As a coach I never had my authority taken away, so I consider myself lucky. My autonomy was always maintained.

However, in Aberdeen a cheerleading coach resigned her position because she felt her authority was undermined by a hearing officer. A student broke a team rule, which was in the contract signed by all of the students and known by all of the parents. The girl appealed for reinstatement because her infraction occurred at the end of the previous school year, even though the penalty apparently was supposed to carry over into the new year according to the signed contract.

Some may think that an infraction from a previous year (let's say in June, for argument's sake) should not affect a student in the current school year. However, one unique part of a cheer squad is that try-outs often occur in April or May, so the cheerleaders may prepare for summer camps. Plus, their seasons begin before school starts since football games begin immediately, sometimes before classes even begin. Thus, a penalty carrying over is not surprising. I remember people were often shocked to hear that my wife's cheer squad practiced 11 months out of the year, partially because of stunting but also because they had to prepare for three sports seasons.

Regardless, I find it sad that a student breaks a rule after signing a contract and the parents help the student appeal the consequence. Often I hear we live in a society where consequences are rarely accepted, and this case seems to prove the rule.

As a classroom teacher I see the same thing occur as well. A student breaks a rule or violates a policy, and the parents often do not want their child to suffer the consequence. Without accountability, rules and policies are meaningless.

Still, I feel bad for the other girls on the cheer squad in Aberdeen. They now have no coach. The girl who appealed her case quit the team once all was said and done. And July is a tough time to try and hire a qualified coach.

I also applaud the coach for sticking to her guns. While I never really like to see someone quit before a commitment is completed, I don't know that I could work in a position where my authority could be undermined so easily. Maybe the contract itself needs some revisions, but the kids and parents agreed to it, and the school administrators approved it. Too bad a coach had to resign before people could see what a loss of authority can do to an individual and a team.

these teens ransacked the house and stole cash and whatever else they could get away with. having done that they bragged about it to friends. are they serious? did they not think that they would get caught? did they think that this would be held confidential or did they really care? i guess this was intentionally done so that others would hear of their "exploits".

as i have written in previous post about this topic "what were they thinking?" i won't take much time with that again only to say, "what were they thinking?" (lol)

obviously they weren't or were they. maybe they thought they could get away with it. maybe they thought that their friends would not say anything to anyone. maybe they thought that the victim would not say anything. who knows what they were thinking.

i raise the question again here as i did in a previous blog , "who is to be blamed?" "who should be held responsible?" what should be the fate of these teens?

this incident supports the notion that most teens do not think before they act. they ignore possible consequences. they do not see how their actions could produce painful and possible long term consequences. for the most part they are very short sighted; they act on the pleasure principle which blinds them to the impact of their actions on others.

all of these actions underscores the findings that teens in general do not have the capacity to connect actions and consequences. hence the need for discipline, guidance, tough love, faith, much prayer, and for constant parental oversight. the question that someone will ask is what happens when there are no parents present and the teen is basically left to his / her own. i would say these are the exceptions which calls for some form of outside help.

not an easy discussion. i'm open to suggestions / ideas.

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Those quarrelsome Native Americans are at it again. Not satisfied with merely being granted permission to live in the Land of Free (not to mention the Home of the Brave!), the headdress-wearing ingrates are now trying to encroach upon liberties that they simply have no business encroaching upon.

A small rural school district in Fort Bend County and a determined mother are tangled in a dispute over hair.

Michelle Betenbaugh says her 5-year-old son, Adriel Arocha, wears his hair long because of religious beliefs tied to his Native American heritage.

But the leaders of the Needville school district have strict rules about long hair on boys and don't see any reason to make an exception in his case.

Seems pretty cut and dry to me. The kid is going to public school, that public school has rules, and shock of shocks, he's expected to obey them, even if he or his parents don't agree with them.

Newsflash to Ms. Betenbaugh: the Needville board of education doesn't just work for you, it works for the collective interest of the community's parents. Take it from somebody who has spent countless (read, about five) evenings at school board meetings, for every liberal out there that tries to use faith as a crutch to justify their child's hair style, there's a conservative who knows better than to let their little boy be in proximity to a tiny queer in training. And, as many studies have shown, nothing turns a straight boy into a little flaming homosexual quicker than limiting the impressionable child's exposure to hairdressers.

Now, I don't have a child of my own (If you're reading this, stop calling me. You know who you are.), but if I did, I'd make sure to take him (the man decides the gender, and you bet I'm picking boy -- plus a girl doesn't make any sense for this purely hypothetical situation) to the priciest, ritziest, most overtly unhetero salon I could find. Oh, he'd try to resist, but as I am a brute of a human being, I would easily overpower and subdue the small child, to the point where if I had to carry him into the establishment I would.

"I'm doing this for your own good," I'd explain to him while violently throwing him into the barber's chair. "You'll thank me on your wedding day." Then I'd tell the scissors-wielding fairy to stop fucking around, get the razor out, and go #1 all over junior's head.

Realizing the thought process of the average sodomite, I'd explain that my request had nothing to do with urine.

