won't get to touch him. To speak to him, to whisper in his ear one more time or to dance with him. I'm going fucking mad, what if he found another girl? Fuck this, THIS is home. I have a passport here. I have a life. I SHOULD live here. I don't want to go back.

I don't.

Nyle signing out and going back to hell hole land.

111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

111111111

1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111  just one ---one person helped --- one other person --- no one --- no one any one --- anywhere --- anytime --- NOT ONE PERSON --- WOULD NEED --- HELP --- NOW YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO

THANK YOU PIXY AND GOD THE CREATOR OF ALL CREATION    I HAVE TO WRITE THE WORD PERIOD --- BECAUSE SOME ONE WILL STEAL THE PERIOD --- AND PUNCH IT OUT --- AN MAKE IT A ZERO ---- DO YOU KNOW THAT --- IF YOU PUT A CANCER GERM WITH A COLD GERM --- THE COLD GERM WOULD EAT THE CANCER GERM AFTER IT KILLED IT --- A BUG INSIDE --- MAKING YOU ILL --- CAN NOT BE TREATED --- ESPECIALLY--- IF ITS OUT TRYING TO GO IN --- EVERYTHING COMESD FROM IN AND GOES OUT --- THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH --- BUT WHAT WE ARE SUPPOSE TO DO --- IS EXSPEL --- WHAT IS IN OUT --- SWEAT SNOT SPEECH ANY WAY WE CAN WE HAVE TO GET IT OUT --- OK DOES ANY ONE WANT TO KNOW THE MYSTERY OF THE PYRMIDS --- OK WE'LL TELL YA --- THEY WERE BUILT --- ON PURPOSE --- UPSIDE DOWN --- \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/\/\/ --- OK LETS SAY THIS --- LETS SAY I HAVE MY HEAD SO FAR UP MY ASS --- I CANT SEE --- SO LETS DO WHAT IF --- WHAT IF I AM CORRECT --- I HAVE SAFETYS --- THATS A BARGAIN WITH GOD --- DO ANY OF YOU HAVE ONE THATS --- SIGNED BY GOD --- MINE IS OUT THERE IN A BLOG ---  OH YE OF LITTLE FAITH ---         THANKS PIXY AND GOD THE CREATOR OF ALL CREATION

 “A woman can be anything the man who loves her would have her be.”

It's quiet.  Only the soft and velvety sounds of Ella Fitzgerald on the computer speakers.  It’s hot as hell outside, but still cozy in here.  There is one lamp lit on the far side of living room; and there are two scented votives flickering on the faux oak TV cabinet.  The candles scented with the same perfume that's been seductively dotted on my wrists and chest and between my thighs.  I'm in a very mellow and contemplative mood tonight.  Being alone does that to me sometimes.  However, I'm also restless, in a very womanly sort of way.  OK, hell, let's face it and call it what it is - I'm horny and alone.  Laying here in a black G-string and lace teddy with matching thigh hi's and heels.  Here I am, waiting for dessert to come walking through the door.  The only problem is that right now, I'm laying here thinking that instead of dessert, I'd really rather a luscious yet exotic appetizer or main course even.  The kind I can only get from a very long distance delivery, as I’m all alone in my thoughts. 

I close my eyes and can instantly feel your warm breath on my bare shoulder.  I imagine your lips moving gracefully toward the nape of my neck - just where you know I'll melt.  I can almost feel your hands deftly moving over the curves of my body.  My fingers begin to mirror the motions I imagine yours would make.  Outlining my cheeks and lips, as I nip at your fingertips.  My right hand slowly trails down my left arm.  In my head, my fingers are yours.  Feather light, your thumb circles my budding nipples.  So quickly and easily, your hands wake my body.  Your fingers firmly massaging my thighs and brushing over my G-string.

Not being able to control my own impulses, my palm seeks out your already hard cock; Pressing deftly against you.  Enough to make you catch your breath under my touch.  My own kisses meeting your lips hungrily.  Our tongues dancing, while my hands roam endlessly over your body.  Always, always coming back to the same hot throbbing center of my fantasies.  Taunting you.  Stroking you.  Teasing you.  Sweet and gentle is always nice, but for now, I need you, Darling.  I need to feel the way we fit together.  I need to feel our skin meld together.  Your fingers have already found the dewiness that being near you effects.  As my kisses move effortlessly from your chest to your neck, and my breath quickens, I ask you to take me, please. 

