LONDON, BERLIN, PATAGONIA & DACHAU - 24 July 2008 - Neo-Nazis throughout Europe, Asia, The Middle East and North, Central and South America, including Patagonia - expressed shock, regret and not a little sadness today at the news that Formula One boss “Mad” Max Mosley was awarded a record £60,000 in damages after winning his privacy case over claims he took part in a “sick Nazi orgy”.

High Court judge Mr Justice Headly Lamarr (and you may ask yourself why) sided with Mr Mostly in his action against the News of the World, which published pictures of him indulging in a sado-masochistic sex session with five hookers, four birches, three blunt razors, two cans of quick-acting, stain-free Zyklon B automatic dishwasher pellets (”Insert ONLY from above and step back”) and a plastic partridge in a pear tree shaped dildo.

In the sleepy Bavarian village of Dachau, 83-year-old horse butcher, Adolf Hatler (Ed. Names changed to prevent being sued) said it was another sad day for Nazism in general. “You’d think after 63 years we could go back to living a normal life without shame and not fear the justice system ignoring our God-given Human Right to hobbies and games that have been handed down to generations of Bavarian Catholics.”

Eva Brown (Ed. Names changed…etc.) now 87 and a mornings-only Berlin library-cleaning lady, waxed nostalgic and a football-pitch-sized wooden floor. “I’m too old now to participate but I fondly recall in 1945 as the Russians entered Potsdam spraying sweet-smelling lavender-scented Zyklon B insect repellant on Dr. Joseph Googles and his wife who were already in a state of heightened excitement at the thought of being captured copulating in full military regalia.”

One-time Bayern Munich “Mittelstuermer” Franz-Josef Hitler (Ed. Names changed…etc.) reached on his iPhone 3GB in remote Patagonia was less sanguine. “Thank the Lord we out here are safe from prying journalists, after-all they only got Eichmann when the blithering idiot went to see The Godfather because he’d heard Robert Duvall was his spitting image. But I would appreciate an email with the online address for the bird-shaped dildo. That sounds like fun.”

Formula One “Obersturmbahnfuerer” Mosley (Ed. Only some names changed…etc.) himself seemed torn between two birchings about the record sum awarded him. “Just because I’m the son of Britain’s last Fascist Leader willing to announce his allegiance to Nazism in public doesn’t mean to say I actually enjoy wearing concentration camp kit, having my pubes shaved with a blunt razor, being screamed at by hookers pretending to be prison guards, and Jews at that, inserting Zyklon-B capsules from below without rubber gloves and not stepping away and anticipating somewhat fearsomely four agonising hours of “The Partridge” In fact I don’t enjoy it at all. That’s the whole point. It’s the humiliation that’s the most fun. Like I’m getting standing here outside the court talking to you “Arschlochers!”

Große Spezialität des Wirtshauses ist laut der Gastrokritikerin der SZ ein Gericht namens - schon wieder kein Witz - "König-Ludwig-Rolle". Das ist eine "völlig abseitige Kreation", und zwar ein aufgerolltes Schnitzel, gefüllt mit Würfeln von der sauren Gurke, paniert, frittiert und dann komplett in Remoulade getunkt. Mmmmmhhhhh - geil eklig!

Hat das schon mal jemand gegessen oder plant jemand jetzt, das nachzukochen? Wenn ja, freue ich mich sehr über Erfahrungberichte jedweder Art...

Released USA November 1997

This brilliant film is set in Nazi Germany during the Holocaust. Featuring Ian McKellen in the role of Uncle Freddy, it is a deeply disturbing story about a gay man who denies both his sexuality and his lover when the two men are captured and taken to the Dachau concentration camp.

There he gradually falls in love with another prisoner named Horst - portrayed by Lothaire Bluteau, who won a Cannes award for this role. Their extraordinary relationship develops in what are truly the most bizarre circumstances and accelerates toward a heart-stopping outcome.