Once I was assured that my drift had been caught, I'd sit back and watch as a grown "man" who identifies himself as Fifi shears all but approximately a quarter inch of hair from my son's dome. It'd bring back such fond memories of when I was his age and I'd spend ten bucks a week at John Christopher's to be made as close to bald as was permissible at Catholic school. (Sadly, this era came to an end after I sustained a concussion during a pickup football game and was advised not to shave my head for some time. I don't remember who told me this -- I had a concussion -- but I can confirm to you that there's a certain point in his life where a man can grow his hair long and not worry about catching the gay. [I'm afraid I can't reveal the exact benchmark at this time -- you're not getting the satisfaction.]

When the haircut was finished, I'd have my son look into the mirror and examine the new skinhead look he'd been given. If he was anything like his old man, he'd wonder to himself, "Why did my dad do this to me?" And I'd just point to that mirror and say, "Son, that's what a man looks like." And then I'd point to Fifi, with his fake tan, and, oh yes, long hair (longer than mine) with goddamn flowers in it -- how do you even live with yourself, man? -- and say, "And that's what you look like when you're a fag."

See, if it was up to me, that's something that they'd teach in the public schools. I'd wager that that's somewhere where Ms. Betenbaugh and I would differ.

But really, isn't that what makes America great? Freedom of expression. She's allowed to make her point in the press, I'm allowed to respond on this nifty blog, and then the board of education makes the final decision and we both must respect and honor their decision. Isn't that how our forefathers drew it up, though? I wouldn't be surprised if it said in the constitution that men were to maintain short hair at all times. Back in George Washington's day, for instance, it would've made it a heck of a lot easier to don those ferociously manly wigs.

I hate to single Ms. Betenbaugh out here, but her outrage kind of triggered some thoughts that I've been sitting on for a while. When did this country become so selfish and disrespectful towards authority? If a powerful figure tells you to do something, why ask questions? Would this figure be in power if he or she -- again, more likely he -- was ill-equipped for that role? In a democracy, no less? Look, I've had a run in or two with Johnny Law, like the time I got pulled over for going eight miles per hour under the speed limit in a construction zone -- I guess I was driving too slow, but everything was cool after the dogs left -- but never have I felt the need to ask questions. These people know what they're doing.

What the typical American is doing, I've found, is taking unfair advantage of the constitution. "Freedom of speech" doesn't mean bash the president, it means bash the Queen of England -- that withered old hag, the leader of some powerless antiquated faux leadership group that's like the Hiltons beaten with an ugly stick and then run over with an age steamroller. "Freedom of religion" means worship whatever deity you choose, so long as your beliefs aren't in violation with federal, state or local regulations. Let's use another hypothetical here, and it's purely hypothetical -- I'm actually an ordained Christian minister (just like Reverend Camden from 7th Heaven -- don't read too much into that analogy) -- wherein I establish a religion, let's call it Murderism. And as a Murderist, it is my belief that I must kill people to please a higher being, who we'll refer to as Shooter McKill. Now, just because this is my belief system, should I be able to arbitrarily walk around and kill people to satiate my messiah's bloodlust? I'd say no.

But don't tell that to your faith liberals like Ms. Betenbaugh (again, I'm sorry to single her out). She seems to think that just because her son's spirituality is different from that of other students that he should be exempt from the regulations set forth by the school board. That's not freedom of speech or freedom of religion, that's just bullshit.

Look, our forefathers were gracious enough to turn over some of the land they discovered to the Native Americans and let them just sort of hang out while we turned the East Indies into America. And to their credit, the Indians have played the hand they were dealt to this point with significant aplomb. But now they're starting to get a little big for their britches. Today they're asking for their own hair styles, what will tomorrow bring? Exclusive fashions? Special housing? Private tracts of land?

No, we mustn't give in. Even if they threaten to use force -- didn't these people popularize scalping? -- we cannot allow these Natives to let their children grow their hair out. We have come too far and made too many strides to begin making concessions now.

This, Native Americans, is America, where there are two simple choices: love it or leave it. So either have your kids man up, get their heads shaved and then ship them off to school so they can learn how to behave as individuals in a controlled classroom environment, or kindly give us back the land that we so graciously handed to you so many years ago.

I'm bigger on discipline (raising my voice, taking toys away, etc.) than is my wife, but I've never been keen on using physical force. I've never ruled it out (see Miz Pink's post "Beat Down" because I agree with her 95% on that post) but I don't like it, and there are other people in the blogosphere who have spoken eloquently on the pitfalls and uses of corporal punishment (Blackgirlinmaine recently in her Spare the Rod... post, a more light-hearted one at this blog, and a more academic take here.)

Last night, I smacked my little girl across the thigh. Didn't leave a mark, but it still left her crying for a long while.

Now, I know that many readers will roll their eyes and say "Big frickin' whoop!" You didn't smack her multiple times, you didn't hit her across the face, you didn't use a hanger or something, so what are you whining about? And I know objectively that I didn't do it out of anger so much as surprise, because my hand flew a split second after my little girl unexpectedly chomped down on my left nipple.

But the fact is, my hand flew.

And it didn't need to.