Feeling your weight over me, my legs eagerly spread to accommodate your body.  Hardness pressing toward my pussy.  Sliding between my wet lips.  The head of your cock teasing my clit flirtatiously.  My hips thrusting toward you - I just can't wait for you anymore.  I need you now.  Legs wrapping around you and pulling us closer together.  Trying to make us one.  Wiggling to fit our sex together the way we've always talked of being.  Finally.  And then moving as one, like the ebb and tide of the ocean's waves.  So many moans and sighs and purrs that we can't differentiate exactly which of us is making them.  You're holding my wrists in your hands above my head.  Taking my breasts into your mouth hungrily.  The sucking and biting driving me crazy.  Thrusts of your hot cock overloading my senses and pushing me... further along.  I hear my voice begging for you to fuck me harder, but I don't recall ever saying the words.  Tingling all through me.  Oh God, Please don't ever stop this.  Please.  I can hear our skin smacking together in that incredibly sexy wet sound that two bodies make when completely on fire.  That's it, Baby.  Just Like that.  I feel the waves begin to start to take over my body.  Over and over you enter me.  Each time, bringing me closer to you.  Filling me more.  I don't think I can hold off any more.  Pulsing and tensing in the most amazing sensations I can ever remember feeling.  And in the distance I can hear your smooth sexy voice calling my name, as your body starts to go rigid with its’ own passion.  The walls of my pussy milking every last drop out of you.  Your orgasm only making my own last longer.  And you collapse on top of me.  Both of us breathless.  My hands rubbing your shoulders and back.  I love the weight of your body on mine.  The feel of your head resting on my breasts.  A very content smile on my lips.  Gently I feel you kiss my nipple. 

I whisper in your ear..... I’m yours.

i miss how you look at me.

and suddenly everything around me reminds me of you.

i wish my pride would let me dial..

Nostalgia is where you recall a former memory or experience of a particular moment in your life. Something many of the old timer's do...frequently about the same thing over and over again without realizing it. Take into effect that it serves many purposes. A hopeless 47 yr. old drunk wash-up would babble "I cOuld hAve maaadE sooomeTING [hicup] of my F@%$in' seLF! But nooOOOoo! I eNded up.....". In this case, it would deliver self regret for what said drunk messed up. Mainly, life. It wouldn't provide any consolation, but would occupy their minds with enough "what if's"  to have them pass out instead of dying of alcohol poisoning. Ol' grandpa would recall the days of his youth. When he was once able to play marbles as a boy, go to his first school dance, and so many of those "when I was your age" stories. This scenerio gives gramps the ability to enjoy what he has experienced throughout his many years of life. Never able to go back to those "good old days", but still content. Adults bicker about the how gas was cheaper back when compared to now. They wish things were like before when it comes to those prices. Nostalgia will incure utter glee, a wistful sigh, or even head-splitting incense.

I'm still pretty young. Almost 17 yrs. of age now and soon going into my Senior (final as well) year of HIgh School. Social life has been at its best and keeps rising up. Quite a bit of family together-ness going on. Entertainment has been remarkable. All these awesome flicks coming out, soon being able to rock out on a real plasic guitar (not including plastic drums n mic), and YouTube outranking television. Life couldn't get any better for a gentile...the only problem is that I am no longer a FULL gentile.

I am what is considered a 'saved gentile' (made it up myself). I was of this world for roughly 14 yrs. of my life. I partook in what mainstream pop culture told me to do. Some things I am thankful for while others...not so much. I accepted Christ which made me a New Born person that has had many of his influences drawn from the world. So now, I have drawn my influences from mainly the Bible, but the world views still Linger. What this has resulted in for me is a spiritual life focused on God.

