31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

I think it is vitally important to follow this passage if one is to break free from sexual bondage and addiction.  By holding onto bitterness, anger, and malice there is no way to look critically at one's self and deal with the issues, actions, and mental conditions that keep us bound up in sexual impurity.  The perpetuation of the addiction is encouraged by bitterness and anger, and as this is mixed with the shame and guilt of acting out the destructive spiral is maintained.

In this bitterness and anger the tendency is to blame and accuse others of ones issues and problems.  This prevents us from looking at our actions and determining the real underlying trauma and habits that have created and encouraged the sexual behavior.  Once the anger is released and forgiveness is embraced then the inner self can be evaluated.

This concept may be one of the most difficult to understand and embrace in terms of saving a relationship.  The inclination to avoid blame and fight back against one's spouse can be overwhelming when in the grips of anger.  This approach does nothing to foster the recovery and rebuilding process during a crisis.

It is all very good theory but actually letting go of the anger and bitterness can be hard.  It takes a great deal of work and self reflection in order to come to a point where it all makes sense.  I feel this is the critical point in my journey right now.  I have begun to let go of the anger and I am in the process of cleansing myself from the bitterness.  To some degree it doesn't even make sense due to the fact that I am the one who brought all this crisis into my marriage.  Why should I be angry?  There is room for healing and growth.

Friendster Taurus Horoscope for August 21, 2008:

A friend or family member is doing quite well right now, and while you're awfully proud of them, you might also be the teensiest bit jealous. Don't feel guilty about it -- it's totally normal. But if you start to feel like you're getting left behind while they rush ahead, it would be a good thing just to have a small talk with them. Give them the chance to explain that they really haven't changed. The conversation will make you feel better and it will make them feel better, too.

Whoaa? How do you know??? I feel this horoscope really describe the situation I'm currently in. Well, not necessarilly the whole sentences, but some or a bit part of it. I surprised when I read today's description, about relationship thingy.. Exactly the subject that I just think and wonder at the moment.

I was just coming home from worked out at the gym with Huda. Somehow I feel a bit awkward moment.. Something has changed :((. He speak less..laugh less..joke less.. I hate changes!! Miss the old him...

If the horoscope's right, all I need to do is just TALK. Huffff........

~KarmaPlurk=20.47

In the meantime I'll be the one
turning these scenes into reality.

will work for peanuts

Originally uploaded by micahnova

Thank you for stopping by to watch the circus! I wonder where the circus is going next? It was a lot of fun for me to do an epic story. The circus theme was partially inspired by a novel I picked up in an airport book store recently called "Water for Elephants" by Sara Gruen. I felt slightly annoyed reading the book and discovering that it was given the grand Disney-esque ending. I know people who read the last page of a novel first, and if it's not completely jolly rancher, they will refuse to read the rest of it. I guess that's why I took my circus elephant story down tragedy lane. Gruen's novel was filled with quite a few interesting facts about circus history. One thing that interested me was that when tragedy struck during a performance, the circus brass band would strike up the tune "Stars and Stripes Forever" in order to send a signal to the emergency crew of an accident. Now... back to your regularly scheduled Trudge!

I am going to do my chores now. 7pm show starting! LOL.

Did some things just now, was putting in 100% of effort into it. Hopefully it's alright. LOL.

Yahhh... Rahmat Tuhan yang bisa bikin kita tampil bicara di depan umum, atau mungkin juga bisa bikin kita gila kaya foto-foto di bawah ini.
What a fun marriage we have! jarang-jarang ada suami yang mau diajak gila dan ngga tahu malu hehehe... We are Ariefano's!

Artikel di bawah ini lucu juga... biarpun kl di baca-baca... di kasus pernikahan gw, ada beberapa (atau banyak, atau bahkan 90%nya nih ckckckckc) yang justru My Bad Habits yang Drive My Hubby Crazy hahaha..
Buat intermezo aja...

Read some of the fascinating facts where husband's sense of hygiene and his habits are highly deplorable and the outcome is irritation. How can husbands become disciplined in this matter?

1. Some wife's either can't stand or hate when husbands dig their nose and for some husbands, picking their nose in public places is a large problem.