I should be able to take the pain of a bite from a three-year-old. I should be able to control my hand. I don't hit my wife. Never have, never will (unless she gets homicidally psycho on my ass, which is highly unlikely). I don't get into fights now and I never have in the past.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not some hippie milquetoast here. Call my wife, daughter or son a certain epithet that rhymes with "chigger" and I'll put your face into the pavement. Sexually assault my daughter, at any age, and there will be a body buried in the woods shortly thereafter. Try to attack me physically, and I will work on the assumption that you mean to kill me and respond with appropriate force. I have a very forgiving temperament and a very, very slow and long fuse. But push me too far and you could really regret it.

But what exactly did smacking my daughter accomplish that couldn't have been accomplished just as well by yelling or throwing out one of her DVDs? What galls me is that my mom only had to spank me twice during my whole childhood. I don't like the thought that my hand might fly faster than my reason or common sense can stop it.

I don't fear that I'll become an abusive parent; that would just be silly logic. That's not the kind of person I am.

But I don't like that a girl who doesn't have a chance against me bit me, and probably had no clue how much that would hurt me, and I hit her. Doesn't matter where and it doesn't matter how minor the hit; I hit her and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry, honeybunch, I really am. And I apologize to Mrs. Blue as well, even though she's already long over it (and so is the little girl).

Now I just have to get around to forgiving myself.

Bonus Feature

I started work on the second chapter of my blog novel Cleansed by Fire, and I had only intended to get a start on it and then finish it by next week for my usual weekly posting, but I couldn't stop writing, and now I have a finished part 6 already ready to post. In fact, I did post it, right before this post. I know the last installment was just a couple days ago, but I couldn't help myself. So, if you're following my first foray into novel-length fiction or would like to start, scroll down my main page or, if you came to this post directly from somewhere else, click here for part six of my novel.

What is Command Climate?  I don't think it's really definable, but suffice to say that it's the force that a commander exudes that causes his charges to make a particular decision without specific guidance.  For a platoon commander, this force impacts the Marine's efforts at basic things like equipment maintenance, physical training, making safe decisions when off duty, etc.  These aren't usually life-or-death decisions, but when added together, they have a great effect on discipline, morale, health, and effectiveness of a unit.  Command Climate is the thing that guides a Marine when he has to make a decision, and the pluses and minuses of that decision cancel each other out, leading the Marine to think, "Damn it, Cpl X, or Sgt Y, or MSgt Z, or Lt. SE would want me to do this, so I'm going to do it."  Simply put, Command Climate is a sort of peer pressure that's exerted on a unit by the Commander.

Command Climate can be positive or negative.  While it is a truism that the bottom 25% of any group will take up 75% of a leader's time, it also seems to be true that 75% of the problems in a group of units seem to come from only 25% of those units.  Strong leaders create Command Climates that solve and mitigate problems.  Poor leaders create Command Climates that create and worsen problems.  And so it appears to be so with the US Air Force. 

Today, the Washington Post reported:

"The Air Force's top leadership sought for three years to spend counterterrorism funds on "comfort capsules" to be installed on military planes that ferry senior officers and civilian leaders around the world, with at least four top generals involved in design details such as the color of the capsules' carpet and leather chairs, according to internal e-mails and budget documents."

It goes on to say:

"Air Force documents spell out how each of the capsules is to be "aesthetically pleasing and furnished to reflect the rank of the senior leaders using the capsule," with beds, a couch, a table, a 37-inch flat-screen monitor with stereo speakers, and a full-length mirror."

Now, I understand the increased responsibilities that officers, and especially senior officers require.  Officers on Navy ships are afforded staterooms, while low-ranking enlisted sleep in berthing, and more senior enlisted Sailors and Marines rate more spacious berthing areas.  This is done largely to give the officers and senior enlisted space to do administrative work, while sequestering by rank to improve discipline while spending months at sea.  However, in combat, much of this often goes out the window.  When fighting in Afghanistan in 2004, I slept in a 2-man tent for 101 days.  The Colonel commanding my unit (now a Brigadier General) slept in the same type of accomodations, and discipline was not affected.  In fact, one could argue that discipline was enhanced because a full-bird Colonel of Marines was sleeping in the same dirt as a Lance Corporal.  Such is life in a combat zone.

I do find it galling, however, that such generals desire such creature comforts while flying as a passenger in a military cargo aircraft.

The Washington Post also reports that the Air Force is using Counterterrorism funds for the purposes of enriching its own bureaucratic overlords--it's general officers.  If this is not illegal, it is certainly unethical. 

Add in F-22 problems, more F-22 problems, F-35 problems, a B-2 crash, CSAR-X issues, nuclear weapons issues, more nuclear weapons issues, Taiwanese nosecones, tanker corruption, an Air Force Secretary and Chief of Staff canned (here too), friction between the USAF and SecDef, unwillingness by the AF to join the fight overseas, and a willingness to backstab the other services.  Add these up, and countless other minor and major service issues, and you have a Command Climate that is deep crisis.

It seems to me that the Command Climate of the Air Force consists of two principles:

1. If you're a high-ranking officer, you are entitled.
2. If you're responsible for something, don't worry.  You can just pass the buck.