A word of caution: this movie contains scenes of extreme violence and is not suited for the faint of heart.

The incredible screenplay is written by Sean Mathias and the film is directed by Martin Sherman. The cast includes Nikolaj Coster-Waldau as Wolf, Mick Jagger as Greta/George, Brian Webber as Rudy, with Jude Law in the role of Stormtrooper.

Bent - part 1
Bent - part 2
Bent - part 3
Bent - part 4

The "Eternal Jew"

The concept of the "Wandering Jew" is far older than National Socialism. It derives from a literary and popular legend, about a Jew who mocked or mistreated Jesus while he was on his way to the cross and who was condemned therefore to a life of wandering on earth until Judgment Day.

The story of this wanderer was first recorded in the chronicles of Roger of Wendover and Matthew of Paris during the thirteenth century. The exact nature of the wanderer's indiscretion varies in different versions of the tale, as do aspects of his character, some of the more common themes being the doom of the "Wandering Jew" to travel the world forever, forsaken by all unfortunate enough to encounter him.

Nazi Propaganda saw in this proof that the Jews have been justifiably persecuted by all racers over the millenium.
 

The Eternal Jew exhibition first opened in the Library of the German Museum in Munich on November 8, 1937, and ended on January 31, 1938. Billed as a degenerate-art exhibition, it was the largest prewar anti-Semitic exhibit thus far produced by the Nazi's. The exhibit featured photographs pointing out the typically "Jewish" features of political figures, such as Leon Trotsky, and international film star Charlie Chaplin.

The displays emphasized supposed attempts by Jews to bolshevize Germany, It did this by revealing an 'eastern' Jew - wearing a kaftan, and holding gold coins in one hand and a whip in the other. Under his arm is a map of the world, with the imprint of the hammer and sickle. The exhibition attracted 412,300 visitors, over 5,000 per day.

The exhibition moved to Vienna for August 2 through October 23, 1938, and then to Berlin from November 12, 1938 through January 31, 1939. Police reports stated there was a direct correlation rise in anti-Semitic feelings, and in some cases violence against the Jewish community in each city the exhibition was held.

Read the full article here:
http://www.holocaustresearchproject.org/holoprelude/derewigejude.html

The Holocaust Education & Archive Research Team

www.HolocaustResearchProject.org

Hitler; Himmler Shoah; Third Reich; Final Solution; Nazi; National Socialism; Jews; Judaism; The Holocaust; Auschwitz; Deathcamps; Sobibor; Belze; Treblinka; Krakow; Lublin; Action Reinhard; Wirth; Globocnik; Goering; Goebbels; Anne Frank; Propaganda; Genocide; Murder; Racism; Aryan; anti-Semitism; Israel; Torah; Talmud; Sephardic; Mengele; Euthanasia; Wannsee; World War II; Axis History; Gas Vans; Chelmno; gas chamber; Zyklon B; Buchenwald; concentration camp; Dachau; Bergen Belsen; Stuthoff; Gross Rosen; Mauthausen; Natzweiler; Survivors;

Dachau was a Nazi German concentration camp, and the first one opened in Germany, located on the grounds of an abandoned munitions factory near the medieval town of Dachau, about 16 km (10 miles) northwest of Munich in the state of Bavaria which is located in southern Germany.

Opened in March 1933, it was the first regular concentration camp established by the coalition government of National Socialist (Nazi) NSDAP party and the Catholic Zentrum party (dissolved on 6 July 1933). Heinrich Himmler, Chief of Police of Munich, officially described the camp as "the first concentration camp for political prisoners."

Dachau served as a prototype and model for the other Nazi concentration camps that followed. Its basic organization, camp layout as well as the plan for the buildings were developed by Kommandant Theodor Eicke and were applied to all later camps. He had a separate secure camp near the command center, which consisted of living quarters, administration, and army camps. Eicke himself became the chief inspector for all concentration camps, responsible for molding the others according to his model.