So I have an entertainment life, a social life, and a family life that are at their highest ever which would be great for any american teenager. While those pillars are amongst the clouds.....they simply tower over my spiritual life. It doesn't take a genius to notice a problem in their own life. It thought it would heal itself, but apparently it didn't. My role in my student ministry has diminished so badly that I have become aghast to how far I have fallen. Where I am at leaves me shocked and appalled...my strengths have become rusty, my knowledge about the End Times and Californication has dropped (californicaton tier 5 wasn't even written when it was released. i wrote the damn thing a half a year ago for god's sake). I am not even willing to extend my hand another 3 in. to reach my Bible, so I continue to play video games for hours on end. Thusly, I no longer have a desire to read anything at all.....what once began as a plateau in my spiritual life quickly transformed into a random up-hill, down-hill spiral where I keep finding myself content one moment and then begging for forgiveness down the road. I dwell in the fact that I was learning new things from God everyday. Steadfast in my relationship with Christ. I kept climbing the mountain. Finding no sight of the peak and hoping it wouldn't come soon. Clouds of glory prevented me from seeing how much higher I could go. This motivated me to clamber the mountain without fear nor hesitation. Even the struggles of winter kept me strong in my faith. As I would climb, the harsh bitter winds would try to knock me down. I would lose my grip every now and then, but stop I did not. Reaching that plateau was nerve racking and arkward. Falling down...even worse...

If I were to find the cause of all this, I couldn't say. But I do recall the day where everything took root. I don't remember the date exactly (too lazy to find out), but it all started the day before Senior graduation for 3 of my friends. I was up late working on a project I decided to leave up untill the last minute. It was an interview project that was already a week late and had to be turned in on Friday or I get a 0/300 points. THAT would have been a major pitfall for me in the future so I type up the last 4 interviews up on my computer to print out. It was about 1 am when I finished so I thought to myself "print it out, then finally go to bed!" Well, it turns out after I print out one of the 4 pages...the damn printer jams up! It keeps swallowing in the paper so most of it gets shoved in on one side. So I try to fix the thing, but it only infuriates me to the point of constant cussing and swearing. I kept trying to swear at a lower volume so I wouldn't awake my parents upstairs (still amazed they hear me). I literally took 3 hrs trying to make the damn piece of crap to work! So by then it's already 4 am so I decide to write the rest up at school. The plan was to ride the bus to school and feverishly finish it up there before classes started. I go to bed agitated, but pray nonetheless. I end up waking up at 5 am after having one of the strangest, perplexing things happen to me. This just confuses me so I put it off as nothing and go back to bed. I wake up late, missing the bus by an hour. This puts the original plan into shambles. So I end up having to endure my mom yelling at me while she drops me off at school which is never fun. I arrive at school at 8 am and worry about what I'm gonna do. I end up explaining to my history teacher that I'll have it in by the end of the day (may God bless her understanding!). After the joy of having one more chance to finish this paper arises, I remember I still have to finish a photography project the same day.....imagine the distress. The photo project was simply to develop some pictures I took in a dark room and show them to the teacher. The only solution to these two dilemas was to finish the paper first and then the photo project. I end up skipping most of my lunch to write this blasted thing, only to leave the library for a quick bite to eat. I literally spent but a mere 3 min. in the cafeteria. 1 min. to buy an overly priced, tiny cheeseburger. 1 min. to eat it. 1 min. to throw the paper and say farwell to my friends. Worst. Lunch. Ever. I end up skipping french class (no big deal, got straight A's there) to write the rest of the paper which did get completed. Due to the time limit, I actually had to make up an interview off the top of my head. All that was left was to turn it in by day's end and go to the photography room. The photo teacher (may God bless him as well) let me into the photo room to work on it. Apparently I was doing something wrong because I kept getting an all black image. I was there for about 2 hrs. and in that time 1 girl came in to do her work, she left, another 2 came in later, they leave, then a nice girl (not THAT kind of 'nice' you perverts). Since I was the only guy in there with the first girl, she kept giving off a  you better not try anything kind of vibe, which made me feel awkward and offended. Same thing with the other 2 girls. So by this time, I'm agitated, offended, and impatient. On the verge of blowing up, the nice girl (may God bless her has well) came in and started some friendly chit chat. Nothing flirty or anything like that, just friendly. She ended up giving me some advice as to how fix what I'm doing. Helpful...yes, but I had to go to civics class for part of our final exam. I go there, end up writing about half a page, mess up in the worst way. I had to start over, stay 5min. after class to finish next to a air conditioner that was freezing my ass off!! I had to go BACK to the dark room to finish up, couldn't remember what the nice girl told me to fix, so I stay an additional full hour there cussing and swearing in every sentence I made. I was pissed off in the worst way...had ZERO idea what I was doing wrong...it was literally Hell in there (it was all red in there...). I remember I need to take my science final exam which was my worst subject!! Imagine what was running through my mind!! I write a full paper, take writing exam, have eaten next to nothing, need to finish a photo project, and now take a physics final exam...I was pissed beyond belief!!! As things continue to unravel, I ask my one friend to give me a ride home which was cool with him. What wasn't cool was getting in his car jammed with another 8 or 9 strangers I didn't even know! So I end up walking home instead and avoid another yelling when I give my mom a flower I took from some neighbors garden (ace).