So what is to be done?  I don't think Shlok's solution is adequate.  Firing the generals just terminates some careers, and there are plenty of AirPower Kool-Aid drinkers to fill their shoes, regardless of the circumstances of the firings.  The SecDef needs to fire the generals, and then make it clear to the remaining generals why they were fired.  Secretary Gates needs to command those USAF generals to act like generals, and if necessary, tell them what is expected of generals.

And if that fails, it might be time to start using the Eisenhower solution:  If you're not satisfied with your generals, it might be time to start looking at which colonels you can trust.

I enjoy, just as much as the next person, reading the latest celeb magazines while I’m in line at the grocery.  If there’s an article about Tiger, I’ll read about his wife and his yacht and, of course, his relationship with his father, but I’ve never been interested enough to take the time to see what are golf’s and Tiger Woods’s hold on so many people. 

However, a column by New York Times writer David Brooks(http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/17/opinion/17brooks.html?_r=1&oref=slogin)  gives me a new perspective on Tiger Woods and also on Brooks himself.

According to Brooks, writers, in particular, “get rhapsodic” over Woods’s ability to focus, partly because “Woods seems able to mute the chatter that normal people have in their heads.” 

Brooks contends that in our over-extended, overwhelmed lives, Woods is “the exemplar of mental discipline,” “stone-faced,” “locked-in, focused and self-contained,” “self-controlled.”

Woods “achieves perfect clarity, tranquility and flow.”  There!  Now I'm on board! "Flow" I understand.  In flow, he is using his top strengths and talents, but he is also being challenged.  He can be at one with his game when he is in flow, unaware and uninterested in the world about him.

Brooks, who is no slouch and obviously has been in flow many times himself, confesses that his own focus as a writer is far from perfect. 

He describes his restlessness and inability to stay focused, in contrast to that of Woods' intense focus, saying “As I’ve been trying to write this column, I’ve toggled over to check my e-mail a few times.  I’ve looked out the window. I’ve jotted down random thoughts for the paragraphs ahead.” 

Brooks also suggests that his readiness to yield to distractions are fairly normal.  For sure--I prefer to check email rather than steel myself to surrendering to the writing, but I wonder what would it be like, if, like Woods seemingly has, I could silence those gremlins in my head for good and never be distracted by them. 

What would it be like to step into a writing challenge and yet be perfectly calm?  To breath regularly and to hear nothing--no negative chatter rising to the deafening level of a rock-concert?   I’ve had those moments of calm focus.  I've been in flow when at I'm at one with my writing, and I want more of that. 

What would it take to have more of the steeliness that Woods has?

What do you think?  Does Woods give us a model for mental toughness, the kind of mental toughness it takes to finish a dissertation?

I’d love to hear from you.

Here’s to flow and mental toughness,

Nancy
Your Dissertation and Academic Career Coach
nancy@nancywhichard.com
www.nancywhichard.com

Your dreams are your visions of where you'll be after the battle,
your prize at the end of your journey to success.
Your goals are the steps you take to finally attain your prize.

Unless you're willing to work hard and establish some discipline in your life,
all of your dreams will be pipe dreams,
little mental fantasy trips that will never materialize.

Make concrete steps toward fulfilling your ultimate dream,
and start with solid objectives called goals,
Your dreams are where you want to go,
your goals are how you get there.

The first indispensable step
to getting the things you want out of life is this:
decide what you want.

Don't be afraid to think big and dare to be great.
Dreamers are not content with mediocrity.
They never dream of going half way.

People with goals succeed because they know where they're goin.

Copyright 2008 www.yourdailymotivation.com

Ugmo writes:

Whip his ass each time you see him swinging on the door!
You have told him to stop it and he won’t. Spare the rod and you’ll spoil the child. Read Proverbs chapter 22 verse 15. Also chapter 23 verse 13.

Ugmo,

You have a valid point and thank you for your advice.

I wish parenting were as simple with my younger children as it was with my older children. Spanking can be an incredibly effective tool, when used properly. When abused, unfortunately, it looses its effectiveness and creates additional behavior issues.

I fully agree with GODs word and what he says about physical discipline. Unfortunately my son’s father neglected the part about not provoking your children to anger. As a result the rod is seen as a tool of abuse rather than loving discipline.

Physical discipline was effective with my older children (ages 18 and 20). It was also effective with my younger children until my soon-to-be-ex-husband, who has bipolar disorder continued to misuse that GOD-given technique. Too often he left bruises on the children. He seems unable to know the difference between discipline and abuse. Spanking lost its effectiveness and created anger and rebellion instead.

Also, he should never physically discipline the children and unfortunately I must lead by example. If I strike the children then he feels entitled to spank/abuse the children because that is the way his brain works.

I hope that someday he will learn that people do not learn from domineering or abusive treatment. All discipline must be done with love as the motivating factor, rather than ego or annoyance. I hope my children will continue to heal from the abuse inflicted on them.

I use time-out, which is not nearly as effective as properly used spanking. I also use extra chores and various other unpleasant or natural consequences as discipline.

Report: IT Admin Locks up San Francisco's Network (PC World)

A network administrator has locked up a multimillion dollar computer system for San Francisco that handles sensitive data and is refusing to give police the password, the San Francisco Chronicle reported Monday.