In total, over 200,000 prisoners from more than 30 countries were housed in Dachau of whom two-thirds were political prisoners and nearly one-third were Jews. 25,613 prisoners are believed to have died in the camp and almost another 10,000 in its subcamps, primarily from disease, malnutrition and suicide. In early 1945, there was a typhus epidemic in the camp followed by an evacuation, in which large numbers of the weaker prisoners died.

Together with the much larger Auschwitz, Dachau has come to symbolize the Nazi concentration camps to many people. Konzentrationslager (KZ) Dachau holds a significant place in public memory because it was the second camp to be liberated by British or American forces. Therefore, it was one of the first places where the West was exposed to the reality of Nazi brutality through firsthand journalist accounts and through newsreels.

I had a very connective, emotional experience here. I have not been able to explain it in person, and am not ready to write about it either. But maybe you can get some idea by looking at the pictures.

Munich (minus all the pictures on other people's cameras):

Jordan, Emily, Shayna, and Me on the first night; Clock tower at Marienplatz; Random street in Munich; Stream at the English Garden.

Este es uno de los post más difíciles a los que me he enfrentado. Durante la pasada semana he tenido ocasión de visitar dos campos de concentración. El de Mauthausen en Austria y el de Dachau en Alemania. Las sensaciones vividas son difíciles de explicar porque uno no llega a comprender qué llevó a aquellos dementes a torturar, vejar, humillar y asesinar a semejantes de esa forma. He llorado de emoción y de rabia.

Cuando entras en los campos sólo te apetece permanecer en silencio, guardar el máximo respeto por todos aquellos que pasaron por allí, aquellos que por razón de religión, raza, ideales o nacionalidad fueron despojados de su dignidad y de los derechos más elementales como seres humanos. No sé el qué, pero hay algo que se apodera de ti, te hace un nudo en el estómago y hay momentos en los que el ambiente se hace casi irrespirable. Quise hacer la prueba de cerrar la puerta de la cámara de gas de Mauthausen para tratar de sentir mínimamente la sensación de aquellos que se encaminaban a la muerte y puedo asegurar que es una sensación angustiosa aun a sabiendas que basta con empujarla de nuevo para salir.

Cuando vas leyendo las diferentes informaciones que hay repartidas por el campo más y más te sobrecojes. Cuando te enteras que la escalera de la muerte no tenía los 180 peldaños iguales sino que algunos tenían medio metro y los presos tenían que subir con bloques de piedra de 50 kilos en la espalda y aquellos que por agotamiento desfallecían eran arrojados por el muro de la cantera al que se conocía como el "muro de los paracaidistas" te das cuenta que el ser humano vuelto contra si mismo es voraz. Cuando subía por la escalera no podía dejar de pensar en el sufrimiento de aquellos hombres que en el mejor de los casos iban a sobrevivir dos meses, que era la vida media del prisionero de Mauthausen, por lo que no es de extrañar que muchos de ellos se arrojasen por el mencionado muro o se lanzasen sobre las alambradas electrificadas.

Me impactaron profundamente las caras desencajadas por el sufrimiento. Seres humanos, personas con una historia, una vida, una familia y un futuro reducidas a nada por unos supuestos ideales de pureza, la demencia y el fanatismo. Los mismos ideales que algunos imbéciles se dedican a proclamar hoy, más de sesenta años después allá donde tienen ocasión. Qué atrevida es la ignorancia.

Las visitas las realicé con mi mujer y mis hijos de 8 y 4 años que no sabía como reaccionarían. El mayor nos hacía preguntas fruto de la curiosidad de alguien para el que todo es un descubrimiento y que no podía entender que otras personas hicieran lo que las imagenes le mostraban, pero el que realmente nos sorprendió fue el pequeñajo cuando nos preguntó si por la tarde se podría poner el disfraz de Halloween del cole. El disfraz que llevó este año era un mono negro con un esqueleto pintado. Nos dejó de piedra porque el también a sus 4 años percibió algo.