2. Some husbands have the habit of leaving their moustache trimmings all over their wife's dressing table.

3. Some husbands wear dirty clothes; rarely showers but downpours a good amount of perfume to replace his unpleasant aroma. In addition, few husbands never hang their clothing carefully in wardrobes or take care in not to wrinkle or mess up the clothing of other members of the family.

4. Some husbands sneeze without covering their mouth. The racket sound along with their sneeze is even more embarrassing for some wife's.

5. The first thing that some husbands accomplish in the morning is monopolizing the newspaper. Plus, they demand or at least expect tea or coffee in their cups or flask.

6. Men and stinking socks are inseparables, which is one of the most irritating habits. Many husbands throw dirty socks under the bed or roll them in their shoes.

7. Some husbands mess a perfectly clean room, which was arranged or well organized by their wife.

8. Some husbands leave the bathroom and toilet in a mess or in a most horrible state.

9. Some husbands walk all over the house in wet slippers, thereby creating dangerous wet spots for wife's to slip over.

10. Some husbands throw wet towels on bed and some place their unclean ear buds wherever convenient.

11. Some husbands forget their wife's birthday, anniversaries, list of groceries, their own Tel No, wallets, dinner dates. However, they don't forget their friends, bosses and secretaries birthdays especially the female secretaries.

12. Most husbands are absent-minded. One husband dropped his wife at one theatre and then he waited endlessly at another 2 km away from the theatre.

13. Most husbands are extremely negligent. They misplace their glasses, keys and most important of all, T.V Remote.

14. Some husbands sip a soft drink awkwardly through the straw. The way they suck is as if they are fitted with some 1000 watt vacuum pump in inside of their mouth.

15. Some husbands have styles of eating. Even morsel that goes into his mouth is eaten with a crackling sound and lips wide open. The moment she looks at him, he stops, only to return again.

16. Most husbands have a one-word solution to any or every problem: "LATER"

17. Some husbands roam in house with their underpants and others walk around the house with a towel wrapped around their waist. Some aren't ashamed of their BEAR body.

18. Some husbands never close the drawers or wardrobes, when they look for a pair of clean socks or a neat shirt. The wife must follow them around and continually shut the drawers and wardrobes.

19. Some husbands never replace the cap on the toothpaste tube. Some do not shut the tap tightly and it leads to irritating drip and waste of water.

20. Some husbands never carefully remove and replace the items in the fridge. They never rinse the cup, serving dishes, plate or soiled knife but nicely leave them in the kitchen basin and his actions are same even during the absence of domestic help.

21. Some husbands either never place their soiled clothes in the basket or lazy to put them but drop wherever he wishes to and the wife has to be at the back to pick and dispose it.

22. Some husbands never care to clean the ashtrays but promptly fill the ashtrays with ashes, leaving their wife's to clean them.

23. Most husbands never switch off the lights while leaving the room. They do the same with some electronic goods.

24. Some husbands never close the door gently but slam them roughly. Rough hands!

25. Other unusual habit, which is worth to mention,
a. Some husbands comb their bald head.
b. Shaking their feet while eating, talking and sitting.
c. Scratching on walls while in the telephone.
d. Not buttoning his shirt right to the top or bottom.

A habit is a bad thing that sticks to you like a leech.
Even if the H is taken out, "a bit" remains.
Even if the A is taken out, "bit" remains.
Even if the B is taken out, "it" remains.

Taken from: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=374742976&blogID=425231621

My wife and kids are back in school again and I'm not sure if I should be excited or exhausted. I can be excited because my house is a little more peaceful during the day and with this semester of school, my wife is one step closer to becoming a nurse.
I can also say exhausted because I have had to change my start time at work. I have to be awake to take care of the kids in the evening. I have to make sure my daughter gets to softball practice and my son's soccer practice will start soon as well. Do I seem like I'm complaining? I don't want it to seem that way. I know it's all worth it. It will allow me to spend more time with my kids and for my wife to concentrate on school.

I have been blessed with good news and saddened by bad news. The good news is my brother Joe is going to be coming home from the Army for a week. I was a little upset with him for a while because of something that happen but then I read Matt's blog from August 12th called "when God doesn't listen" he had a part in there that really hit home. It was from Matt 6:14-15 it says
"for if you forgive people of their wrongdoings, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. But if you don't forgive people, then your heavenly father will not forgive your wrongdoing"

Because of that it made me reflect on my reasons for being angry with him and I realized it was selfish to stay angry. So I've let it go and I'm looking forward to see him.