The employee, 43-year-old Terry Childs, was arrested Sunday. He gave some passwords to police, which did not work, and refused to reveal the real code, the paper reported.

The new FiberWAN (Wide Area Network) handles city payroll files, jail bookings, law enforcement documents and official e-mail for San Francisco. The network is functioning but administrators have little or no access.

Childs, who remains in custody, is accused of improperly tampering with computer systems and causing a denial of service, said Kamala Harris, San Francisco's district attorney, on Monday afternoon.

"The bail has been set at $5 million, and the exposure in this case if he were convicted on all counts would be seven years in prison," Harris said.

Harris said it's unknown why Childs tampered with the system. The Chronicle, however, reported that Childs was disciplined recently for poor performance. Childs worked in the Department of Technology for San Francisco, making close to US$150,000 a year, the paper reported.

City officials told the paper that Childs may have caused millions in damage while also rigging the network so that other third parties could monitor traffic, posing a huge data security risk. He is also alleged to have installed a tracing system to monitor communications related to his personnel case.

(Robert McMillan in San Francisco contributed to this report.)

First of all, it’s amazing in this day and age of technology that an employee could lock down access to a computer system and there is no way for others to get in. Obviously it is possible, as evidenced by this article but what is particularly troubling is they stated that he may have done this due to being disciplined for poor performance. I think it highlights the fact that HR people and departments are shouldering a bigger burden than in the past when employees have such power that can so easily be abused, thus costing a company (or in this case a city and its taxpayers) huge sums of money and lost productivity.

Hopefully it will serve as a reminder, or a wake-up call that if an employee is going to be disciplined, all precautions need to be taken not only to ensure the safety of people but the integrity and accessibility of data. I assume it is just another part of the appraisal and/or reprimanding process that employers are going to have to take into consideration.

Solving a piece of the puzzle… 
Matt Lafata, HRchitect

 But, we are also doing quite well in regards to preparing for a good night out to eat thanks to our kids' misbehavior :-) .  Last night we counted the jar.  I think we are up to $13 or something. 

 The only problem is that each infraction is $.25.  And in the jar we found a nickel and a dime.  So, one of our kids either 1) doesn't know what a quarter looks like...which we highly doubt; or 2) we have a kid who is so ingenious they have found the loophole in our system...mom and dad aren't checking what coin drops in the jar!

THE INVESTIGATION IS ON!!

A network marketer recently emailed my office to seek some MLM training advice for a problem he was having: He could get appointments set...but prospects seemed to disappear after that. Here's the question:

"I can get appointments to meet with people. My call rate is very good with people I know or have met. But I can't seem to get a follow through meeting, to go further. "I'm told that, 'you can't say the wrong thing to the right person or you can't say the right thing to the wrong person.' I'm supposed to find the person 'who is looking' because if they are looking you 'couldn't beat them out of getting into network marketing with a stick.'" -Warren

Great question Warren.

I do agree with the quote-with a few additions and perhaps some alterations. Sometimes the prospect might "be ready" but isn't looking or isn't looking for an MLM business.

Picture a person driving to his job and is pondering that he wishes he could own his own business. Is he looking? No. He's thinking. If you know this person, and you've had the proper MLM training, then you know how to do an effective invite (using the Inviting Formula) and will be able to take this person from "thinking" to looking. Rarely have I seen someone who was out looking for an MLM company. It does happen but not commonly.

Most often your quote is a comment made by speakers from a stage who don't know how to train the A network marketer recently emailed my office to seek some MLM training advice for a problem he was having: He could get appointments set...but prospects seemed to disappear after that. Here's the question:

"I can get appointments to meet with people. My call rate is very good with people I know or have met. But I can't seem to get a follow through meeting, to go further. "I'm told that, 'you can't say the wrong thing to the right person or you can't say the right thing to the wrong person.' I'm supposed to find the person 'who is looking' because if they are looking you 'couldn't beat them out of getting into network marketing with a stick.'" -Warren

Great question Warren.

I do agree with the quote-with a few additions and perhaps some alterations. Sometimes the prospect might "be ready" but isn't looking or isn't looking for an MLM business.

Picture a person driving to his job and is pondering that he wishes he could own his own business. Is he looking? No. He's thinking. If you know this person, and you've had the proper MLM training, then you know how to do an effective invite (using the Inviting Formula) and will be able to take this person from "thinking" to looking. Rarely have I seen someone who was out looking for an MLM company. It does happen but not commonly.

Most often your quote is a comment made by speakers from a stage who don't know how to train the specifics of inviting so the quote is a variation to "just do the numbers."

It's very easy to say, "Just do the numbers." It's harder to say, "Let me show you how to do an effective invite call." And, it's even harder to say, "I'll teach YOU how to do an effective invite call."

So instead sometimes a leader's MLM training comes down instructing you to just say, "Do the numbers" and find people who are looking. The other thing is, you need to be the best inviter you can be when you do talk to that person who is looking. So no matter what you do, you're going to have to learn good inviting skills. And by the way, follow through is part of the inviting skills!

As for your follow thru question, I'm assuming that you're using the words FOLLOW THROUGH as I discussed in the MLM training series "Professional Inviter" - which is different than FOLLOW UP.