En el crematorio de Dachau coincidi con un hombre que al igual que yo hacía fotos. No cruzamos palabra alguna mientras estabamos dentro, pero al salir resultó que era un señor de Barcelona. Estuvimos comentando el horror y al final al despedirnos mi mujer y el se dieron un abrazo. No nos conociamos de nada y seguramente no nos volveremos a ver, pero ese abrazo significaba muchas cosas....

Este es el primer video que hago en mi vida y el destino ha querido que trate este tema. Sirva como un pequeño homenaje.

También me gustaría que os imaginaseis lo que tendría que ser subir la escalera cargado y en ese estado físico. El siguiente video es una toma en tiempo real. Insisto escalones todos iguales y con mortero. En aquella época no lo tenía y además algunos escalones podían llegar a los 50 cm.

Descansen todos en paz.

I'm only writing this because I read this story, Why Krakow?, on Orato.com and it brought back memories of the time I spent visiting the Dachau concentration camp. It was no Auschwitz, but the scent of death was surely the same.

Dachau was a show-camp. That means mass murder didn't happen there the way it did at Auschwitz. The camp was run as "proof" to the Red Cross that no torture or crimes against humanity were going on at the so-called Nazi "work camps". Anyone who wanted to see how people were being treated in the camps would make an appointment to be sent to Dachau, and people would be given larger rations of food and water to put on precious pounds. Children made art, and people put on theater shows. The inspectors would then walk away from the camp thinking no wrong-doing was going on, and the horror would continue until the next visit.

Dachau was different than Auschwitz is such a cruel way: hope was given and then snatched away much more often.

Being there, decades later, with no personal connection to the place other than being human, was an unsettling and surreal feeling. The camp was surrounded by a trench, which had grown in with colorful flowers and brush. Horses grazed. I stood on the railway line that led to Auschwitz. I walked the dark, narrow tunnels built into the thick brick wall surrounding the camp, and held a flashlight up to swastikas and anti-Semitic  carvings and paintings on the walls.

My visit took place way back in 2001, and I still remember it, clear as day. I'm not sure how one comes to terms with what happened there, and other camps across Europe. Perhaps we don't.

The Barnes Review, issue Jan.-Feb. 2001

Far from being the "death camps" as you have heard so often, places like Auschwitz, Dachau and Buchenwald were not in the business of extermination. They were work camps, critical to the German war effort. But did you know that the Jewish workers were compensated for their labor with scrip printed specifically for their use in stores, canteens and even brothels? The prisoner monetary system was conceived in ghettos such as Lodz, carried to camps such as Auschwitz and Dachau and still existed in the displaced persons camps that were established by the Allies after World War II. Here is the story of the money the court historians do not want you to even suspect existed.

Piles of incinerated corpses were indicting images at Nuremberg, used to prove that the German-run concentration camps during World War II were intended for purposes of exterminating the Jews of Europe. However, a plethora of documentary evidence, long suppressed, shows that prisoners were relatively well-treated, compensated for their hard work and allowed to purchase luxuries to which even the German public did not have ready access. This is not the image of abject deprivation that the Holocaust lobby would like you to entertain.

The above collage, taken from the cover of Das Lagergeld der Konzentrations- und D.P.-Lager: 1933-1945 by Albert Pick and Carl Siemsen, shows just a sample of the money printed for camps and ghettos. The predominantly-white note on the right says: "Jewish Money. Only legal as a means of payment for Jewish work within the ghetto Sokolka. City Treasury of Sokolka, The Mayor."

The irrefutable proof is the existence of a means of exchange for goods and services: Money. There were at least 134 separate issues, in different denominations and styles, for such notorious places as Auschwitz, Buchenwald, Dachau, Oranienburg, Ravensbrück, Westerbork and at least 15 other camps. (See Paper Money of the World Part I: Modern Issues of Europe by Arnold Keller, Ph.D., 1956, pp. 23-25 for a complete listing.)