Anyways, (please bare with me) I end up going late to my friends' graduation ceremony which was in a church. I end up sittin' alone when I didn't find whom I was supposed to sit with. The whole ceremony thing was the highlight of the piece of shit day. Things could have really changed for the better after the ceremony. Unfortunately, it didn't. Since I only got an hour or so of sleep, I was beginning to fade out. I managed to congratulate my graduated friends (wouldn't have missed that for the world), but couldn't find a way home. My mom was at least an hour away from home and dad was at work. So it's already after 9 o'clock and I have no way of getting home which was a full 2 miles away. Walking through the dark roads to only stand outside my home with no keys...makes perfect sense. My one friend, Kedren (newly graduated), offered if I would want to go to the graduate after-party or something like that. It's all the way in another town over 10 miles away. If I was to go, I was to go with my one other friend, but he wouldn't even answer his phone. So it's almost 10 pm (dammit) and I don't give any answer to Kedren and just begin walking up to a gas station a couple of blocks away. I call my mom to get me there so I end up waiting for half an hour. Kedren worries about me and calls (such a good, good, friend she is), but I reluctantly tell her about my horrible day. I left out a few parts, but she got the main story. While at the gas station talking with Kedron on the phone, mom drives up. As we go home, the call breaks up. By then I really don't give a shit anymore. I get home, get a call from Ken, who heard about my day (such a good friend). I end up babbling some random junk that even I didn't know what I meant to say. Embaressed, I say good bye and said I was gonna be fine. I was not fine after that. I swore more than I did in a year that day, angry that God didn't help me in the dark room (not at Him, but what He didn't do), wasn't even caring about important stuff...

So in a nutshell, this is what happened:

Worked on paper until 1 am, but printer jammed. Wasted 3 hours fixing it. Woke up at 5 am and had an awkward and confusing experience. Missed bus, got to school late, skipped most of lunch to work on paper, spent but a minute in lunch to eat a tiny burger, finished paper, went to photography dark room, was being seen as a pervert in the dark room by 3 girls when I did nothing wrong at all, photos were coming out bad, had to leave to do a writing exam, got super cold in there, went back to dark room, ended up swearing with no signs of stopping, had to take a physics final exam, walk home, late to friends' graduation, sleep got to me, couldn't find way home, walked a few blocks to a gas station, got concern from friends but felt like I just lashed out at them, unintentionally insulted one of my friends...