Follow through is once your prospect has indicated an interest to do the business that you follow through and deliver EVERY THING the prospect requires to get him what he's stated he needs/wants and/or doesn't want-this you would have gotten by using the Inviting Formula.

Normally this is way more than what is in your standard-issue training manual. If you hand the training manual to the new person and the first thing they read is, "make a list of 200 people" and your new person doesn't do it, have you delivered everything the prospect requires? No.

Something is still in their way. Inability to communicate may be in their way; it may be they need a better understanding of what they will be doing; it may be they don't see themselves being a sales person or it may be that they need to fly to the company so they have certainty that it's a real business!

If you've listened to Professional Inviter you've heard my live calls and heard me on the phone with Ruth and Nadira. The moment they indicated that they were interested in the business I moved towards an appointment. If I can't meet with someone locally, I just continue the conversation over the phone. Now both Ruth and Nadira had things that were still in the way of doing the business that I had to help them overcome-and both of them were "looking."

My point is, the key to FOLLOW THROUGH is NOT saying "Next" as soon as someone is stuck on something! Help them through whatever they're stuck on. Now I know many people will say that I have the Mother Theresa complex. Well, I don't mind being compared to her because she was a very noble person and helped a lot of people. But remember, my sponsor would not have sponsored me had he not followed up and followed through with me to help me overcome my barriers.

When do I "quit" following through? When they stop taking my calls or they ask me to stop calling.

The speed at which you identify what the person is stuck on is critical. When you first sponsor someone or you have someone who has indicated they're interested-do not let a single day go by that you're not talking to them. Keep them close so you can get them past sticking points.

Also as soon as they start moving, gently (meaning very slowly) ease off so they don't grow dependent on you. This is a topic I'll leave for a later time, but I wanted you to see that some people make the mistake of connecting themselves to their people and never pass them the power to do it themselves ... so they never do.

If I could leave you with one key MLM training point as it relates to Follow Up and Follow Through, it would be this: You must have a sincere desire to make your prospect's life better. When your aim and intention is focused on this, your follow up actions will be focused on the right things, and your prospect will respond to your helpfulness and sincere desire to help.
specifics of inviting so the quote is a variation to "just do the numbers."

It's very easy to say, "Just do the numbers." It's harder to say, "Let me show you how to do an effective invite call." And, it's even harder to say, "I'll teach YOU how to do an effective invite call."

So instead sometimes a leader's MLM training comes down instructing you to just say, "Do the numbers" and find people who are looking. The other thing is, you need to be the best inviter you can be when you do talk to that person who is looking. So no matter what you do, you're going to have to learn good inviting skills. And by the way, follow through is part of the inviting skills!

As for your follow thru question, I'm assuming that you're using the words FOLLOW THROUGH as I discussed in the MLM training series "Professional Inviter" - which is different than FOLLOW UP.

Follow through is once your prospect has indicated an interest to do the business that you follow through and deliver EVERY THING the prospect requires to get him what he's stated he needs/wants and/or doesn't want-this you would have gotten by using the Inviting Formula.

Normally this is way more than what is in your standard-issue training manual. If you hand the training manual to the new person and the first thing they read is, "make a list of 200 people" and your new person doesn't do it, have you delivered everything the prospect requires? No.

Something is still in their way. Inability to communicate may be in their way; it may be they need a better understanding of what they will be doing; it may be they don't see themselves being a sales person or it may be that they need to fly to the company so they have certainty that it's a real business!

If you've listened to Professional Inviter you've heard my live calls and heard me on the phone with Ruth and Nadira. The moment they indicated that they were interested in the business I moved towards an appointment. If I can't meet with someone locally, I just continue the conversation over the phone. Now both Ruth and Nadira had things that were still in the way of doing the business that I had to help them overcome-and both of them were "looking."

My point is, the key to FOLLOW THROUGH is NOT saying "Next" as soon as someone is stuck on something! Help them through whatever they're stuck on. Now I know many people will say that I have the Mother Theresa complex. Well, I don't mind being compared to her because she was a very noble person and helped a lot of people. But remember, my sponsor would not have sponsored me had he not followed up and followed through with me to help me overcome my barriers.

When do I "quit" following through? When they stop taking my calls or they ask me to stop calling.

The speed at which you identify what the person is stuck on is critical. When you first sponsor someone or you have someone who has indicated they're interested-do not let a single day go by that you're not talking to them. Keep them close so you can get them past sticking points.

Also as soon as they start moving, gently (meaning very slowly) ease off so they don't grow dependent on you. This is a topic I'll leave for a later time, but I wanted you to see that some people make the mistake of connecting themselves to their people and never pass them the power to do it themselves ... so they never do.

If I could leave you with one key MLM training point as it relates to Follow Up and Follow Through, it would be this: You must have a sincere desire to make your prospect's life better. When your aim and intention is focused on this, your follow up actions will be focused on the right things, and your prospect will respond to your helpfulness and sincere desire to help.