A monetary system was also in existence in the ghettos, most notably Theresienstadt and Lodz, which produced beautiful notes (veritable works of art) that make U.S. currency look dull.

There are numerous dealers in rare currency and numismatics who specialize in selling "concentration camp money" or "Holocaust money" as it has been sometimes called. But the very fact of its existence does not seem to have raised questions - as it should have - about what really did (and did not) happen inside the so-called "death camps" where the Holocaust scrip was circulating in the first place.

This scrip was not negotiable outside of the camp for which it was issued. This decreased the chance of a successful escape and made it impossible for the general public to purchase some of the rare luxuries available in the camps. According to Albert Pick in Das Lagergeld der Konzentrations- und D.P.-Lager: 1933-1945:

Oranienburg was the first known camp to have Lagergeld for its prisoners. The issues for this particular camp were in 5 Pfg. (green), 10 Pfg. (blue), 50 Pfg. (brown) and 1 Mark denominations. (Printed 1933 - August 1934, when the camp closed.) Unlike Theresienstadt, these notes were fairly plain without multiple colors and watermarks. Yet even these demonstrate the care and attention given to the design of money for the workers.

Inmates were not paid for the work but were given "coupons" now and then to buy things in the "Kantine".... As the war progressed badly and the number of workers declined, the KZ worker potential became important. Offers of "premiums" and other advantages were made to the inmates, tobacco was offered and even visits to bordellos.... In order that these scrips could not be used outside the camps, special money was printed.

Letter from Prisoner No. 11647 Block 28/3 Dachau KIII on September 8, 1940 to his relative in Litzmannstadt (Lodz):

I must write you something about myself. I am very well. In the canteen I buy honey, marmalade, cookies, fruit and other food. If you worry about me, you'll indeed be committing a sin. I have more reason to worry about you.... (Letters from the Doomed: Concentration Camp Correspondence 1940-1945, Richard S. Geehr.)

There was a payment schedule at Theresienstadt utilizing Th. kr. (Theresienstadt kroner) as the unit of exchange. (The Shekel Vol. XVI, No. 2, March-April 1983 p. 29). The breakdown looked like this:

Working men, according to their jobs: 105-205 Th. kr.
Working women, according to their jobs: 95-205 Th. kr.
Part-time workers: 80 Th. kr.
Caretakers: 70 Th. kr.
War-wounded and holders of the Iron Cross, First Class degree or higher: 195 Th. kr.
Prominente (doctors, professors, scientists, well-known cultural artists and politicians): 145 Th. kr.

To put this in perspective, a cup of coffee cost 2 Th. kr. The circulation in Theresienstadt was such that it was necessary to print over 5 million notes. See Papirove Penize Na Uzemi Ceskoslovenska 1762-1975, Second Edition, 1975, Hradek Kralove, trans. by Julius Sem, pp. 134-135.

The first worker's camp to have its own scrip was Oranienburg. Before using the camp scrip they used German currency in nearby towns, but the authorities decided to centralize. Currency was exchanged for camp money, less 30%. (The Shekel, Vol XVI, No. 2, March-April 1983, p. 40: "Concentration Camp Money of the Nazi Holocaust" by Steven Feller.)

Similarly at Buchenwald:

Each prisoner was allowed up to 10 marks per week to be used for the purchase of cigarettes at the camp canteen, other canteen purchases, brothel visits, or credit to a savings account. The regulations went on to specify that a visit to a brothel would cost 2 marks for which 1.5 marks would be kept by the SS and 0.5 marks would be used for "expenses." (Ibid., p. 41.)

Was there a similar situation at all of the other camps - at least those that issued currency? As this includes Auschwitz, it would be shocking indeed to even consider marmalade and cigarettes being purchased in this "death camp." Even the existence of money in camps gives us a look at what life was really like there, yet this information has yet to make it to the History Channel.