Forgive me if I seem to be going off on a rant or rammbling on, but I just had to share this. That horrible day gave way to over a month of me messing up my spiritual life. As I remember over a year ago, when I went on a missions trip to New York City, I was at the top of my game. I had a passion for God. I wanted to serve Him with all my heart's content. Then I looked at myself. It gave me an incense of rage. O' how I wish to be like that again! I want to be close to God like never before. My other areas of life have gotten better, but that doesn't make me happy in the long run. God does. I know I have lost some authority and even respect...knowing I have gone so far off from where I once was saddens me. Recently, I wasn't allowed to go on a missions trip to Lebanaon (not the country) due to money. It only made me feel worse. I simply love serving the church there! I love every little thing about it! Maybe that's God in me, but hearing the gospel spread in both English AND my native toungue, Spanish.........it just feel's like Warmness on the Soul. Even though I didn't go, I still wanted to be part of it. I was discouraged to say farwell to the ones going because of someone and that caused a heavy feeling of sorrow on my heart. I wanted to send them off with something. I wanted to give some last minute advice to those who already went and those who haven't. The only thing I could think of doing was to have my encouragement be sent through someone else. I texted a friend of mine who was on the trip to do just that and that brought satisfaction over my soul. If she told everyone or not...knowing I at least made an effort makes me happy. I fully notice where I am at. I am not at my best. I fully accept that. I am stripped of certain privileges and opportunities...but I accept that. I am where I am at because I fully deserve it. And Justice For All...I am not going to justify my reasons when I know I deserve worse. For what I have done recently and in the past. I know I am a worthless sinner that deserves the pits of Hell. . .but I also know God puts me through these trials for a reason. For the greater good that is He. God is Good. God is Just. He will never forsaken me...As the hart pants after the water brooks, so pants my soul after you, O' God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; when shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me. Where is thy God? When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday. Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou diquieted in me? hope thou in God for I shall yet praise Him fror the help of His countenance. O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar: Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy water-spouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me. Yet the Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night His song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life. I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy? As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God? Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me?  hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise Hime, who is the health of my countenance, and my God. -Psalm 42

All I have to do is look at you and I can see all the things I want to do to you.

Just once.  Anything for just once.

HIM - Wings of a Butterfly

Heaven ablaze in our eyes
We're standing still in time
The blood on our hands is the wine
We offer as sacrifice

[Chorus]
Come on, and show them your love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For your soul, my love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For your soul

This endless mercy mile
We're crawling side by side
With hell freezing over in our eyes
Gods kneel before our crime

[Chorus]
Come on lets show, them your love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For your soul, my love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For your soul
(Rip out the wings of a butterfly)
Don't let go
(Rip out the wings of a butterfly)
For your soul

[Chorus]
Come on, and show them your love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For your soul, my love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For your soul
(Rip out the wings of a butterfly)
Don't let go
(Rip out the wings of a butterfly) [x2]

For your soul

a pretty cool day i guess?!

let's go point form today first!

• i received the message i've been waiting all day for! (:
• finally nursing project is over and done with! a pretty good job done guys!
• i went super-marketing and got the addictive fishball crackers <3
• i bought the CHECK bag i thought was long ago sold. (but apparently it wasn't!) HAHA.

some other "not so good" stuff...

• i think i've got STM. i am forgetting important things lately. so sorry to my dear group-mates!
• my labtop still hasn't got msn. and i can't seem to download it. RAWRRRRR.
• i need sleep badly ):

AND MORE PLUS PLUS PLUS!!!

alright, erm, well... i had been waiting for this certain message to come in. for every beep i was just hoping it was that message! haha.

nursing project was done baby! ohmygod. so tiring can! but enjoyable! especially the Sing-Along part (: it was just so hyped up! "that's what it's all about, OH YEAH!!!!" okay so Mike G. says " Don't worry, No 'D's~ " what the fisharoo. seriously, getting a "C" is horrible, if he didn't know that. lols. telling us " No 'D's " doesn't make any difference actually! anyway, its over!

so today, i forgotten the most important thing. to bring the labtop for the FYP presentation!!! ._.""" so scary can! anyway, thank god the other group presenting brought theirs. so they saved my life. LOLS. i don't know why lately i'm like forgetting this and that. so ABNORMAL. urgh. but anyway, my house is near the school so i could have got it if really there wasn't any labtop available to use.

oh and just now i went to use my brother's labtop to sign in to msn. SO FUN! its been LONGGGG since i last log onto msn! damn this labtop, seriously!

Weather Is Mighty Fine, Isn't It!

*IVP TENNIS.

so! yesterday concluded that NYP TENNIS GUYS are the champions! WOOHOO! damn cool. and yes, they were GREAT (: so sadly, girl's team just didn't make that cut. OH WELL. nevermind.

so back to yesterday. the last match was hayley's so everyone was gathered them. and then coach came to ask me what's the score. he asked " So how's your match ? 9-0 ? " ._.

seriously, that made me super depressed. how can like that say! ohgosh. see! he's so bad to me (AS ALWAYS). hey! at least i managed to get 2 games and got a few sudden deaths! okay i'm not proud of that but at least i tried what i could! sigh. nevermind, i know can already (:

alright i know some really funny stuff happened but i can't recall! i think my brain is getting cranky now [x_x] i'll mention it IF i remember. HAHA.