The bad news that I heard today was that my Grandpa is back in the hospital. He has had Cancer for a long time now. He has been getting treatment and fighting the whole way. He went into the hospital because his blood sugar was near 600. The reason my brother is coming into town was for my Grandpa's 70th birthday party. Now everything is put on hold until we find out how he is doing. I know all I can do is pray.

On a totally different note, I have decieded to try to play the guitar again. When I was younger I tried to play but I never put much into it and gave it up. All I am doing right now is trying to learn chords and gain control of my fingers. I own an electric guitar but I don't have an amp. So I borrowed my brothers acoustic guitar so I can learn. Now I have a few months to save money to buy my own because that's when he will take it down to Texas where he is stationed in the Army. I guess I'm not in that big of a hurry, I have to see if I can play the guitar first.

Well its time for me to go have a good day today.
Lord bless you all,
Bob-

Btw, Go Go White Sox !

wish me have a good trip guys :)

 This month is: Admit You're Happy Month, which is fantastic unless of course you actually aren't faking your unhappiness, in which case I recomend trying ice cream, Cheetos and a few LOL Cats.

This week is: Air Conditioning Appreciation Week, and let me tell you, working nights, I really do love my air conditioning.  In fact, I love my AC unit so much that my roommate has begun to complain about my constant makeout sessions with it... 

*ahem*, moving on:

Today is: National Spumoni Day.  Spumoni is another way to overcome your unhappiness, as it is very nearly nature's perfect food; it is made from ice cream, is made of ice cream, has a really fun name, and finally, it is made of ice cream.

Strange Headline of the Day: Monkey eludes dragnet at Tokyo train station.

TOKYO - Morning train commuters in Tokyo were joined on their way to work by an unusual companion Wednesday: a wild monkey. A security guard spotted the monkey near ticket gates in Shibuya Station, said Norihiru Masui, a spokesman for train operator Tokyu Corp.

The monkey climbed to a perch high atop a departure board, and around 30 policemen surrounded the area and attempted to snare it with a variety of nets, as commuters crowded around and snapped pictures with their cell phones.

The standoff ended when the monkey climbed down and dashed out of the station, with several policeman and local TV crews in tow. News reports said the monkey was last seen heading in the direction of nearby Yoyogi Park.

The animal appeared to be a Japanese monkey, which are native to the country, and was about 27 inches (70 centimeters) long from head to the tip of the tail. No one was injured and no trains were delayed in the incident.

Japanese media have reported several monkey sightings in Tokyo recently, but it was unclear if they involved the same animal.

Monkeys have long made appearances in rural parts of Japan, where they have been known to damage crops, swipe food from grocery stalls and even bite humans. In recent years, growth in the monkey population has meant more frequent forays out of the forests and into farms and towns.

Check it out at: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080820/ap_on_fe_st/japan_wild_monkey_chase;_ylt=AnN2NDfRL2.AOWgVVBVnrvPtiBIF

Cool Thing of the Day: Nintendo Tattoos

Check out some more here: http://www.trendhunter.com/photos/23132

And last but not least it's the Quote of the Day:

It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

-Alfred Adler (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_Adler)

My stuff came just now. Hey! Mummy I on my Macro xD.

Lala.

Okay these two are mine.

I am going to play with her later. Have to bath now, need to go out and get money from friend, because people are retarded, don't know how to use ATM to transfer money to your bank account. Oh wait, people don't trust you too. Then why ask me to help?! Stupid dumb dumb. No more help. Even if you give me the money, I will return to you.

Still insisted on wanting to copy my IC. Stupid dumb dumb!!!

Okay I shan't let a stupid dumb dumb spoil my day.. Hmph.

I am so sick to my stomach now. I was looking on Google and I have this thing on my computer that will autofill stuff that you have typed in there before. Well, apparently Jonathan has googled in Vida Guerra, that big booty, big titty cuban girl on Livin' the Low Life (a show on the Speed Channel) and this just makes me sick. He also typed in wemon, I guess he misspelled women? I don't know. But nothing good comes up when I look that up again. And what comes up with I look at Vida Guerra is a pictures of her in bikinis and lingerie with her butt stuck up in the air.