Infamous and Intricate Camp Money
Dachau "... [W]e must remember that like most other Concentration Camps, Dachau also functioned as a work camp. This explains the appearance of paper tokens printed in 1944.... Dachau's tokens were of three different values: 1, 2 and 3 marks. The prisoner's identification number is written on the front of this green note, alongside the date when it was issued, January 31, 1945. In fact, all of Dachau's tokens list the prisoner's identification numbers." Stahl, pp. 18- 19.Auschwitz "At a death camp it would seem that there was very little need for money." (The Shekel, Vol. XVI, No. 2, March-April 1983, p. 43.)		A Dachau camp note. An Auschwitz camp note.
Theresienstadt Print runs for Theresienstadt Kroner
Denomination 1 Th. kr. 2 Th. kr. 5 Th. kr. 10 Th. kr. 20 Th. kr. 50 Th. kr. 100 Th. kr.	Size 100 x 50 mm 110 x 55 mm 120 x 58 mm 125 x 63 mm 135 x 66 mm 140 x 77 mm 150 x 77 mm	Color Green Rose Blue Brown Green Dk. Green Red-brown	Qty Printed 2,242,000 1,019,000 530,000 456,000 319,000 159,000 279,000
See: The Shekel Vol. XVI, No. 2, March/April 1983, p. 33.
These beautiful Theresienstadt notes, complete with watermarks, demonstrate the high-quality artwork and printing of the money.
Lodz Colors of the different types of currency in Lodz. In print runs in 1940, 1942 and 1944: 50 Pfg. Violet 1 RM Olive-green 2 RM Light Brown 5 RM Dark Brown		Lodz ghetto money.
Information from Das Lagergeld der Konzentrations- und D.P.-Lager: 1933-1945 by Albert Pick and Carl Siemsen.

Bibliography:

American Israel Numismatic Association (Temarac, Florida).

Pick, Albert. Das Lagergeld der Konzentrations- und D.P.-Lager: 1933-1945, Munich, Battenberg Publishers, 1976.

Schöne, Michael H., Das Papiergeld im besetzten Deutschland 1945-1949, Regenstauf: Gietl, 1994.

Stahl, Zvi, Jewish Ghettos and Concentration Camps' Money, 1933-1945, London: D. Richman Books, 1990.
See also:

Campbell, Lance K., Dachau concentration camp scrip, Margate, Florida: American Israel Numismatic Association, 1992.

The Numismatist, April 1981, by Steven Feller.

Numismatic Scrapbook Magazine, 1965, 1996, "POW Money and Medals" by Slabaugh, R. Arlie.

Schultze, Manfred, Unsere Arbeit - unsere Hoffnung: Das Ghetto in Lodz 1940-1945, Schwalmtal: Phil-Creativ, 1995.

Sem, Julius, Standard Catalog of World Paper Money, 1977 (Theresienstadt notes).

Shtarot, Vol. I, No. 2, Oct. 1976. Yasha L. Beresiner.

http://www.wintersonnenwende.com/scriptorium/english/archives/articles/ccmoney.html

Dachau was liberated a few days after Orthodox Pascha and the surviving Orthodox celebrated a liturgy which gave a most profound meaning to the words of the hymn, "for from death to life and from earth to heaven has Christ our God led us."   The freed prisoners made makeshift vestments from prison garments.  It is said that they sang the Paschal hymns from memory.   It is amazing that they could remember anything at all from the days before they were thrown into hell. 

So when did “The One” turn into “That Guy”? Well, it started at a train station in Milan, and was official somewhere between Munich and Bavaria…

In the year after 9/11, The One was living abroad while I was finishing up my time at The University of Scholastic Regrets. We decided that his living situation was the perfect opportunity for the both of us to do a little traveling, so we planned to meet in Milan and spend several weeks traveling around Italy and Germany. The first part of our trip was a blast…I had just finished taking a class about the foundations of Ancient Europe, and around every twist and turn sprang a fountain, a sculpture, or a building that stood as testimony to the history I had studied for the last 3 months. Then, in Rome, the frustration started to set in:

ESSAYTCH: Wow, Trevi Fountain!
THE ONE (bored): Hurray, another fountain.
ESSAYTCH (incredulously): This just isn’t any old fountain! The Roman aqueduct system was one of many technological advances that set the Romans apart from the rest of the Byzantine world…building elaborate and ornate fountains at the endpoint of the aqueducts that brought fresh water into the city was a symbol of Roman power. This is COOL, man!
THE ONE: Wow, did you see that motorcycle?!?!?! AWESOME!!