A carousel of clever women, naked bodies flashing like lights.

Through clenched teeth he tells me something
like I am the only person alive to hear it
like his sharp breath filling my nostrils
will break down my walls.

Eternity begins once insanity is released
or so the tale goes.

He presses his nails into my skin
shimmering half moons reflect and swell.
This is not a dark story, no
not in the least.

I would like my history books back.
I like to see how men look during times of desperation
how their knees bend differently.
I like to see how men look during times of good
how drunk they are.
The glorified obituary that I am to learn a lesson from.

It starts to feel better when he looks me in the eye.
Sizing me up cautiously
wondering what it is I have to offer.
Why he feels like he just might drown once the ride stops.
Why it is that there are gifts on the ground
strategically placed in a ring around the perimeter.

I am trying to get him to stay
The two faced demon
he is never satisfied.

Title inspired by Buddy Giovinazzo

The problem with our situation is that Dan, like many free spirits, doesn't have a set income.  He bartends, he waits tables, he bums around ... some months, when the economy's blazing and he's on his manager's good side and getting the primo shifts, Dan's making $3000-$4000 a month.  Other times (which happen more and more often) he'll only come home with $1000 for the month.  Why the big discreptancy?  In most service-industry jobs, costs are kept low by cutting labor.  If it's a slow, rainy day and the customers are staying home, they'll keep one person on staff and send everyone else home.  This also means that when Dan is pulling in bank, he's work 40-50 hours a week.  When he's not, he's working 20 hours a week.  It happens really frequently that I'll send him off to work, only to have him arrive back three hours later having been sent home.

As you can imagine, this makes it really, really difficult to budget.  I am TERRIFIED that we will not be able to pay the mortgage; maybe not today, maybe not next month, but sometime.  I know that I over-analyze and worry too much - in reality, we did not stretch ourselves too much to buy this house.  We have a $10,000 security blanket tucked away at the bank in case the worst happens.  I actually make enough alone to cover all of our living expenses (mortgage, utilities, food, cars, insurance) but nothing more, so any money that Dan makes is more like "extra" cash (to be saved, not spent!).  But it just never feels like "enough" - maybe I just watch the news too much and have developed a nay-sayer attitude.

In fact, I've just recently applied for a job that pays significantly more than my current one (but competition is tight - I just found out that half of my department applied for the same position).  It kind of bums me out because I really do LOVE my job.  It's interesting, I like most of the people, I'm never bored, and I feel like I do a really good job at it.  However, it is a govenment job so the pay is poor, as well as a union job, so raises are set at a set amount and done yearly regardless of performance.  That's a little hard for me because I'm used to asking for raises and getting them (not to brag, but I do usually excel at any job I have).  It does get frustrating to know that I do twice as much work as Coworker A, but we get the paid the same and ALWAYS will.  She can't get demoted, I can't get promoted ... it's all very standard.

But, to look on the bright side, applying for jobs that pay more is a smart financial move for our future.  If I did get the job, it would be a 20% raise over what I make now - you really can't beat that.  It also would involve learning some new skills (such as getting trained as a first responder) that would make me more valuable in the future, should I ever decide to leave.  And I've been careful not to burn any bridges in case I should ever feel like I wanted to come back to my current department (unlike some people - overconfident that they'll get the job, I guess).

The interview is in a week and a half.  Keep your fingers crossed, okay?

It was therefore not a complete shock when, after we announced our intention to switch to natural cleaning products, that she showed up with two cardboard boxes full of chemical supplies.  Oh, Mrs D! But her heart's in the right place.  So now we're stuck deciding whether to keep them (it's easily $150 of cleaning goodies) or give them away, but they're already produced and already purchased, so someone, somewhere will eventually end up actually using them (or worse, dumping them down the drain or onto the earth) ... maybe you can sense that we've already decided: we're keeping them.

Maybe next year we can switch to green cleaning - it'll take atleast a year to go through all this stuff.