Tim Sales helps network marketers gain the skills necessary to be successful in MLM. His MLM training is based on his personal success of building a downline of 56,000 people. Instantly access Tim's free MLM training and learn the steps to achieve success at http://www.brilliantexchange.com/mlmtraining

Indeed, we have tremendous power to achieve through intense focus.  The difficulty surfaces when we see, however, the limitations of focus.  The tool is only as useful as the choices we make.  We may chose, for example, to focus on increasing business profits through hard work.  And while we may achieve our goal to some extent, we suddenly realize that by focusing intently on working harder, we have been blind to new methods that provide shortcuts to the same success.  Focus, in other words, can obstruct clear view of opportunity.

Maybe you focus hard on losing weight, and indeed the pounds drop away.  But in the process, you turn a deaf ear to your soul's lonely outcry and ignore the oppression you feel from dieting.  You end up thinner, but now there's a new problem: chronic depression.

So focus is a handy tool, but it can be deceptive.  It can trick you into thinking you're in charge and invincible.  Which is a great feeling for the short term, but simply untrue in reality. 

Focus is like the drugstore magnifiers we aging boomers all use to boost our fading eyesight.  It's a wonderful tool that lets us pretend we can see with accustomed clarity.  We do well not to forget, however, that the larger truth is that we're slowly going blind, no matter how powerful the tool makes us right this instant.

In the end, practising focus and learning to use it intensely and well is a seriously helpful way to achieve your goals.  And then, letting your focus go, dropping it completely in order to open to new information supercedes your focus.  Focus, like the rules of a game, is best practised and then forgotten.

Anyways back to the beginning, what is Internal Discipline? because i dont know!

A great commentary from our friends over at Reason describes the story of a female student who was strip searched by her male, middle school vice-principal for what amounted to two tablets of ibuprofen. In good news, the 9th Circuit Court ruled that the search violated the student's 4th amendment rights. However, three judges decented, one stating that "this is a difficult case."

This absurdity brings back fond memories of my middle school experiences. Towards the end of my seventh grade year (2002), caffeinated Penguin brand mints became popular and were banned. The principal announced to us all that if any student was caught in possession of the breath mints "it would be considered the same as possessing marijuana." I didn't receive any decent answer when I asked if the coffee would be removed from the teacher's lounge.

No wonder everyone spends the rest of their life trying to forget middle school.

I was coming back to Delhi after a months training program on my first job. I had to board my train from Bhubaneshwar (Orissa) to delhi on the 13th july. The journey did not begin as a lot of people were going back to their hometowns after taking part in the famous rath yatra held in Puri. There were 6 of us going back to delhi and our tickets could not get confirmed. We tried for the same train the next day. My colleagues who had to go to punjab, had their tickets confirmed. They were quite agog about their confirmed tickets in the Purushottam 'Superfast' Express. We were also happy as our tickets were also confirmed, but in a different train, the kalingautkal 'Express'. Their train had to depart at 11:25 pm and ours had to leave at 10:40 pm. The Purushottam 'Superfast' Express takes 36 hours whereas my train normally took 42. We reached the station at 10:40. What happened next was similar to the voice of my discipline teacher in school, who told me to take an extra round of the field when I came late.

Mr Saboo, as he was popularly known was a retired constable. Some said he was suspended from the service. Looking at his age I too thought so. His voice fell on my deaf ears as he told me to take 4 rounds of the football ground when I came late to school. It was a cold winter morning and Delhi's winters made me even more lazy. I went to the field, which was a few meters away and went for the walk hoping it would be a leisure/pleasure walk,  a legal morning assembly bunk. As I eased myself on the field and began to enjoy the morning, unaware that the predators eyes were watching me carefully, I strolled through the finely cut grass enjoying the morning. As I walked the famous song pictured on Amitabh Bachchan, "Main aur meri tanhai aksar yeh baatein kartein hain" created a romantic mood, which I thought was caused by foggy weather and cool air brushing my head causing changes in the blood flow in my brain. All I thought about was my crush and I enjoyed the walk, till I hit a tree and fell down. The moment I fell, I thought I was lucky, to hit a soft tree. I looked around to see if anyone was watching and I saw 7 students standing in a line laughing.

"They are gone, laughing in front of sabooo, huh, mad creatures"

Just as these words passed through the romantic streams of my mind the acoustic guitar supporting the music seemed to get out of sync. The lines "yeh kahaan aa gaye ham" sung by the queen of melody, "Lata Mangeshkar" just seemed out of rhythm. "Ab iske sur ko kya hua"

SMASH!... THUD!...

I thought the tree was soft that its branch had weakened and broken as I had smashed into it. What a masculine man I was...

5 seconds might have passed after hitting the tree. As I came back to my senses, Saaboo sir had held my collar.

(manner less)Battameez!!!

(four more rounds) Chaar round auur lagaaoo....

Huh

*

...Teenee teenee teenee...

Train no: 8447 kalingautkal 'Express' is 3 hours late... sorry for inconvenience.

Woah...

Thats what I call as the wrong side of Indian Railways.