Ok, so maybe I started to sound a little like Rick Steves. But nonetheless, it became obvious that the rich culture and living history that surrounded us was of more interest to me than it was to him…and this was unbelievable to me! I wanted to shake him a little and say “Do you like running water?! Do you appreciate not having to draw water from a polluted well or a river that also serves as your sewer?!?! Then thank the Romans, you dummy!!!” The One was starting to lose points in the “Cultural History” department. (This became shockingly apparent on our one day in Munich, when I took a day trip to Dachau while he toured an automobile manufacturing plant. Hmmmm…)

The “Cultural History” department wasn’t the only one he was rapidly losing points in. His performance in the “Don’t Be An Asshole” department was abysmal, but hey: who doesn’t love a guy that can have you crying into your wiener schnitzel in the middle of a German hofbrauhaus?

THE ONE:You know what I love about you, Essaytch? You always eat everything on your plate.
ESSAYTCH: Ummm…are you saying I eat too much?
THE ONE: No…uh…I mean, there’s no food you don’t like. You’ll eat anything!
ESSAYTCH: What?!?
THE ONE: That’s not to say you are chubby or anything…I’m just saying you’re not afraid to try new things. And even if you don’t like it, you’ll still eat it. You’re not picky.
HELGA THE WAITRESS: Can I get you somethings more?
ESSAYTCH (with a look that could kill): A body bag?

But the proverbial straw came in a Munich train station, when The One decided he wanted to buy a book to read on the train. He couldn’t remember the last time he had read something for fun (horror!), and wanted advice on what he should buy. The racks of fiction at the newsstand consisted of a diverse selection of Tom Clancy, Michael Crichton, and Nora Roberts novels…and I convinced him that he was most likely to enjoy something by Crichton. The next three hours went a little something like this:

THE ONE(excited): Oh my gosh! Ok, so in this book there is this guy, and he’s a scientist, and he’s figured out a way to make this time machine, except the time machine can only go to this one place in France in the year 1302 and some of the guys he sent got stuck there. So he’s trying to convince these archaeologists to go in the time machine to find them, and he says…(proceeds to read a page of dialogue from the book).
ESSAYTCH (putting down my own engrossing novel to listen to him): Wow, that sounds pretty interesting.
*10 minutes go by*
THE ONE(more excited): Holy crap! Ok, so you know how the guy was trying to convince the archaeologists to go in the time machine? Listen to this! (again, two more pages of dialogue read out loud)
ESSAYTCH(getting annoyed but trying to hide it): See, I knew you would like the book!
*10 more minutes go by*
THE ONE(beside himself with glee): You’re not going to believe this! Ok, so the guy…
ESSAYTCH (interrupting): You know, I think I’ll read it when you are done. I wouldn’t want you to spoil the plot!
THE ONE:Oh, ok. You’re going to love it!
ESSAYTCH: I’m sure I will…

So while it seemed he was losing points in the “Cultural History” and “Don’t Be An Asshole” departments, he was more than making up for it in the “Me Tarzan; You Jane” department. You’d have thought he had never read a novel before in his entire life…or at least one that wasn’t part of an assignment for school. And for a gal that reads several books a month on average (often at the same time), this just wasn’t going to work out.

By the time I got back to the states, “The One” had become “That Guy”. And as soon as he got back to the states, he bought a leaf blower (“This is seriously the coolest thing EVER!”) and balance was restored to the Universe.