I am so sick. I don't know what to think. I want to curl up in a ball and die. I don't think it's the actual act that he is looking at other women online, but more the fact that I am so insecure in myself and tell him that he should want someone that looks a lot better than me and then he says no, I'm beautiful and sexy the way I am. And then behind my back, my fears come true and he is looking at other women who are more sexier, with bigger butts, bigger tits, and on top of all that, thin and very tan. I wish I could vomit. I hate myself. I wish I could just die. Maybe I would be able to handle this better if I wasn't going through all this shit at work and trying to get another part-time job and trying to lose weight, changing birth controls, and coming off my anti-depressant medication.

I don't know whether to confront Jonathan about this or just let it go and keep and eye on it. Does anyone have any advice, if anyone is actually reading this stupid thing anyway?

Well if I wasn't going to eat breakfast before, I certainly not going to be able to stomach it now after this.

there's been a lot of phone calls and late nights; questions and confrontations; some drinks, some sticks; a lot of fights and the process of coming clean and all the games that people play with each other, literally and metaphorically. hi, i'm Su Ann, the girl who got stabbed in the back, and i'm over caffeinated, improving in pool, and sleep deprived. courtesy of the pregnant ballerina, you know what don't mix? chivas on rocks and sleeping pills and beers. potential death? no. but it'll probably knock you out for a bit, and if you take too many pills, i'll see you at the hospital where you shall have your stomach pumped out.

you know what mixes really well though? :) starbucks with mysterious substances and crazy wild random people and long heart to hearts and making a lot of random toasting; taking so-called jogs and having sucky nasi lemak at 7AM; changing plans for about at least 213897526 times; Lamb of God and Metallica and SOAD and having someone who truly likes the music that i do and would kill for my mp3 contents; maggi mee at 3 in the morning; playing hooky; losing your mind .. being someone else.

i could do without the stabbing in the back and the drama and the yelling and the resentment, though. and the unpaid bills; ohmygod the unpaid bills.

by the way, i'm never talking to you again.

so anyhow.

my bestest guy friend is back in town :) he'd probably help me say fuck off to a lot of dumbshits, make me see things in perspective, be totally supportive even if i screw up, tolerate all my sarcasm, and remind me that my exams are coming. best of all, he won't ever try to tell me what to do or judge me.

:)

I'm working 6 days this week. Not sure that was a good idea but I have no choice now. Aside from having to go to the gynecologist this week, my toilet over flowed the same day ... about 10 minutes before I was supposed to be at an event for the paper. There I was, standing in the middle of my apartment in toilet water. I had to change my pants before scurrying out and in the rush I forgot my camera. Which is a whole other story.

I was finally able to enjoy the fair tonight with some old friends from school and tomorrow I'm going to see a movie with some other girlfriends.

I'm headed to bed but will write more when things aren't so hectic.

Jonathan and I are suppose to get up and be at the school to walk/run by seven in the morning, so we can do so and get ready and head over to the city for my interview. It's about forty-five minutes away. I hope we make it in time without a hitch. Now that I really think about it, I about don't want to go to the interview tomorrow. I am kind of nervous about having another job. I guess I am afraid that I won't be able to work a full-time job and also a part-time one a few days a week (I don't know if I have mentioned this, but I work four 10-hour shift days a week at my current job, so I have three days off a week) because I would really want first shift so that I could still let Jonathan use my car to go to classes in the afternoon. That would be really hard, working till eleven at night, then getting up and having to be in the city at probably seven, maybe eight if I am really lucky. 

I have a "friend" at work (I put the bunny ears because I don't really know her outside of work, but I would consider her a friend because she is really cool and honestly, I don't have any friends outside of work) that is wanting to trade phones with me. I have a carolina blue LG Chocolate and she has a black LG enV2. I really like that phone and would like to trade with her before we got paid because I had some extra money come in. I am thinking about texting her and seeing if she wants to do it tomorrow. I think I will.

I get a checkbox list of categories when creating a post. I'm putting this post in every category except "Uncategorized"

I have to enter tags manually, separating them with commas. I sure wish it could give me a list of my currently used tags. Perhaps I just haven't found the list yet...   Ah, it has a type-ahead in the tag textbox for currently used tags, but you have to know the first letter of the tag. Better than nothing.