There were positive things yet to arrive ; just a bit late. My train was 3 hours late before it even arrived at the station. It departed at 1:45 am. My friends who had to leave at 11:25 left at 12:00 midnight. They were happy , in fact very happy". This is what I call customer delight part one. Part two was with us. Their train in the end was 13 hours late and mine managed  to catch up and was only 2 hours late. We arrived at Delhi much before them. I had the same feeling, which I had few years back in school, when my punishment of 8 rounds by Mr Saboo was reduced to 2 rounds after the principal intervened and thats when I thought of another customer , the student and his delight. As days passed I became a known face and Saboo sir seldom missed me. Thanks to his efforts I took a step further in being disciplined. Those steps were, waking up early in the morning, and quickly getting ready.

You've got it wrong again. I'll tell you about those steps in my next blog entry. Till then goodbye.

[Statutory Warning: If you are Mr Saboo, please take this in a good spirit like the way we travel via train (... sorry for inconvenience). If you know him don't tell this to him, but do spread the word ;-) ]

]]> http://octopusmom.wordpress.com/?p=25 Wed, 16 Jul 2008 19:31:55 +0000 octopusmom http://octopusmom.wordpress.com/?p=25 AGHHHH!!! My three year old daughter can whine and fuss enough to make even Mother Teresa impatient. It is driving me crazy and I can't get her to STOP! Anyone out there have any suggestions on how to get your preschooler to stop whining, I am all ears. There must be something! I have tried sticker charts, time outs, ignoring the behavior, and yes even loosing my temper----all in vain. I am hoping, fingers crossed, that it is just a phase and that in time she will outgrow it...but in the meantime, what can I do??? The boys don't seem to whine like she does, maybe it is just a girl thing>>Thanks out there!

I'm sticking to the food I brought today, all of which are (individually) less Points than a bagel with light cream cheese, which can run about 9 Points vs. the 6 Points in my Healthy Choice pizza. Besides, I figured that eating a bagel would be too much when I already had a pizza. That's too much breadstuffs in one day for me.

And I need to lay off consuming diet sodas again, which I have been doing a bit more frequently lately. No, I'm not back to drinking six a day but I know I'm having too many. So shame on me; I gotta resist those, too.

It's a nice day today so I'm looking forward to my walk in about 30 minutes. It should be good!

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I believe in plodding. Productivity is more a matter of diligent, long-distance hiking than it is one-hundred-yard dashing. Doing a little bit now is far better than hoping to do a lot on the morrow. So redeem the fifteen minute spaces. Chip away at it. For example, I have a stack of six books that I am working through most weekday mornings -- a page or two of each every time I sit down to read. I do the same thing with writing -- if you have time for a little bit, then do a little bit.

Read the entire thing here.

Greg has really been struggling with the fatigue side of RA, and the doctor told him that this is the hardest part of the disease to accept. I think I have tried to make up for the strength that he has lost. I have been trying to figure out how to solve things and power up to make life run the way it is supposed to with both of us with full gun energy. My body and the Lord have told me that this is impossible. Sometimes I need tangible ways to learn these truths...and this week the tangibles are a smoking 3 month old lawnmower and a broken 6 month old carpet cleaner. The tools in which I can control things around me that look out of control (ie my lawn and muddy carpets--all from the much needed rain) are not working. I am reminded that in EVERYTHING God is in sovereign control. He is working all of these things for my good--the conformity to Jesus Christ (Romans 8:28 )

My emotional and spiritual and physical resources have been low--and for a reason. Even though it is hard, I thank Him so much that I know Him and am loved and cared for by my gracious Heavenly Father. There is no where to go but Him. It is at times like these that I do need Him to take my chin and lift my face toward Him reminding me of who He is and reminding me of His truth. This morning and this week I have been reminded that I need to make margins for health. Sometimes my page has got writing all over it--no margins. I allow myself to be pulled here and there, and I end up completely spent with not much to show for it. In forming this new ministry non-profit ( I have a name--Women's Discipleship Concepts), caring for Greg and picking up slack at home, meeting with women and helping with camps this summer, I have to look at how to create some margins.
Please pray for me as I spend time with the Father. Pray that I remember to remain in Him. That the truth of the gospel be at all times in my heart and mind.

Time Magazine's cover story this week: “Mandela at 90; The Secrets of Leadership,” by Richard Stengel, illustrates principles the former President of South Africa, Nelson Mandela, followed to fight apartheid:

“He liberated a country from a system of violent prejudice and helped unite white and black, oppressor and oppressed, in a way that had never been done before.”

Of Mandela's arrest and subsequent imprisonment for twenty-eight years, Stengel states:

“The key to Mandela is those prison years. He went in emotional and headstrong and emerged balanced and disciplined.”

Like Mandela, it took Moses forty years of wandering in the desert with the Israelites until the promised land was reached. During those years of character refinement and learning dependence and obedience to God, Moses emerged as a great leader.

I certainly can learn invaluable lessons from these two great men. Instead of becoming bitter and resentful because of my problems, I will try to examine adverse situations and ask myself: What personality defects in me are being reshaped or removed by this experience? How can I become a better Christian through this trial? What does God want me to learn from this? And last but not least, How can I better serve others as a result this?

Dear Lord, You know my defects and sins, yet you still love me. Transform my consciousness so I might view the hard times of life as opportunities to grow and change; to become more like You. Thank You for the living examples of greatness we have in our present time that teach us the character refinements we gain from adversity. Continue to help me grow into Your likeness. Amen.